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Postpartum Depression
Just wanted y'all to know! The sun will shine again!
Hello everyone. I thought of this board on my way to work this morning and thought I would send some hope y?alls way. I had twin girls on October 21, 2011. I had a planned C-section and all went well. I lost a LOT of blood during the procedure, but was able to leave the hospital without a transfusion and after 5 days. I knew when I was in the hospital that I was ?right?. I knew something was REALLY off. When I got home, things only got worst. I LOVED my babies, but I didn?t love our life. After the first night, I wanted to get in my car and get the heck out of dodge. I live in Texas and thought many times about going to Mexico and staying for months. I knew my husband and our families would take care of my girls. This was my normal thought process. NOT GOOD. I cried almost every 5 minutes and ? the time I wasn?t provoked by anything. Anyone who had been around me the first two weeks MUST HAVE KNOWN, I was off. My Sister in Law came to stay with us the second week the girls were home. She sat me down after being in my house for two hours and said ?YOU NEED HELP!? I knew she was right. I knew it. I called my doctor and they got me in that day.
I went in and told them about my helpless feelings, my feelings of extreme anxiety, etc. They put me on Zoloft. I stopped breastfeeding because honestly, at that point I wasn?t producing enough anyway and I wanted to do everything I could to get my hormones back to stable. That would help me get back to me. I was on Zoloft for about a month, but it caused me to not sleep worth a crap. I called and they quickly put me on Lexapro. I was on Lexapro for six months. I have been off Lexapro for about 6 months now and I am AMAZING.
This post is to let you know that it is going to be OK. I promise. PPD is SO REAL. You will make it through and look back and say ?I AM AMAZING AND I KILLED THAT!? I still have anxiety when I hear them cry when I don?t want them to cry but I can just tell myself, they are babies and they will be fine! I want to hug you all that are in the darkness of PPD and just let you know that it does get better. You will be the mother that you want to be SOON. I PROMISE.
My thoughts and prayers are with y?all. If you ever want to reach out to someone who has ?been there, done that? you are more than welcome to email me. Jerreryburn@hotmail.com
TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!
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Re: Just wanted y'all to know! The sun will shine again!
Thanks for sharing...I also am towards the end of my recovery as well. Weaning off of some meds right now. :-) Feeling much better, but my son is almost 2 and 1/2, so it has been a long road and I am still not 100%. Like you said, PPD/PPA is VERY REAL and awful! I always say, "I wish I could just be a normal mom." I know I will get there, but it takes forever sometimes. I am glad you are off your meds and feeling great! I hope to be in your spot within the next year or so when we TTC again. Totally praying I will recognize things next time and prevent this mess again.
Once again...thanks for sharing and congrats on your health.
Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).
Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!