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Kitty1121
member
Help !! Reveal party rant. Sorry kinda long
Kitty1121
member
in Baby Showers
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/69946304.aspx
This is my post on my monthly board. Any help is appreciated, I can't cancel the party. Everyone is super excited since this is the first baby in long time. Plus, it's a first time grandparents on both sides.
thank you
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Re: Help !! Reveal party rant. Sorry kinda long
I can't get the ticker to work, but I have two sons:
Baby RJ, born 1/25/2014
Formerly Twilightmv
OK, I get that they are excited, but like PP said, if you don't stand your ground and start building some boundaries now, you never will. You and your husband are adults, however, you are allowing your families to tell you what to do. Say no, end of story. What is really getting to me is in the other thread, you say they all want to come to your u/s appointment and your only reaction is ugh, like it's going to happen because it's what they want. If you don't learn to stand up for yourself now, these people are going to be telling you how to raise your child. Sac up (seems to be my favorite phrase today, but it's appropriate).
It really bugs me when people use the "it's the 1st grandchild on both sides" as an excuse to let their parents run roughshod over their lives. Guess what, Li is the first grandchild on both sides in our family, too. We made it very clear that we are her parents and everything is our decision, that included decisions being made while I was pregnant (which included hands off the belly). Did everyone like it, no, but, it's not their call. Their job is to spoil the heck out of her, but if DH and I say no, that is the way it is, no questions asked.
If you don't want this party, stop aiding in it. Stop making a guest list, don't go to "meetings", tell them you don't want it and aren't going to go. This is your life, you have a say in it.
This. If you don't deal with it now, it'll only get worse once LO arrives.
On a side note, I can't even begin to wrap my mind around 65 people attending a gender reveal.
This! Wowza.
I absolutely agree with your thought too about telling people you couldn't find out, or that you're team green, etc.
My little man at 0-1-2
Oh my goodness. You must stop this nonsense right now. Sixty five people coming, to a gender reveal party ? Please just sit back and think about how ridiculous that is. Sixty-five people being invited to an event where you reveal what is between your baby's legs. Then on top of that all those people inviting themselves to the ultrasound.
Sweetie, you are gonna be a momma soon, so you need to find that inner momma bear and find your backbone. You simply can't be letting everyone push into something you don't want. Sure, sure today it is a dumb gender reveal party for 65 people, tomorrow these people will think they have a say in what to name your child, then a say in how the nursery is decorated, then who will be in the delivery room, then it will be who will be staying at your home after the baby is born, then it will be the baptism, then it will be the holidays. Trust me, TRUST ME, you must nip this behavior in the bud NOW. Just rip it off like a bandaid. If not, well then you are teaching them that you are a pushover and can be manipulated into doing something you don't want to do in order to avoid making waves. It will only get worse.
Now as far as the party is concerned, I would have each of your talk to your respective families and tell them that you both thought about it and decided that no one will be invited to the ultrasound. Thank them for their time and effort that they had put into the party, but after thinking about it more, you just weren't comfortable with a gender reveal party. Then stand firm. They will be upset, but that is ok. They are allowed to be disappointed about the party, but that doesn't mean you should waiver in your decision.
I really need to work on standing up for myself and what I want. I haven't been good on that and I am kind of a pushover when it comes to some things. I'm just trying not to bring more stress during my pregnancy that is not needed. I'm going to give them the guest list of 65 people which includes my family, DH's family and a few super close friends. DH has a very big family. I am going to put my soon to be mamma pants on and let them handle it !! If I have to bring out the crazy hormones I will !! Lol
No one except DH and myself will be in the room during the u/s. Well us and the tech !!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'd be more likely to compare it to "they'll give your baby rice cereal" or "they'll smoke around your baby". If someone told me how to decorate my nursery (which, ironically enough, was never actually decorated at all) I'd just roll my eyes and tell them if they felt that strongly, they could buy all of the stupid decorations. Nursery decoration is not the end of the world. Whereas someone trying to imply that their opinion was more important than yours and feeding my infant cereal because they thought they "needed it" when I wasn't looking, would be a much bigger issue to me.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
tell them you don't want one! thats it. It is your baby and therefore your choice. If you do not put your foot down now then get use to situations like this.
If you feel bad about cancelling all together, then tell them that you only want immediate family and not the extended family and friends.