Drowsy but awake?

Tweets06 · November 2012

Hello all,

Do you put your LOs to sleep drowsy but awake (and then walk away)? My pedi recommended it, but it usually just results in angry screaming which is quickly eroding my well being.... particularly since I know that I can go in there and fix it for her. So, how does it work with attachment parenting? Do you soothe them to sleep and then leave them in bed by themselves? I'm just curious to see what options are out there. TIA!

T

twocents6708 · November 2012

I am not much help here. I have always wondered what it would be like to be able to Do that : We have tried on a few occasions to do that but it has never worked. DD has to be nursed and or rocked to sleep at night. She always fights sleep including naps so it can be a challenge. I have had several people not APers recommend letting her CIO but we don't wish to do that. Honestly, if you have a sleep/ bedtime arrangement that works for you, just go with what works best for your family. I made peace with rocking DD to sleep each night. Although there are nights when I think I have tons to do but it is nice to be forced to relax. And she will only be little for a short while. DH loves to rock with her for naps because its the only cuddles he gets from her now that she is such a busy body!

KateLouise · November 2012

I could do this with DD1, and she would happily just go tot sleep BUT, I worked with her from when she was tiny of rocking her till drowsy and then standing and patting her to sleep. If she got upset, I'd pick her up and soothe her, and then start over. as she got older I could put her down more and more awake,and pat her less and less. It got to the point where I could pop her in her cot, give her a kiss and walk away. I always returned if she got upset and never left her to cry.

With DD2, I've always had a 2yr old interrupting me when settling her to sleep, so I've rocked her to sleep a lot more often, and she's not had a dedicated sleep routine. But I've still patted her to sleep in her cot as often as practical, and I can generally leave her when she's mostly drifting to sleep but not completely asleep. Sometimes I can leave her while her eyes are still open. I basically just keep trying, and return as needed. I figure one day she'll work out that bed/sleep are ok and Mum comes back if she needs her.

skibunny59 · November 2012

I just started doing it for the past 4 nights and my DD is doing great with it. I used to nurse her to sleep and then transfer her to her crib fully asleep. Now, I nurse her but don't let her fall asleep. I put her in her crib and I sing to her and comfort her until she falls asleep. I don't walk away. I stay by her crib the whole time until she falls asleep. She has not cried yet with me doing this. Sometimes she will fuss for a bit. She is 7.5 months old. I would try staying by your LO until she falls asleep. Also, I wanted to add that we did try doing this 2 months ago and it did not work so we stopped for awhile and now she is ready.

PurpleDrewbie5 · November 2012

I'm not sure how old your little one is but I was not able to do this with mine until at least 8months. I would nurse her to sleep and put her down before then. After awhile I moved to nursing her until right before she fell asleep (talking like second here.) Then until she was just lightly drowsy. It took awhile before it worked fully. Occasionally she would/still does cry (no more than 5min) but most of the time she just rolls over and goes to sleep. I no longer nurse before naps but I still do before bedtime and during the night.

She also knows what all done means so when I say it she'll usually unlatch and and roll into my arms so I can pick her up and put her in her bed. I think "drowsy but awake" is a great thing to aim for but it doesn't always work. A sleeping baby is better than a screaming one and if nursing/soothing to sleep are what it takes and what works there is nothing wrong with that.

tjkdlhb · November 2012

That's what I usually do with DD... if she starts to cry I will pick her up and nurse her a bit more because (for her) it usually means that she is still hungry. Most of the time she is content to go to sleep and sometimes she fusses a bit. If it turns to crying I always pick her up. She has a relatively laid back personality though.

blu-eyedwife · November 2012

I wasn't able to do this for naps until my guy was around 4/5months and we introduced a naptime "routine" which involved swaddling. Once we stopped swaddling, drowsy but awake also stopped - at home at least. At daycare they've always been able to just pull out a cot for him and he'd crawl up on it and go right to sleep. At home, it's still really easy for naps, a quick rocking/lullabye and he's out, so it's never been a huge issue.

He's 13 months old, and last night was the first time I could put him down awake for bed - not even drowsy, and he just put himself to sleep after playing with his toys and chatting to himself for a bit.

TiffanyBerry · November 2012

In her 2.5years, my daughter has never just gotten into bed and let me walk away. Talk about complete and total meltdown. I nursed her to sleep for a very long time, then when she stopped nursing to sleep, I would stay until she fell asleep. Then, when that was taking over an hour, I would stay for a little while (10-15 minutes), and then leave, but come back and stay a few more minutes if she called me - first right away, then after a set amount of time but for as many times as she wanted ,then after a set amount of time and only for a set number of times after which I would pop in but not stay. Now, I nurse her 10 minutes a side, stay another 10-15minutes, and then leave to take the dog on a walk and give my husband the monitor. It's been a slow progress just to here, but it's "worked" for us.

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