Babies: 0 - 3 Months

sometimes I wish I hated my job...

I have a few more weeks of maternity leave left and I am dreading the thought of leaving ds with a nanny.  I get so jealous sometimes of people who know without a doubt that being a sahm is worth any sacrifice - or those people who earn an amount that doesn't make sense for them to work and pay day care.  I earn more than dh and while we don't necessarily need both incomes, it would mean giving up A LOT to leave just on his salary.  Also, I like my job - don't LOVE it - but like it a lot most days.  The company is great, the work is fun, and the hours are pretty good (I have to work 5 days a week but am home by 5:30 most days.  Plus,. the maternity benefits and retirement benefits can't be beat.  In a nutshell, as my dh tells me, I would be crazy to leave this job.  But I can't help wondering  if I will be one of those people who looks back and says I wish I had spend t more time at home when my kids were young...why can't I have my cake and eat it too??? Guess I just needed to whine....thanks for listening...

Re: sometimes I wish I hated my job...

  • I'm in the same place! ?Only I'm going back to work on Monday :( ?It's like I can't reconcile the 2 aspects of my life. ?I am truly passionate about my job and love the people I work with. ?But I also love DS more than I could have ever imagined and the thought of him being less than completely comfortable or crying at all for the babysitter tears me up. ?I can't think about the 2 simultaneously. ?It doesn't help that DH keeps reminding me that I can take more time if I want to and that it makes it easier during the day when he's missing DS to know that he's with me. ?But, my job is very technical, and I get nervous the longer I'm away. ?And I'm just not sure that it would be any easier to leave him the older he gets. ?Ugh, before DS was born it seemed like such a no-brainer- I get so stir crazy being off work I thought for sure I'd be itching to go back at the end of my leave. ?Turns out, not so much :(
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  • Totally understand.  I don't return to work until January but I have the same thoughts and feelings.  Staying at home is not an option for me.  Mostly because I love working, the company I work for and the great lifestyle that having both of our incomes allows.  But I also couldn't stand the thought of leaving DS with a daycare/nanny.  In fact, we went to check out one daycare and I left crying.  So we are moving my mother closer to take care of DS when I go back to work.  Obviously this is not a solution that would work for everyone, but it seemed to be the only one I could come to terms with and she is beyond excited.  Plus paying her rent, medical expenses, etc is cheaper than a nanny would be so we both win!
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