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Natural Birth
ahcantrell90
member
Anyone else experiencing this? *small rant*
ahcantrell90
member
Everyone has opinions, and I understand this. But it seems the whole "Natural birth outside of hospital? No you need to go to the hospital and get drugs" advice is starting majorly. I try to nod and just let them talk, but it's starting to get on my nerves big time. I don't tell women who want a medicated hospital birth they're crazy, so why can't I have the same respect?
Has anyone else experienced this?
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Re: Anyone else experiencing this? *small rant*
I think you would have trouble finding someone who hasn't experienced this. Two things first, try your best not to discuss your birth plan. If someone asks you might say something like, "We'll see what the day brings..." or something to the effect.
Secondly, and I'm not there yet either, but you just have to learn to let it roll right off of you. Being a mother you will find that this is the first of many tidbits of unwelcome advice you will be given, you just can't let it get to you. Easier said than done I know!
I've experienced that a little bit but I honestly had a lot of people (even random people) volunteer natural or intervention free birth stories to me.
A bar tender at the airport actually told me all about having her children and how her labors went so fast she barely had time to get to the hospital. She was very positive about the fact that no matter how hard it is, it's worth your child and whatever experience you get is simply the last step before getting to hold your new baby. It was totally unsolicited and really stuck with me as a very positive outlook on birth.
I actually never did, but here in NZ epidurals purely for pain relief aren't as common as they seem to be in America.
FWIW I think you're taking a very sensible approach to childbirth and that you absolutely can achieve what you want (I equally think it's fine if you change your mind in labour). I've had two fantastic natural births.
I do agree with pp that you could consider who you discuss your birth plan with, and that now you're a Mum you will get endless amounts of unsolicited advice.
Try and hangout with like-minded people, even if that just means checking in with this board more often, when you need a boost.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Heh, it's for exactly this reason that I haven't (and won't) discuss this with my MIL at all until we're done. I've found a great practice of Midwives (Nurse Practitioners), who deliver at a hospital nearby. I live in NYC, where C-section rates are OUT OF CONTROL, but this practice has a rate of 8% (vs. 40% for the hospital as a whole).
My MIL and SIL both had c-sections for both of their kids, and are very pro-medical establishment (though my SIL's first C-section wasn't planned). I frankly think they'll freak out at even the mention of the word "midwife," so all I've said is that my dr's office is right near the hospital, etc., with no details.
My mother, on the other hand, had natural births in the hospital, and was a la leche league member and all that back in the early 80s when even breastfeeding was kind of ignored. She's going to be there, and help me, which is really exciting.
...now I just need to hang on for another 7 months while I wait for this little nugget to finish cooking!
Oh, yes, I have experienced this... and I'm on my 3rd natural birth. I even get slack for my previous 2! I find it irritating because we're doing things the way nature intended and get looked down upon, while those who use unnecessary medicine are not. It just seems backwards. I once received a comment from a woman who had epidurals that 'others go natural just because it gives them a high.' Wait, what?! Meanwhile, it would be politically incorrect for me to criticize someone for getting an epidural. I think this is just another example of what life in the US is. It's similar to the 'backwardness' we experience with breastfeeding and disciplining our children.
Bite your tongue, it doesn't go away. Be the bigger person. Just know that there are others with the same belief as you and that on the worldly spectrum, you're still in the majority.
I apologize if I offended anyone. I try not to judge others by their decisions, but expect the same in return.
Good luck and keep your head up!
My FIL had a minor conniption, in his way, over the fact that there would be no continuous fetal monitoring at our birth center. I brought it up to my midwife with my H present, so that the two of us could learn exactly how to frame the reasons that intermittent monitoring is done instead.
I haven't gotten any push-back over my decision to go natural, but I did get some timely advice from an aunt the last time I wanted to go natural. She said, be open to plans changing, that it isn't a failure on your part if you do need something. I almost cried when she said it. It really struck a nerve. I realized that I had a very rigid and narrow view of what was acceptable for me, and that my fears of the medical interventions had taken over. I had to come to peace with the possibility that it wouldn't go my way. It was a good thing I listened.
FYI - We are not having a home birth, and were at no point ever planning too. She just figured the day we told her was a good time to tell us we "aren't aloud" lol.