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How do I tell FMIL to back off?

sarnic123sarnic123 member
in Baby Showers

I get that this sounds bitchy but I am getting so annoyed by my fiance's mother. My sister is going to be the God Mother of our son and therefore she is planning my baby shower. She got married last month and I had planned her bridal shower, so she is excited to plan my baby shower for me.

 However, FMIL has a completely different idea of what this baby shower will be and I cannot think of a kind way to ask her to back off. She keeps suggesting places that I would never consider having a shower at or places where I have been where the food was terrible (all places her friends own).

 Honestly, I am being a little vain (and I know it) but my sister's bridal shower was at a breathtaking location, as was my cousin's recent baby shower. Unfortunately since I am having a winter baby, those locations are out due to cold weather. However, that doesn't mean I want my shower in the back banquet room of a bar (which is one of the locations she is pushing).

I'm just so frustrated.  What would you do?

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Re: How do I tell FMIL to back off?

  • LaineyPaneyLaineyPaney member
    I ditto the others.
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  • 1026pumpkin1026pumpkin member

    Ditto PPs- if you only want one shower, just let FMIL know that your sister is planning it and has everything under control.  I would try not to mention the shower at all around her.  If she brings it up. just keep thanking her for the suggestion and let her know that your sister is planning it/has it taken care of, and then change the subject. 

    If FMIL offers another shower, you can either politely decline or accept and let her call the shots.

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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    "Thank you so much for the idea.  I'll pass it on to my sister".

    "That's a great idea.  I think she already has a plan in mind, but I'll let my sister know!"

    "I"m so glad you're excited. I think my sister already found a place, but I'll let her know in case she's still looking".

    Etc etc etc. 

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  • rhubarb123rhubarb123 member
    imageEastCoastBride:

    "Thank you so much for the idea.  I'll pass it on to my sister".

    "That's a great idea.  I think she already has a plan in mind, but I'll let my sister know!"

    "I"m so glad you're excited. I think my sister already found a place, but I'll let her know in case she's still looking".

    Etc etc etc. 

    I agree with this and also the pp who said not to mention the shower at all when speaking with her.  If she wants to make plans for a shower then she should host one (obviously you can't tell her that though.  lol)

    BTW...I've gone to several showers that have been in the banquet room of a "bar" and they were very nice.

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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member

    I would let her know that all you are going to do is show up. Its up to the hostess to choose a location/food etc. That if she has suggestions or problems with the proposed location or other arrangements that your sister is the one to talk to. If she keeps on just change the subject. Keep doing that until she gets the hint.

    If it were me I would just say, "Oh I am happy with where ever or what ever. It just makes me thankful to get a shower at all." Hopefully she will get the hint. 


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