When does the anxiety get better?

milwaukeej · November 2012

I posted a little about this a while ago but I'm still struggling a lot. I have this constant feeling of anxiety when I'm home with Baby. I can't relax, I feel like I have to always be ready to do something for her. Even if I try to tell myself that there's no need to feel this way, it doesn't help.

When anyone is over helping and then leaves, that feeling gets 100x worse - like I'm on my own again.

Our girl is 5 1/2 weeks now and has been home for almost 2 weeks. I caught up on sleep this weekend when my mom had her sleep over Friday night and Saturday night. I thought getting sleep would help, and I feel better physically, but the anxiety is still strong as ever. It's driving me batty, I hate this feeling! I just want to be able to relax and enjoy my newborn.

Suzanne68 · November 2012

I suffer from anxiety and know how you feel. It got better for me at about 3 months but she had reflux so it was harder. I would maybe address it with your Dr if you have never had anxiety before. There is postpartum anxiety and not many people know about it. I had no help since my mom was sick and husband works a ton. So long days! I would try to focus on the positive, healthy baby, how blessed you are etc. Just know you are doing everything great and keep telling yourself that. Try to get outside for walks, fresh air. If you can join a mom group or a baby class that may help also ( there were none by me for that age). I know how sick you can feel from anxiety so I really feel for you. I have dealt with severe anxiety all my life, if you need to ask anything private/or vent my email is suzannev68@msn.com. I would def talk to your Dr about how you are feeling. Best of luck.

morgs8384 · November 2012

Mine started with DS#1 and was more on the lines of at night freaking out thinking I was hearing noises and someone was breaking in to kill us and our baby... yea it was GREAT. It didn't go away until we installed a security system, and has been a lot better ever since.

octbride1234 · November 2012

I am sorry you are going through this. Its so hard to say when it will get better or what will make it better because is different for everone. For me I found rest and exercise helps me with my anxiety. It is hard to be well rested with an infant but getting help from family so you can catch up on some sleep is great... also when the baby sleeps, you should try to nap or just relax, get into something you enjoy, read a book, watch a movie or work on a hobby. Try to distract yourself when you feel like you are becoming anxious. Exercise is also something that is really important for me when I am feeling anxious. If I can't get to gym, I try to at least get out for a nice walk and get some fresh air or even just go on the treadmill, it really helps me. Some people do breathing techniques to try and calm down. I think you should talk to your doctor for some advice as well.

buffyverrban1 · November 2012

Sorry this is so long....

I think this is something you should definitely bring up to your doctor at your next appointment. I had a lot of anxiety (not about caring for DD, but other reasons, I won't mention because I don't want you to take on my reasons as well). I gave myself until 4 months to work it out on my own, and then I had to get help. It took me another few months to get the courage to go.

I've seen a counsellor 1x/month for 3 months and I feel a lot better and am going to stop going (with her blessing) unless something else comes up. I just needed some tools to help me understand what is happening.

I'll give you a run-down of my "questions" to ask myself

1.) What is happening to me physically - am I pulling away, is my heart racing, am I sweating?
-> This is going to help you identify it before it starts

2.) What am I thinking - sometimes you have to force yourself into what you are thinking and find out what you are actually saying to yourself.
-> What am I saying to myself?
-> Is it true?
-> What would be a "more true" statement?
-> Is it helpful?
-> What would be a "more helpful" statement.

eg.
"I feel like I can't take care of her?"
is it true -> No
what is more true -> I have been taking care of her for 5 weeks. She is fed and clothed and happy. I am meeting all of her needs.
is it helpful -> No
what is more helpful -> I am feeling this anxiety because I want her to have the best always. There will be things I can not fix, but I can help her through anything that does go wrong. I have done this so far by kissing and hugging her. Feeding her and soothing her.

covertxxamour · November 2012

*Lurking*

I would talk to your doctor. I had terrible anxiety/depression after my 1st pregnancy. The doctor put me on medications and within a few days I felt a lot better. There are some meds that are safe for BFing if that's what you're doing as well. But I highly recommend talking to your doctor. Until then, keep your head up. It will get better, I promise.

Kingston54 · November 2012

I think anxiety is largely hormonal. When your hormones regulate, you should find some relief. If you feel like you can't wait - definitely see your doctor.

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