DE IVF tx cycle begins in 2 days...

glueck · November 2012

Mock cycle is almost done, and on Saturday my treatment cycle begins. (My birthday is Sunday, too. Ugh) I can't even *pretend* to get it up. In Sept/Oct when I thought we were going to do the first DE cycle, I was so incredibly hopeful, and with the failed Essure confirmation test, my hopes came a-tumblin' down. I am not even bothering to get another confirmation test, because MH and I will continue with the cycle anyway.

Long story short, I cant get excited. I just feel like it has about as much a shot at working as attaching fairy wings to a pig and asking him to fly. Yep. That optimistic... and yet we are putting our thousands on the table again. I wish I could believe that I won't be the freakish disaster that I normally am when cycling- the one case in thousands where the docs say "this NEVER happens" but its somehow in the fine print, so I have to pay anyway.

I hope it will get better. I am on another continent than my husband for the next week, planning my international move, having to clear out of my apartment by Dec 1 and stay with friends for a month and a half, ALL while doing this cycle. Can't get it up. I never thought this would be me.

I spend most of my day forcing myself to work from gratitude, but today, I am failing...miserably.

Thanks for listening. I know we've all been there.

katt3233 · November 2012

Wow, you've got a lot going on. I hope you have a great birthday! And I wish you the best of luck!

Big hugs!!!

Mrs.McIrish · November 2012

Glueck- I totally get it. I have nothing left for this anymore. It has just crushed me too hard. But I will hope that you are pleasantly surprised at the end of your cycle. You just have to do it-no requirement to be excited. Actually I think excited is worse as the fall if it doesn't work is that much worse. Hugs and wishes for good things.

Roxie5739 · November 2012

Glueck you have so much going on right now, easy to get why this is all getting on top of you. Try to relax as much as you can and hang in there. fx this is your lucky cycle. We are all here for you (((hugs)))

MandaS08 · November 2012

Huge hugs girl! You have so much going on-its normal to feel how you're feeling. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

may2806 · November 2012

You have so much going on, and I know how hard that is. Sending you lots of good thoughts for this cycle.

BzeetyD · November 2012

I'm sorry. Feeling hopeless is so hard. I felt very down during our last IVF cycle and it was hard on me to feel so... non-plussed about it all. Gratitude can only get you so far sometimes.

It's good to vent. And you have a good audience here.

We can do the hoping for you.

Hugs.

Jlynn3 · November 2012

huge huge (((hugs)))

WIshing you a very happy birthday and sending lots of luck that this is your cycle!

Sophistikitty · November 2012

You have had incredibly bad luck and I completely understand why your optimism is gone. I?m praying though that the curse is finally lifted and you will end up being happily surprised. (((Hugs)))

jillychris · November 2012

((HUGS)) for you!!! Hang in there...I know you CAN get through this, and we will help you when you feel you can't! We will also stay positive for you! My fingers are crossed and sending you lots of luck for your cycle!

Scoop77 · November 2012

I'm sorry this has been so rough. The good(ish) part is that you can be stressed, not feeling particularly positive and still have the cycle work. You don't make babies with hope, you make them with sperm and eggs and, in our cases, thousands and thousands of dollars. Do what you gotta do to make yourself feel even a tiny better, whatever that is, while you struggle through. And GL! I'm rooting for you.

glueck · November 2012

Scoop77:
I'm sorry this has been so rough. The good(ish) part is that you can be stressed, not feeling particularly positive and still have the cycle work. You don't make babies with hope, you make them with sperm and eggs and, in our cases, thousands and thousands of dollars. Do what you gotta do to make yourself feel even a tiny better, whatever that is, while you struggle through. And GL! I'm rooting for you.

THIS is an exceptional point! I'm going to carry that in my back pocket.

Thanks ladies, for getting it and for your willingness to hope on my behalf. I will need it!

Hugs to all who need them, and I happily take some back in return.

AmCheri · November 2012

Hugs, G. You don't have to feel any particular way. The last thing you need right now is to put pressure on yourself in any respect. I hope it gets better for you. Just remember, we're here for you no matter what. When you don't feel optimistic, we'll do it for you. More hugs.

luvboston · November 2012

Hope you have the best bday possible and that next year you have your dream!

Gregermis · November 2012

I'm sorry you are having a rough day. T&Ps that there is a more hopeful day around the corner for you. I had many days where I couldn't do much more than barely put one foot in front of the other. ((Hugs))

joules12 · November 2012

Sorry that you've got so much to deal with these days. I'm keeping hope on your behalf and sending up lots of T&Ps that you finally get to have a "normal", boring cycle. Lots of (((hugs))) headed your way, glueck!

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