Any tips for when he comes home — The Bump
Military Families

Any tips for when he comes home

from deployment?  The day is getting closer.  I'm so excited!  Does anyone have any tips?  What was it like for you?  Was there anything special you did when he came back? 
Adrian 7.6.07 - ADHD, Disruptive Behavior Disorder, Learning Disability-NOS
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder

Re: Any tips for when he comes home

  • Can you take a few days for just the two of you? That was really good for DH. It gave him time to rest and ease back in to being a dad. (DS was only a month when DH left, so he hadn't had much time to be a dad anyway.)

    Give him space, and give him time. Don't expect him to jump right into things.

    We've only been through one, so I'm sure other ladies have more/better advice.

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  • Have someone take pictures, if you can.  I really love our homecoming pictures.  We laid low for the first day or two that he was home.  DD2 was fine with daddy right away, but it took DD1 a couple of hours to remember that daddy is a lot of fun.  DD1 is a total daddy's girl, so I thought she would run to him (instead, she clung to me like a koala).  DH was pretty tired, so I'm glad that I had planned on us doing dinner at home the first night.  

    Glad the end is near for you!  

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  • Remain patient and keep communication open. If you can talk to him before he comes home ask what his expectations are when he gets home.  Also take things slow.  We tried to do too much in the beginning (went out to the movies and he only lasted 20 mins in the theater before the anxiety got the better of him).

    I also 2nd the photographer.  I love our homecoming pics!

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  • Dont be surprised if things feel different for a while, DH and I had three deployments in just as many years, got married shortly after the first, and got pregnant shortly after the third, it added unexpected stress to our relationship. We planned both the pregnancy and the wedding while he was deployed, and he felt just a bit rushed back into life when he got home, I didn't expect him to feel that way. give him time, you've been patiently waiting for his return, and you are used to living your life, but he is changing everything from the people surrounding him to his environment, it may take him a little while to get back in the swing of things.

    As far as what I do, I've bought a new dress for each homecoming, DH is very visual, so I will describe it to him little by little for a few weeks before he gets home, and then he finally gets the full picture when he finally sees me. I also ask him what food he's missed the most while he's been gone, and i make sure to stock the fridge with everything he's missed the most, and make his favorite when he gets home. 

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