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October 2011 Moms
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Sexy Time

wilsontl19191wilsontl19191 member
in October 2011 Moms

I feel like the world's worst wife because I am simply not up for it most days.  When we finally do have sex, I always say we should have it more often, but when the time comes, I'm over it.  DH says he doesn't want to "rub one out" anymore because one time I came home from work and caught him!  hahahaha  Seriously, I feel bad.  I am attracted to DH and he thinks I'm the sexiest woman on earth, and yet, I can't find my libido!!  He got laid more when I was pregnant!  Sad!  Any suggestions?

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Re: Sexy Time

  • cantalopes24cantalopes24 member
    What do you feel is your biggest block to wanting to do it? Could you maybe schedule time to do it? Or just force yourself to make the effort? Would he be ok with always initiating it?
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  • wilsontl19191wilsontl19191 member

    imagecantalopes24:
    What do you feel is your biggest block to wanting to do it? Could you maybe schedule time to do it? Or just force yourself to make the effort? Would he be ok with always initiating it?

    That's just it!  I don't know what the problem is :-( We have alone time in the evenings, but it's the LAST thing on my mind.  He's fine with always initiating it - he would have it everyday if I let him. 

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  • wilsontl19191wilsontl19191 member

    imageSpicy15:
    I'm probably not much help, since I feel like a bloated waste of space lately. It does help that DH still wants me, so I feel happy in that aspect, just not looking at my pregnant/cellulite tush in the mirror aspect. For me I get in the mood better if DH is being romantic/sweet vs I'm horny and I want to get laid...stat. Sometimes, taking a shower/bath, and putting on makeup, lotion, putting on a piece of lingerie that hasn't made an appearance in months, gets me going, so that I put the moves on him. We use to have sexy time on a particular day of the week, kind of like a sex date, but hey whatever works. I have heard the more often you do it, that tends to ignite a stalled limbido. Good luck and I hope you and your DH get things back on track. On a sidenote I think I would die laughing if I caught DH rubbing one out, that whole deer in the headlights look! LOL!

    Thank you for the input!  Maybe a sex date is the way to go.  And yes, it was extremely awkward and I was embarrassed for him!!!

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  • ashleypembrokeashleypembroke member
    imagewilsontl19191:

    imagecantalopes24:
    What do you feel is your biggest block to wanting to do it? Could you maybe schedule time to do it? Or just force yourself to make the effort? Would he be ok with always initiating it?

    That's just it!  I don't know what the problem is :-( We have alone time in the evenings, but it's the LAST thing on my mind.  He's fine with always initiating it - he would have it everyday if I let him. 

    This is us too. I have lost mine and can't find it anywhere...

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  • wilsontl19191wilsontl19191 member
    imageashleypembroke:
    imagewilsontl19191:

    imagecantalopes24:
    What do you feel is your biggest block to wanting to do it? Could you maybe schedule time to do it? Or just force yourself to make the effort? Would he be ok with always initiating it?

    That's just it!  I don't know what the problem is :-( We have alone time in the evenings, but it's the LAST thing on my mind.  He's fine with always initiating it - he would have it everyday if I let him. 

    This is us too. I have lost mine and can't find it anywhere...

    You too?  It sucks!  I was never like this - my libido was always way up there.  Now, I don't even masturbate anymore!! 

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  • ashleypembrokeashleypembroke member
    I have no drive and it seems like the few times I did, DH was no where around and by the time he was I was not interested anymore. It's ridiculous really. I talked to my ob about it and he said it's probably a lifestyle thing. Like, I am too tired, worried about J or doing something for him, etc. He said it often takes FTM a while to get back into the swing of things. Some of my friends said they were the same way, others think I am crazy.
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  • wilsontl19191wilsontl19191 member

    imageashleypembroke:
    I have no drive and it seems like the few times I did, DH was no where around and by the time he was I was not interested anymore. It's ridiculous really. I talked to my ob about it and he said it's probably a lifestyle thing. Like, I am too tired, worried about J or doing something for him, etc. He said it often takes FTM a while to get back into the swing of things. Some of my friends said they were the same way, others think I am crazy.

    Perhaps we should organize a search team to go out and find them!!  Maybe they are lost and can't find their way back!  :p

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  • cantalopes24cantalopes24 member
    Maybe try doing it other times than at night. Morning, weekend afternoons. You could have him do dinner and bed while you take a nice bath and try to relax and then give each other massages. Being relaxed always helps me.
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  • katechamkatecham member
    We are the same way. Our best bet is right after DS goes to bed but even better at nap time. Night sex is basically sympathy sex or we need to just do it since its been a week. If he even tries to wake me up in the morning I'll kill him. Afternoon is the happy medium. Today my car wouldn't start beause the battery cracked and he came home to fix it and get a new battery. We dropped DS off at daycare, I got all hot and bothered watching him fix the car and we had adult time before going to work. That sadly is the first time I've been into it in months.

    I also have been having to fake it when we do get around to it, especially at night. I just want it over and to go to sleep. it used to be so awesome but now I'm caught up on my body issues and my mind won't stop racing about DS, work, house stuff, etc.
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