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Any positive stories?

hashtag14hashtag14
in Blended Families
Hello all. I've been browsing the board for a while contemplating asking this question. A little background: DH has 2 teens, 16 (lives with us) and 19 (away at college) from his previous marriage. This is my first marriage, no previous children. Currently 8 weeks pregnant with our first together. In discussing how to tell our families we've decided it's best for him to tell both kids before we tell anyone else. I'm nervous about how they'll react simply because they're teenagers and by nature unpredictable. Adding to the mix, their mom lives across the country and doesn't make much effort to keep in touch with either of them and I don't want them to feel like their relationships with DH will suffer with all these changes. Does anyone have an encouraging tale where teenaged SS/SD reacted positively to news of your pregnancy? 
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Re: Any positive stories?

  • kali55kali55 member
    We made SDs aware of our desire to have a child well before I ever got pregnant.  They were always very excited for a sibling.  When we told them, they didn't really get it and still didn't get it until DS arrived.  Once he was here, they were absolutely in love with him.  DS's arrival actually changed the dynamic of our blended family, as BM consented to a 50/50 schedule and a reduction in child support and moved into our neighborhood so her daughters could spend more time with their little brother.  Right now they are actually asking us to bring another baby home 


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  • hashtag14hashtag14
    Thank you both! It's nice to hear that they might be excited. I have a feeling DH telling them will bring a range of emotions, and I understand any negative feelings likely won't be based in reason (just good old teenaged angst and insecurity), so that makes me feel better as weel. Thank you both for sharing!
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  • +just+j++just+j+ member

    You want positive stories, so I won't even bother telling you mine, but I will say this:

    If you and DH have a good relationship with the girls, it will be fine. 

    Don't make a big fuss about it. Don't wring your hands and stew over it.  Don't fuss over them.  Just tell them as you would in any happy family and it will be fine.  Then take their lead and deal with things as they come to light.

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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  • sarah62584sarah62584 member

    Positive story!

    My SS is 13 years old and he was so excited to hear of my pregnancy. He has 2 half brothers on his mom side so when we told him (through a colored cupcake of course) that he was having a sister he was sooo excited! He said "I have always wanting a sister and I am going to be one of those protective big brothers!" Too cute!  I work with families all the time and am aware of potential blended family issues, but so far so good. You sound like you are aware of the potential problems and that is sometimes the best you can do.  BTW...my LO is was born 2 days before his birthday. He just asked that I didn't have her on his birthday. :)




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  • lily_721lily_721 member

    My SSs are 18 and 16.  We told them as soon as we got the positive results from the doctor.  It was pretty much "cool, what's for dinner?"  We had a few more extended conversations about how important they were in our lives and this wasn't going to change our love for them, etc.  Response:  "duh." 

    Boys have been fantastic.  One of them goes food shopping with me each week and carries in and puts away the majority of the food.  The boys handle all the household cleaning now so that I don't touch any chemicals.  Although I could do some vacuuming, they decided that it was easier to do it themselves.  SS1 now drives SS2 home from work so that I can sleep. 

    SS1 gave me his part-time job discount so I could use it to buy a crib.  His words.

    I asked them recently if they felt their lives changed since we told them we were having a baby.  Their answer:  "you don't make us eat vegetables anymore."  Lol.  Veggies look super gross to me right now and I have been staying away from them.

    They have "decided" that we are a "boy family" so the new baby will be a boy as well.  SS2 said "its ok that you are going to have a baby, you are still our mom too." 

    We have had the boys full time for about two years.  BM is very inactively involved.  In general, we don't talk about the baby very much.  Maybe five minutes once a week. 

    together since 2006
    full time stepmom to SS1 and SS2 since 2010
    married since 2011

    TTC since 7/2011 (no planned bc since 2008)
    HSG 11/2011: one blocked tube
    S/A 2/2012 and retest S/A 3/2012: normal
    Bloodwork: normal
    2nd HSG 5/2012: clear
    Femara cycle 5mg #1 7/14/12 + IUI #1 7/23/12 = bfn
    New RE appt 8/14/12
    IVF #1 meds 8/30/12. ER 9/14/2012: 7 retrieved, 6 fertilized. ET 9/19/12: 1 perfect embryo 5dt.
    Beta #1 BFP! 97
    Beta #2 234
    Beta #3 4937
    ultrasound #1 heart beat 127
    10/20/12 graduated!!!
    EDD 6/7/12
    Team PINK!!

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