Community› The Bump Message Boards› Adoption
Adoption
New Discussion

I'm worried EM wants to parent....

christielovesnathanchristielovesnathan
in Adoption
EM has really shut us out these past few weeks and I'm so worried she wants to parent. I don't know how I'd handle it if we went through a EM changing her mind again, and I hope if she does it's before we fall in love with the baby. I don't even think I want to see the baby until after the papers are signed this time just so I don't get wrecked again.
Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Report Reply to Post

Re: I'm worried EM wants to parent....

  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    HUGS. I hope it works out for everyone
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member

    I can't imagine how devastating it is to have a match fall through, especially at such a late stage.  It must really make it hard to not worry now.  Is it possible she sensed your apprehension and just needed to focus on herself right now?  I'm sure this is a very difficult time for her, and I've heard of many EMs withdrawing as the pregnancy goes on and the reality of what's about to happen really takes hold.

    I wish you all the best, and hope that you don't have to suffer another failed match. 

    Report Reply
  • srmmm09srmmm09

    Please take my words in a loving tone - you know the internet. 

    Most EMs DO want to parent. I assure you, I wanted to be birthson M's forever mom so badly. There's also this weird feeling of dread - I called it "impending doom" - when I was pg with M. I knew that it was going to tear me apart to let M go. I'm not sure if I was more reluctant to talk to his APs at that time or not - it's hard to know when you're going through something as intense as it was. I'm just saying that the grief and loss kind of starts before LO is actually born, and it can be hard to cope with, especially with those who get to parent LO. It makes it kind of easy to avoid APs because it's less painful to not think about it.

    I mean, I'm not saying EM may not be deciding to parent, but I cannot imagine that there aren't a ton of EMs that want to parent and still place their LOs because they realize they probably shouldn't.

    For baby's sake, I hope EM makes a decision that has the baby's best interests in mind. I also really hope you don't suffer another failed match. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
    Application approved Dec '11
    Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
    After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
    Homestudy complete July 19
    USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
    Come home, baby A!
    Report Reply
  • IRRIRR member
    Are you going through an agency?  Can you ask the social worker what she thinks is going on?  I never worry too much when I don't hear from our EM for a while.  As PP stated EM's are going through some pretty tough emotions and are very hormonal.  She just may not be in the mood to chat.  If there are others involved with the adoption like an agency or lawyer I would see if they could provide you any insight.  GL.  Fingers crossed.
    image

    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15


    Report Reply
  • christielovesnathanchristielovesnathan
    She had a car seat filled with baby stuff last time we visited her, which was before the first post, and that's really what set me off to thinking she wants to parent...  I just know that the baby wants to be with us, so I hope she makes the right choice.
    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Report Reply
  • mom2onemom2one member

    imagechristielovesnathan:
    She had a car seat filled with baby stuff last time we visited her, which was before the first post, and that's really what set me off to thinking she wants to parent...  I just know that the baby wants to be with us, so I hope she makes the right choice.

    Huh?

    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"