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Natural Birth
ccox42
member
Home birth, who all was in your home?
ccox42
member
Who all was in your home during the labor and delivery? Or who are you planning to have there?
We're planning a home birth, but other than the midwife (and her assistant towards the end) I'm not sure how I feel about anyone else being in the house. I plan to deliver in our bedroom and set up the birthing pool in there. We could definitely shut our door for privacy, but the kitchen is right outside our room. The living room is a little more separated though. The more I think about it I would like to have my mother or sister, and possibly my MIL there to help out, but I just don't know.
What have you done? Any advice?
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Re: Home birth, who all was in your home?
My husband, the two midwives, and one good friend.
My family all lives on the other side of the country so I couldn't have them there if I wanted them to, but FWIW, I doubt I would want them there anyway...
big brother 5/30/10 * cp 4/27/12 * little sister 2/25/13
I do plan on asking MIL to come over to take care of LO. I'm thinking I will birth upstairs and they can hang out downstairs, or even go to the park or something.
Other than that I don't really want a lot of people around. DH, MW and her assistant will be plenty.
My husband and the two midwives. And me. And the baby when he showed up.
I didn't want spectators. We sent our older son to spend the night with grandparents. Everyone is different, but for us, it was a private moment. I really really didn't want my mom or a friend there (and never even would have considered my MIL. blech. But that's just me). I've never regretted keeping it just us, but again, that's just me.
Three midwives, DH, mom, MIL, SIL, BFF and two sisters. My two boys left the house with FIL.
My only regret with having that many people there was having my birth tub set up in a public area of the house. I had it in our family room thinking it was the place I feel most relaxed in our home and that would be helpful. But I didn't think about how the family room is also in the center of our home and you have to walk through it to get anywhere else. So I never really felt like I had privacy.
With this birth I plan to put the tub in our bedroom so I can escape there for privacy if I want it. The rest of the family can hang out in the family room area and then come back for pushing/when the baby is born. In this new scenario I really don't care who wants to be there. The more the merrier (so long as they make themselves useful and clean something/do some laundry/cook some food while they're waiting)
It was just my husband and me for most of it. Our Doula was there 4 hours before DS arrived (coached us by phone before that). MWs were there about an hour before DS arrived.
I wanted my sister there but my labor had stalled and my Doula and MWs suggested just having DH there and some quiet to get things going again. That worked!
I'm a pretty private persona and like to be alone when under stress. I think not having a lot of people there helped me labor effectively. I was really in the zone and sleeping in between contractions the last few hours.
Here's a timeline:
6am water broke - went into work, then hospital for IV of antiobiotics, then Whole Foods
1pm home - just DH and I
2pm sister arrived
3pm accupuncturist arrived for a 40 min appt
7pm - MWs arrived for antibiotics, labor had stopped, sent sister home, had another round of labor cocktail and went to bed around 9pm
10:30pm - having contractions, let DH sleep and labored on my own
11:30pm - DH got up and helped me labor
2am - Doula arrived
5am - MWs arrived for another round of antibiotics, had a dilation check, complete so they stayed
6am -baby born
6:10am - sister arrived *wanted her there for the birth and she ran over when DH called her that DS was coming but she missed it
Our plan was: me, husband, midwife, mw assistant, doula, birth photographer. DD was tbd, either there or at a neighbors or relatives.
How it happened: me, husband, and then baby. DD asleep upstairs.
MW arrived 5 min post-baby, and everyone else showing up 5-10-20 minutes later.
Things just went steamrolling fast at the end.
Our plan was not to have any family present during labor/delivery. I didn't even want anyone else to know when I was in labor, because I didn't want that feeling of having people waiting on me. In the end, everything went so fast we barely told the midwives in time, ha! (and I only woke up my husband 45 minutes before the birth, when I felt like I needed "a little help.") Not that it was a walk in the park, the last 40 minutes were suuuuper intense.
Husband, midwife and midwife assistant. That was all we wanted.
We didn't even tell our families until 5 hours after DD arrived. Midwives tucked us into bed about 3 hours pp and we took a nap as a family. It was perfect for us.
This sounds absolutely lovely