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April 2013 Moms
lifesadance
member
DH is being ridiculous (re: baby naming)
lifesadance
member
I am getting so tired of my husband being a total whiner and a$$ about baby names. He's being absolutely awful and all because as he says, I got to name our son. Well, not exactly. Last time around we were set on a girl's name and couldn't agree on a boy's name. No big deal as we didn't even know the sex yet but after we found out it was a boy, later that day I was crying (hormones much?) because "my baby would never have a name" since DH was picking atrocious names (Gregory, calling him Gory; Tiberius; and a few other gems). The name I picked out was John, which is my dad's name as well as my grandfather's and my godfather's name. So DH very lovingly said to me, "He has a name. His name is John." That moment meant so much to me and he even chose Reginald for the middle name, which is his grandfather's name, and a second middle name to honor his brother, whom he is very close with and is DS's godfather. I love our son's name. Shortly before I actually had him (couple weeks maybe), DH tells me that he absolutely hates the name John (seriously, who hates that name?) and we had to choose something else. I refused. He was already John to me, as we'd been set on that name for roughly 5 months. DH never fails to tell me how much he hates our son's name and would always say, "I get to name the next one." My thought is that we had agreed on our son's name and came up with it together -- if you really want to get technical, it's 75% DH's because of the 2 middle names and last name.
This baby is supposed to be a girl (80% guess; will have another a/s at 20 weeks) and my husband is being completely ridiculous on names. He is set on Dean. I absolutely hate it (for boy or girl, but especially for a girl) and DH says that doesn't matter because he hates our son's name; I argue that the difference is that I'm telling him now that I hate the name, not a week or two before delivery, and I'm not agreeing to it. He also has chosen such names as: Lucretia, Scout, and Anastasia (calling her "Tasia"). Now I think he's vetoing every name I mention solely because I mention it. We have a few names on a mutual "don't hate list" but it's small and nothing that I would actually want to name my child. He has also vetoed our girl name from last time around, Vivienne Anne, on the basis that I chose it/ it's my grandmother's name. I want to strangle him (I won't).
I keep praying that the sex guess is wrong and that there is a little boy growing inside me. I'm not up for a name battle.
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Re: DH is being ridiculous (re: baby naming)
I'm sorry; we're having difficulty this time as well. Is he serious with the name Dean for a girl? I would just point out to him how much teasing she's going to get with a name like Dean.
Side note: I noticed in the GTKY from the other day that you live in the town where I grew up and went to college. Go Illini!
yikes.
I kinda like Anastasia (you can always call her Ana if you don't like his nickname for her)
Dean is not appropriate for a girl. You can make it Deanna, I know a girl named Deanna after her father (Dean). Um and Scout? Maybe for your next dog, not a daughter.
Is there a place he's coming up with the unusual names? Or is there a meaning behind them? Perhaps he just wants a unique name, so you can keep brainstorming unusual ones you like. John definitely fits in the standard, traditional, family name category, so perhaps he wants a name that purely this child's name, and not want to think of other family members whenever he thinks of his kid? No clue, but definitely see if you can get him to open up about what type of name he wants: unusual, family name, traditional, or any of the above.
Good luck.
I'm glad I'm not the only one having difficulty but then again I'm sad that others are having this difficulty too.
It's so stressful.
It's from To Kill a Mockingbird. He's not even a big fan of that book and I agree it's a dog name, not baby girl. I think he's honestly trying to be difficult. Like, if he comes up with ridiculous names then I'll think Dean is a great option.
He doesn't seem to think teasing will be an issue.
I noticed you too, since we're both Illinois ladies (there don't seem to be many of us on here). My hometown is Algonquin, if you know where that is.
DH and I can't agree on girl names either. If it's a boy we already have a name picked out, so of course it will be a girl lol. (We'll find out on Tuesday though!)
For what it's worth, I love Scout. And I even kind of like Dean for a girl. Maybe you could try for DeAnn? That's my aunt's name...
As for not naming them the same as someone you know, if it's just a casual acquaintance, you won't associate that name with them anymore after the baby is born. It will be your baby's name, not some random, almost stranger's name. (This doesn't work for family and close friends of course, but it does work for that kid you sat next to in English class 6 years ago.)
And for 2 syllables - what about Lucas instead of Luke? Even if you end up calling him Luke day-to-day, you want be calling him Luke Smith most of the time, just Luke. And he could be Lucas Smith for special occasions. (Sorry, I don't know what your last name is. Just an example.)
Wow!! He is being a little spiteful bc of the name battle over your son. Could you two come to an agreement and put names in a hat once you confirm you are actually having a girl?? I like the name Dean for a girl it is unique!!
I agree completely. Gregory is one of my favs, but it's the "Gory" part that I took issue with.
I think you're right, we need to just walk away from it and keep separate lists that we like. Maybe the holidays will make him more open to other, less awful, names. He doesn't have to pick something on my list, I just want reasonable choices from him.
I have a 9yr old from a previous marriage it was very easy process and we agreed more then disagreed. So our issue was more choosing one. That was the only thing we agreed on. I'm divorced now.
However, this time around and being the more hyper of what to do not to do. My boyfriend is much more relaxed too relaxed for me. I was randomly day by day throw names his way. It was creating lots of heated arguments. So I backed up a little let the matter rest. One day he came to me with the longest most pretencious name in history...all I could think of how is this poor child gonna remember the spelling of her name. I just said to him the names are nice...I told him let me see how it sat w me. He was dead set on it.
I told close friend when they would ask what's the baby name there faces no matter how they tried to really be cordial just could not be denied.
I really did try to enjoy it..but it just didn't feel right.
Then one day I was up really late n began writing names down combining them..looking on websites ect.
I came up w four names. I pass them along for him to consider n again no I want.....I convinced him to think of it. Well didn't happen. One day we were having deep convo n yes hormones kicked in and I lost it. I was so emotional and this 6' 290s plus pound intimidating man broke down and felt terrible. He honestly took the time to think over my names of choice although there were 4 I really liked 2
Audrey Grace or Gianna Sofia.
After a few hours he mulled it over and he agreed with Gianna Sofia he liked the sound of it. He also got a kick out of beging able to call her sofie for a nick name..and me its Gia go figure.
I guess what I'm trying to say men don't take things,at times , as seriously as we do. If you just sit down with them express to them how important it is to you and what it means, perhaps he will lighten up and tone down his macho brovado and be more flexable.
Or you can always just let it be and when they ask the for the angels name you spill and he loses again. LOL
I wish you all the best please keep us posted on how it all turns out.
PSS...breath! There is always a solution.
I'm sorry he's being so ridiculous!
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!
As above, I would place this issue on the back burner for a while to let emotions cool down.
Then perhaps you could both come up with a top ten list to see if any overlap, or if any have the same "feel"
Sorry though, it sounds like he's being passive aggressive and just wants to "win"... That's not what naming a baby should be about! Good luck!
So sorry DH is giving you so much attitude! We have been having naming issues, too. My husband wants a junior, although I told him before we were engaged that my boys name was set because I fell in love with it in college. He agreed then & now is set on a Jr. if we have a boy. WITW?!
And, for girls names he is so picky and refuses some of my favorite names, because "I knew a girl named Nina and she was ugly'" or "my elementary school friend named Simone was cross-eyed". SMH!! Lord, help our husbands get it together, LOL!