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May 2012 Moms
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Christmas presents from grandparents

TriciaLeahTriciaLeah member
in May 2012 Moms
Please don't blast me for this somewhat selfish post. My husband is the youngest of all his siblings who all are married with kids. We spend Xmas eve with his family and xmas day with mine, which has been great. My dilemma and perhaps selfishness comes from the fact my husband's mom and dad buy Xmas presents for the grandkids each year from Santa which are then opened on Xmas eve. This isn't the tradition with my side of the family and I feel that it should be myself and my husband who purchase, wrap and give the Santa presents to be opened Xmas morning. I've tried approaching this with my husband but he doesn't really see my POV. Am I being selfish? I feel like my in laws are over stepping but since its already a tradition with their family I feel like my hands are tied.
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Re: Christmas presents from grandparents

  • ELF4321ELF4321 member

    We grew up with a situation like that -- we went to my mom's side of the family on Xmas Eve and my grandfather would take us out after dinner to drive around and look at Christmas lights while Santa came.  (Can't remember their explanation for why he came to their house early, though!)  It did not take anything away from the fun of Christmas morning. 

    I can understand why you might want something different, but honestly, if they've been doing this for years and all of the other grandkids expect it, I don't see how you would be able to change it, and trying would likely cause far more of an issue than it's worth.  Sorry, but for the sake of harmony with your inlaws, I think you're going to have to go with the flow on this one.


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  • TriciaLeahTriciaLeah member
    I don't have a huge problem with the Xmas eve present opening so much as my in laws buying the presents. I just feel that it's my privilege as a parent to buy the Santa gifts, there's just something so special about that, and I don't mean to be selfish but my in laws had that experience with their own kids and now it's our turn as the parents.
    I think you're probably right though, this may be something I won't be able to address with my inlaws without stepping on some toes.
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  • tjkdlhbtjkdlhb member

    I agree w/ pp.  I totally understand that you want to be Santa... I would definitely 100% feel the same way about it.

    but this is a tradition that has already been started and there are other kids who would be disappointed to find out otherwise.  The alternative would be worse to have your child see the other kids get "presents from Santa" at ILs and them not get any.

    I think this is a matter of 'picking your battles'. 




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  • bellelambbellelamb member
    I think that's the most unselfish thing that ant grandparents can do!!! They are buying gifts and not getting the credit. It's not like they are trying to over step you by buying a great gift for your kids from their selves so what ever you buy can't live up to what they get the night before, they are allowing their generosity to be from Santa!!

    That being said I don't see your problem it's not like Santa can't come to your house in the morning as well. Honestly we only do a few smaller gifts from Santa the big gifts every year come from me and daddy, I am selfish I don't like Santa getting the credit for what I've picked out paid for and wrapped for my kids.
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  • littleredfishlittleredfish member

    I agree with PPs; pick your battles, this shouldn't be one of them. Coming from a divorced family, everybody had their "Santa" traditions so for us Santa just came to every house. It's not like they are trying to take Santa away from you, they have other grandkids who have recognised this tradition for years now I'm guessing. I actually think it would be selfish of you to think they should drop it for your child.

    If your issue is not the opening of gifts but them buying them, why not YOU buy a small Santa gift for them to open that day. Then they aren't playing Santa for you, and their tradition can stay the same. They may think it's weird but it's a compromise.

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  • stoneycakesstoneycakes member
    We did this in my family growing up.  We went to my dad's side of the family on Christmas Eve and opened presents.  Then we did Christmas morning with just the immediate family and went to my mom's side in the afternoon.  I thought it was just fabulous as a kid!  Opening up presents on Christmas Eve did not take away from Christmas day one bit.  It made Christmas last longer than one day! Some years, I was allowed to open one of the presents from my parents late on Christmas Eve, after we came home from my dad's side.  That was pretty special, too. I think you should embrace it.  Your kid(s) will enjoy it so much.
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  • JAP09-02JAP09-02 member
    If you're selfish, then so am I. I completely understand you're feeling cheated out of the Santa experience. I think there are some rights of passage being a parent, and knowing you put the smile on your child's face at Christmas is one of them.

    I love Christmas shopping, wrapping, etc. However, I also don't think this tradition should be ruined for all the other children. Could you possibly do the shopping and wrapping and just take the presents to your inlaws?

    Also, is it possible that some of your DH's family can't afford presents, so your inlaws do this so all the children get presents? I'd be more understanding if this is the case.

    On a somewhat related note, my inlaws do Christmas big. They buy a lot of big, expensive gifts. My family does Christmas more low key in the presents department. I'm worried that when my girls are older they will favor my inlaws because of their grandeur. I could kind of this this happening in your situation too. Hopefully, I will raise them to understand what's really important.

    As for having Santa come twice, that seems kind of strange. Just my personal opinion.

    Sorry this got so long. Hopefully you can find a solution that makes everyone happy.
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  • TriciaLeahTriciaLeah member
    You have all made really good points, thanks for your replies! Holiday traditions are hard to embrace sometimes when they're not your own! I appreciate all your suggestions and ideas.
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  • k4slr6k4slr6 member
    My inlaws do this too and my parents don't.  So we will deal with it too.  I am not too worried about it since you can go with Santa coming to every house to visit.  We will be doing our small family Christmas on Christmas morning as well. 
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