Miss the belly

ahollo02 · November 2012

It has only been 1 week and 1 day since my baby was born and she is still in the NICU. I may feel differnt when she comes home but right now I miss my belly so much. And feeling her move. And having her all to myself. I never thought I would miss being pregnant but I soooooo do.

Any thoughts on how to deal?

MBB41707 · November 2012

I felt the same way! I definitely think it has to do with not being pregnant anymore and not having your baby with you yet. Also I wasn't tired of being pregnant yet and I wanted to experience the final 7 weeks of my pregnancy. I don't really have any advice other than it helped me to tell my husband all of the things I was feeling instead of keeping it to myself, and it does get better with time.

CTbride79 · November 2012

I felt exactly the same way...it got so much easier for me once his due date came and went and I knew I wouldn't be pregnant anymore anyway. But I won't lie...I had my breakdown moments at home...one time while he was still in the NICU I just sat in the glider in his nursery and cried my eyes out, missing him so much. I just reminded myself that he would be home soon, and I took advantage of K-care as much as possible...that really helped to have him so close to me.

Bluebird2318 · November 2012

Honestly, I still haven't completely dealt with the 11 weeks I "lost" in my pregnancy. I absolutely loved being pregnant! However, it definitely did get better after my due date passed by, and she began to look more and more like a typical infant. At this point I don't have an issue unless I'm talking to someone who is pregnant. I don't have an issue with seeing people posting pictures of their FT newborns anymore, but the pregnancy thing still gets me. It just sucks, because as much as I am happy for them, it hurts, and it seems like as soon as one person has her baby, another is getting her BFP. With the most recent one, it turns out her husband wasn't even ready for another baby; he was more upset than happy... And based on things she has said to me in the past, I'm pretty sure she led him into it, or at least was intentionally careless... Which, of course, bothers me, because I can't even be comfortably happy for them.

So, I'm not going to lie to you; it's hard! It will probably be hard for awhile, but it will get so, so much easier after you get your baby home and get past that due date. There are so many good things to focus on at that point!

Denesdia · November 2012

My 25 weeker is about to turn four. I also have a 35 weeker, who is the result of 15 weeks of bedrest. I barely knew the belly with my 25 weeker, and I was sad to miss all the regular pregnant lady stuff along with my "fantasy pregnancy/perfect belly". With my 35 weeker, we had to do a rescue cerclage at 21 weeks, so I spent 15 weeks of bedrest in anxiety, misery, and isolation in the hospital or in my home. I still missed my "fantasy pregnancy/perfect belly". I was enormous from water retention and having a bigger baby, but it didn't meet my expectations of the "fantasy pregnancy/perfect belly." It just sucked in a different way. Years later, I miss the belly and the "normal" experiences of being pregnant and becoming a mother that I never had. Isn't it funny that we can miss something that we never had? It does go away, but you reflect on things from a different angle. Hugs to the mamas going through this right now.

PhillyGal34 · November 2012

BostonKisses2:
Time. nbsp;I don't say that snarkily, either. nbsp;There are still times when I feel sad about the 11 weeks I missed out on, and wonder what things would've felt like had I gone to term. nbsp;The feelings were more intense for a brief period in the beginning, but they gradually diminished and aren't as strong now, but they're still there. nbsp;Hang in there, and if things get really bad you can always talk to your OB and see if they can help you through the emotions.

Well said. Like pp I felt better as my due date came and went but I still have belly envy and wonder what those weeks would've been like. I had an easy pregnancy and loved being pregnant until bam... It was over and he was here. I walked around putting my hand on my belly for the longest time. Forgetting he wasn't there then crying when I remembered. I still think about the weeks I missed.

Hugs

ahollo02 · November 2012

Thank you ladies. It helps knowing I am not the only one. I had a good pregnancy. And I don't feel jipped but I do feel like I missed out on the last part. I Came home from the hospital and brought out the baby books I read everynight and had to skip to the postpartum chapter so I bipased like 100 pages. I don't know why but that was hard for me.

I feel like it will be easier when she comes home. Right now, my husband had to go back to work and I have to count on people taking me back and forth to the hospital. It wasent supposed to be like this. He was supposed to go back to work leaving me home changing all the diapers and feeding her all by myself. It's just not what I had pictured for the last couple months.

I would say having an emergency c-section added to missing the bump. Everything happened so quick. No labor, no time to think. One hour I was rubbing my belly and the next I was in recovery without a baby.

MinaE01 · November 2012

I totally know the feeling. I am still dealing with it, as I should be 36 weeks today. The feeling has diminished with time (as PP said) but I think I'll always feel a little sad about the 8 weeks I lost. I'm already excited to get pregnant again because I miss it so much.

Hope your LO is doing well!

Jeep Doll · November 2012

I felt the same way and still do. I can't even look at my weekly bump photos right now. While the girls were in NICU, DH and I went out to eat and I felt really weird and guilty eating in a restaurant while we had newborns. I wanted to be "trapped" at home with babies instead of out to eat while they were in NICU. Feelings while being a NICU mom and still being a preemie mom are so hard and no one understands except for other preemie moms.

I think it might be a while before I can leave the girls alone with anyone but DH. Not because I don't trust anyone enough to watch/babysit them, but I feel like I missed out on bonding time with them while they were in NICU and want to have as much time with them as I can right now.

Sorry to hijack your post! I wanted to say I understand your feelings.

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