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Daddy against baby led weaning

clmannclmann
in Attachment Parenting

I've been trying baby led weaning a little bit for a few weeks now giving LO things like banana chunks, fresh avacado, little bits of bread, peach and pear chunks ect. He does okay but he definitely gags a lot. It's scary but he always manages.

This morning I gave him one of those puffs snacks and he gagged a lot and threw up. (I'm guessing he threw up because he had just nursed and the gagging probably brought it up) Well that scared DH a lot and he doesn't want me to continue with BLW anymore. He thinks regular pureed baby food is just fine seeing as his first son, my stepson, ate only those and formula. I'm not saying pureed baby food is bad, it's what LO gets whenever DH is feeding him, but I was really excited to do BLW! 

Have any of you had conflicts on this with your SO's?  

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Re: Daddy against baby led weaning

  • LadyAphLadyAph

    I had this problem with my mother who watched our son while I went to school. She raised on puree and was terrified that he'd choke on BLW.  I realized that her anxiety about his choking could make the whole situation worse.  Plus, she wasn't listening to me about the rules of BLW (such as letting the baby feed himself) and i would find her hand feeding him chunks of food.

    I ended up buying purees (which isn't the end of the world) and feeding him one or two BLW snacks/meals a day when I was there.  DS still got to practice feeding himself, chewing, and swallowing "chunkier" food and my mother didn't stress.

    He's now 10 months old and he eats what we eat, but I still leave purees for her to feed when I'm gone because she's much more comfortable with that. As glad as I am that we did BLW, it's really not worth fighting over.  Even if he learns to eat chunkier food later on, he will probably gag anyway.

    One suggestion, have you guys taken an infant/child CPR class?  Maybe it would make your husband a tad more comfortable if he knew how to identify and what to do in an emergency situation.

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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member

    But, from what I understand, with the "rules" of blw'ing, you wouldn't be offering puffs - they're too small - at this stage.  It would be large, spear sized (like, twice as long as baby's hands), pieces so baby can't get a single whole piece entirely in his/her mouth.  At least, that's how we started.

    I found that if DD was gagging on things a lot, we had to adjust the size/shape we were giving her.

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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member
    Why don't you do BLW when you're around, and DH can do purees? It doesn't have to be all or none.

    Puking can happen with BLW. Can you show him some sites or the book?
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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member
    imageTiffanyBerry:
    But, from what I understand, with the "rules" of blw'ing, you wouldn't be offering puffs they're too small at this stage.nbsp; It would be large, spear sized like, twice as long as baby's hands, pieces so baby can't get a single whole piece entirely in his/her mouth.nbsp; At least, that's how we started.I found that if DD was gagging on things a lot, we had to adjust the size/shape we were giving her.


    On my phone, so I can't see her ticker. OP, how old is your baby? Definitely only feed them big chunks that they can take bites off of, not bitesize pieces. I would think puffs are fine, as they just melt?
    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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  • tslmom87tslmom87 member
    Can you just make the food pieces really small? I was never comfortable feeding dd chunks of food, we always cut everything up real small and gradually made the pieces bigger. She's almost 2 eats just fine and can use a fork and spoon! Good Luck

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  • blu-eyedwifeblu-eyedwife member

    imageAndysWifey342010:
    Can you just make the food pieces really small? I was never comfortable feeding dd chunks of food, we always cut everything up real small and gradually made the pieces bigger. She's almost 2 eats just fine and can use a fork and spoon! Good Luck

    This actually won't work with BLW, because they don't have the physical capabilities to manage small pieces of food.  Ideally, in the beginning, the food is large enough where they can't actually eat it, just hold it in their mouth, suck on it, etc.  It'll spill out of their mouth by gag reflex and the fact their tongue can't physically move it back to swallow.

     

     

    We didn't have any issues with opposing view points, but I did A LOT of research first.  I read the book, and DH wasn't interested in reading it, so I would share the important parts with him.

    I'm a big proponent of BLW.  I can't imagine introducing solids any other way.  However, that being said, I think it's really important in all parenting decisions to be mutual.  If he's not comfortable with it, I think your choices are either to talk to him about how important it is to you in the hopes he'll come around, or respect his wishes with your child.

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  • KrisM86KrisM86 member
    imageblu-eyedwife:

    imageAndysWifey342010:
    Can you just make the food pieces really small? I was never comfortable feeding dd chunks of food, we always cut everything up real small and gradually made the pieces bigger. She's almost 2 eats just fine and can use a fork and spoon! Good Luck

    This actually won't work with BLW, because they don't have the physical capabilities to manage small pieces of food.  Ideally, in the beginning, the food is large enough where they can't actually eat it, just hold it in their mouth, suck on it, etc.  It'll spill out of their mouth by gag reflex and the fact their tongue can't physically move it back to swallow.

    We didn't have any issues with opposing view points, but I did A LOT of research first.  I read the book, and DH wasn't interested in reading it, so I would share the important parts with him.

    I'm a big proponent of BLW.  I can't imagine introducing solids any other way.  However, that being said, I think it's really important in all parenting decisions to be mutual.  If he's not comfortable with it, I think your choices are either to talk to him about how important it is to you in the hopes he'll come around, or respect his wishes with your child.

    I  completely agree with everything blu said!

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  • star173star173 member

    We had to wait until our LO was 7ish months before he would eat without gagging. My DD gagged a lot, even with purees.

    Maybe offer some purees as well, to put your H's mind at ease. I will tell you, once your baby is a little bit older doing BLW will be so easy....so much easier than purees.

     

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