Rebelling 7 yr old

Re: Rebelling 7 yr old

• fellesferie member

  November 2012

  Kids don't know why they rebel/backtalk/act out. My eldest is 7. He tests boundaries, acts out to get attention, and ... well, sometimes he just doesn't want to do xyz. 

  I do think your husband should consider telling your stepson's mom that he supports her, but she needs to be able to enforce the rules in her home.  

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• +just+j+ member

  November 2012

  This is normal. He's learning to play him mom, and she's probably not handling it the best way. 

  The only thing I can advise you and your H to do is to support her and tell him that he needs to follow his mother's rules while he is in her home and that it's unacceptable to disrespect and behave like that.

  Do you have different rules?  And would it hurt to work with her and have some of the same rules so that he has consistency between homes?  I'm not saying you have to adopt all of her rules, but maybe you both can discuss some of the key things he's playing and see if you can't nip it.

  If he knows that you both are all working together...he may realize hit fits and manipulation isn't going to work.

  One more thing:  It will get worse before it gets better. I promise you, he will step up his game when his tricks stop working. He will come up with new ways to test his mother. 

   

  "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval

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• Holly_1007 member

  November 2012

  she needs to grow some balls and deal with her kid! perhaps you, DH, BM, and SF can sit down without SS and come up with a game plan. 

  go the route of a reward chart for good behavior, and removal of an item for bad behavior.  

  set simple rules:

  1. treat everyone with respect. no yelling, name calling, hitting, etc
  

  2. treat other peoples property with respect, ask before using, don't break it, return in same condition as borrowed

  3. do all homework on time

  etc. etc. you get the idea.

  then when he breaks a rule something is taken away: tv time, internet time etc

  when he follows all the rules for a few days he can have one of his taken away items returned

  hopefully you can communicate with BM so that if he is bad and loses is tv privileges at BM's house you would follow through and not allow him to watch TV at your house.  
  

                         
                        
  
  

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• twister22 member

  November 2012

  DH should not be called to mediate. BM is teaching SS that she has no real authority and that DH is more of a parent. DH needs to tell BM that she needs to set rules and boundaries in her home, and she needs to get SS to follow them. Giving DH updates and having him co-parent in major issues is one thing, but having DH do all the parenting/discipline on even the small stuff is another.

  
  

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