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Multiples
To find out sexes or not to find out
What did you do? These two will be our 2nd & 3rd babies and we're debating whether or not to find out. I don't want to find out and DH does. He's worried that if one or both babies are boy(s) we won't be prepared. My take is all we really need is boy clothes. Everything else we have from DD is gender neutral.
I want that moment in the delivery room where the doctor says it's a ..., but I don't know if it's all that great. We found out with DD and I liked knowing the whole time I was PG, but I want to experience the opposite.
My other concern is that we will need to come up with four sets of names and I think that may be hard to agree on.
So, did you find out? If you have more than the twins/triplets/quads, did you find out with the other pregnancy?
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Re: To find out sexes or not to find out
We found out. I am not a "wait until the birth" person. It was a wonderful special moment when we found out in the doctor's office, and I immediately felt like I knew them better and was more connected to them and more excited, and that lasted for the rest of the pregnancy. There are enough mysteries with a pregnancy for my taste
I also think that if you have even the smallest preference for one gender over the other (or with twins, for having a mixed set), it's better to find out early on so you have that time to get used to the idea and get excited about what you are having. That was not the case with us, but it happens.
I didn't want to find out but DH was dying to... so I gave in as that was the number 1 thing he wanted to know.
As for the names if you stay team green, you could always just have 1 boy and 1 girl name ready and not worry about the 2nd name until you need to... that was what DH and I did until he insisted on finding out. That way you aren't stressing/worrying about a name you won't need...
We're having twins and chose to find out. We are planners and these will be my only babies so I wanted to be able to be prepared when they get here and not be trying to shop after or having what turned out to be a boy and girl using all gender neutral colored stuff (although that would've saved us a lot of money! lol).
FInding out their sexes at our 20w u/s was a surprise...enough of a surprise, I would not have wanted to wait until they're born especially with more than one.
Could you have the Dr look at the sexes while doing their anatomy scans and not tell you until you choose to find out...if you do go that route?
I thought about waiting to find out this time. Actually I even debated finding out if one was a boy and that was all I wanted to know. Since I already had a girl I wanted to know if one was a boy so I could buy clothes ahead of time and then the other would be a surprise. I know, roll your eyes at me, it was a crazy idea and my husband thought I was joking so I let it go.
In all honesty I'm glad we found out. I was so sure it was a boy/girl set for some reason that I would have been shocked in the delivery and it might have taken some getting used to. I wasn't sad to have two boys or anything, just totally not expecting it for some reason.
we were going to be team green with our twins and honestly it was super hard not knowing. I was having issues bonding to them and felt so disconnected from the babies and had to find out. once we did I felt so much better. we were able to pick out names and get things ready for them. i am happy we did find out.
TTC since 2005
missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
3 failed femara iui cycles-
moving on to IVF oct 2011
ER nov. 7th
tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
lots of +hpt!!
beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
another miscarriage 12/23
moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
ET 4/28 3 transfered
Beta #1- 356
Beta #2- 870
I actually think the opposite. I knew DH really wanted a boy (altho of course first and foremost he wanted healthy babies)...but from the moment he saw them and said "it's a girl!" he was in love and didn't have even a moment to dwell on gender disappointment with 2 perfect bundles of baby in his arms...
we would not find out if we try for baby #3 in the future either. almost everything we have is gender neutral since we didn't find out the first time.
We decided to find out for a couple of reasons.
1. My SO really wanted to know and I thought it might help her bond easier with the babies before they arrived. I thought she was going to be so upset to learn it was two boys as she really wanted a girl but now they are her boys this and her boys that. Now she talks to them all the time by their names, will talk about all the things she is going to teach them and she reads to them. I think she would have bonded no matter the sex but if we would have waited I don't think she would be this bonded while still in my tummy.
2. I didn't have a strong preference either way and as these will be our only children I wanted the experience of the doctor showing us on the u/s screen and that moment to ourselves finding out.
If by some miracle we decide to have another one, highly unlikely, then I will probably go team green.
06/12 - BFP!!!!
Beta #1 15dpo - 256
Beta #2 18dpo - 1097
6wk U/S on 07/02 ~ TWINS!!!
EDD 02/21/13
09/10/12 Found out it's two Boys!!!! Sam and Jake
Jacob and Samuel born 1/29/13 at 36 weeks.
we didn't find out. i don't think the "practical" arguments hold a lot of weight. i mean, babies don't care what they're wearing or what their room looks like. if you already have gender-neutral stuff, you're all set. and whatever you have, you'll get a ton of baby clothes as gifts when they're born.
that said, if i had another kid, i'd totally find out ahead of time.
(ps i am not having any more kids, ha ha)
How to tell my boys apart
The different types of twins and triplets
Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
My blog * We made the national news!
We are team green! We did not find out with our 2 boys either. It is such an amazing moment in the delivery room when they tell you what the sex is. The doctors were even taking bets. Now it is double the surprise! Can't wait. If we have a girl then we will just start to acquire girly stuff as we go. We have all gender neutral stuff for the beginning.
With DD we waited for it to be a surprise, with the boys we found out. The doctor actually blurted it out at a 13 week ultrasound, we were undecided about being team green at that point.
Having done both, for me it was so much better to wait for that special surprise. Other people were frustrated with us not finding out. But once we made the choice it wasn't very hard for us to wait.
We didn't find out the sexes of our twins. We were 100% prepared for their arrival despite not knowing and after they were born people bought us tons of gender specific clothes, gear and toys.
I wanted my husband to announce their sexes in the delivery room and that moment is probably the most memorable and special moment of my life. I highly recommend team green! GL!
ETA: We did come up with 4 names and it really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
We found out. At first we wanted to be team green, but the idea of not knowing until birth messed with my anxiety, so we ended up finding out. I still regret not holding off until birth.
I don't know, I think that moment of the Dr announcing the sex would be an awesome and special moment. But maybe it's the same feeling and moment at finding out at the A/S? Doesn't seem that much different. It's just as much of a surprise at any week of pregnancy.
We didn't find out with either of our boys and hearing MH announce "It's a boy!" is something I will always remember.
I never thought I would want to find out ahead of time, however that all went out the window once I was told it's twins. We plan to find out since 1) we have already had a lot of surprise this time around and 2) I think it will help us prepare DS1 for what we are about to get into. MH has toyed with the idea of not finding out, and I know we could do it and it wouldn't be a big deal (like others said, the "planning" argument doesn't fly with me. We will have carseats and neutral clothes and our moms will inundate us with pink/blue once they get here) but it just makes so much sense to me this time around to find out next month instead of waiting. I think it will help me bond, too, since I'm still getting used to the idea that there are two of them in there.
We found out and I'm very glad that we did. We already had 2 girls (singletons) and were plesantly surprised to be finding out we were having boys. So it gave us time to get rid of the girl clothes we no longer needed and get the "boy" clothes we did. Although we would have had to get clothes anyways as our daughters are summer babies and the boys were born in February. So now we only needed to figure out 2 sets of names.
We also found out with both girls as well.
TTC #1 since May 2010. BFP #1 - 5/31/10; m/c on 7/22/10
Started seeing RE in August 2011
5 IUIs: BFN; IVF #1 - Success! BFP - 7/25/12
We LOVE not knowing! I won't tear down other people's reasons for finding out but I can say that I am totally a "Type A" person and a "planner" and have had lots of fun not knowing.
As for gender-specific clothing, etc - I've made 2 lists on Amazon of cute gender specific things I love... 1 for "boy" and 1 for "girl" so when we know their genders we just have to click "purchase" and with our Prime membership those things will probably be at our door before we ever make it home from the hospital. Plus, I just know family and friends aren't going to be able to resist getting them stuff like that once they're here. For us it is a non-issue.
People tell us all the time how exciting it is that we aren't finding out (we get a lot of high-fives).
We have had 0 problems bonding with the babies. We've given them little nicknames and love the idea that we're not attributing a certain behavior to being a boy or a girl and think it will be fun to find out later.
The technology to find out the genders early isn't that old... past generations didn't know ahead of time what they were having and were just fine. We had fun figuring out the different name combinations and dreaming of who we're going to meet.
Do whatever makes you happy but I just wanted to let you know that not only is it totally possible - it's a lot of fun!
We found out...in fact I had a surprise ultrasound at 14 wks. The tech could absolutely tell the sex of baby B (boy) and thought A was a boy too. At that point we had a boy name picked out so baby B got that name. 2 wks later we found out A was in fact a boy so we picked out a name for him. From that point on it was nice to be able to know their names while getting to know their individual personalities. A was much more active...kicking, in my ribs, hiccups. B was way more relaxed and alway measured bigger. Funny thing is they are still that way today. For me it was nice getting to know them with a name attached to each baby pre-birth.
Plus it helped in the hospital when they almost gave them the wrong names on their birth certificate. When the ultrasound tech gave them the "A" "B" label they were side by side, neither was closer to the exit. When they were born the baby closest to the exit is baby A. So upon birth Baby B became Baby A. Very confusing I know. Since we had already named them we knew who was bigger so when they came in to make the birth certificate information official they had them mixed up. We only caught it because we knew who was bigger.
To each their own. I think it's easier to find out.