PPD?
Baby Bouchard
member
I don't know that I'm "depressed" or that I'm suffering PPD but I'm certainly not myself anymore.
We had a tough pregnancy, in fact we lost a baby in December less than a week before our DD's 1st birthday and I suffered through terrible nightmares, crying, etc and still feel terrible about how it affected what should have been such a happy time in her life. Fast forward less than a month after our D&C and I was expecting again. I had an exhausting pregnancy, on months of daily progesterone injections, twice daily shots of heparin, bruised and tired I then got Pre-E and had bi-weekly NST/BPP scans for almost 2 months before our DS was born. The entire pregnancy was stressful and although I'm excited that he's here I don't think I've ever had the chance to decompress from everything that's happened in the past year.
Since about 2w pp I've felt like I can't do enough, I'm letting everyone down, my house is overwhelming, my DD is at a very active stage and into everything and I'm frustrated beyond explanation, there's also this intense sense of guilt that once again I'm affecting her negatively, Mommy wasn't emotionally or mentally there for her first birthday or about a month after it and once again I'm not, which leads to more crying on my part. My children are my world but why does it feel like my world is caving in on top of me. Sadly I have to return to work in less than 3 weeks which also is starting to cause me crazy anxiety, our DD didn't go to daycare until she was 6 months, our son will only be 8w and that scares the hell out of me.
Sorry for all the rambling but I needed to vent. I've attempted to with my DF but he just says it's normal and I'm going "stir crazy"...sigh.
Re: PPD?
I just wrote a huge response on the post above yours about traumatic experiences and I think a lot applies to your situation too. I had a loss when my son was 18 months old and I can relate to so much of what your saying.I'm sorry for your loss. I know the hurt too well. I've also been down the difficult pregnancy road and I think it is just a set up for having PPD.
The guilt is so hard, but you have to remember she is so young, this is a lot harder on you than on her. The best thing for your daughter is a Mom who takes care of herself. I'm not a professional but I really think you should talk to a doctor or a therapist. I can't say if you have PPD, but I can say if you don't feel like yourself it certainly can't hurt to check in with someone. And don't let your DF convince you everything is ok if it doesn't feel right. I'm sure he's looking out for you and trying to reassure you, but you are the only one who can really decide if what you're feeling is normal. Good luck!
Owen Matthew 11/1/2009 4lbs 10oz 16.5in
Born 5 weeks early by C/S | Severe Pre-Eclampsia
BFP #2 5/1/2011 | M/C @ 7 weeks | D&C 5/25/2011
TTC #2 | HSG Clear | SA 2% Morph otherwise great
3 failed Femara/TI cycles moving on to IUI
This! I hope you get some help and feel better soon.
Hi girls, sorry for not replying until now, for some reason I didn't realize that anyone had responded. DF and I have talked more, he is trying to help around the house more and more and trying to understand my feelings. I've explained to him I can't do everything and that I need a break to relax and take care of it before I break. I see the OB on Tuesday and plan on scheduling an appointment through my companies' EAP with a therapist.
I hope you both are doing well too. :O)
That is good! I hope things are getting better for you. I have been feeling really good lately. :]