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CFjo2010
member
Sometimes all you can do is shake your head
CFjo2010
member
I'm not venting, nor am I asking advice. I just thought sharing this might help lighten the "day after Election" hangover we're probably all feeling. Plus, sometimes a small giggle and shaking of the head is in order...
My husband received a text from BM regarding K saying, "You would be so proud of K. She washed her face, brushed her teeth, got dressed and helped make her lunch this morning before school. I told her if she keeps this up she'll get Disneyland passes for Christmas". Um, what? I stared at the text in disbelief and started shaking my head. K is almost 7 years old, we expect this behavior from her and she does these things at our home every morning she is with us. Since when is this type of behavior from a nearly 7 year old worthy of Disneyland passes?
I looked at my husband to see his response and he stares blankly at me at says, "K is going to be 7 in December, right?" Oh the laughing fit I had. He was just as confused as I was as to why this behavior is so "extraordinary" in BM's eyes, that he actually double checked how old K is. He didn't bother responding to BM because the only responses he had was, "Why would we reward K with something so big for doing what's expected? And If BM has $1,000 to blow on Disneyland passes, why doesn't she finally move out and give K her own bed and room?".
Again, not venting or needing advice. Just kind of chuckling to myself. It made me think of all the times on this Board that we say to each other "You can't change the parenting style in the other parent's home".
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Re: Sometimes all you can do is shake your head
I have to say, I'm taking solace from the fact that she is proud of K. For a while it seemed like she was over whelmed and neglectful.
Nice for K to feel her mom is proud.
Your DH could have responded, even just to encourage her to praise K.
But yea, I've had moments where DH or BM are jumping up and down and I'm like 'what?'
I think he was trying to make sure he didn't say something snarky. Because honestly, we've been joking about it nonstop. I text him earlier and said, "I remembered to take my prenatal vitamin, I deserve a Tiffany's necklace"...
And truthfully, I don't know that it's so much that BM is "proud" of K. I really think she was hoping my husband would jump in and offer to pay for 1/2 the Pass, which isn't happening. This bragging is probably an attempt to deflect the blame surrounding K's excessive tardiness/absences. I wouldn't be surprised if BM is going to try and blame K for being late all the time. "Well she wasn't cooperating in the morning and it made us late". I know I shouldn't automatically assume the worst about her, but BM's track record kinda speaks for itself.
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Aaagh got it. On its face it seemed like you were making a negative out of an innocent positive.
Yea thinking about it my DH prob would have responded with '. It would suit you better to stay home and get her to school on time'.
Hard to be all oohs and aaagh when you are so frustrated.
DH is pretty much punching air tonight. He is also in 'take the p!ss' mode lol. Our dog was acting a little crazy earlier and DH was telling her 'do you realise how close you came to ending up in the pound today'? I couldn't stop laughing.
I feel ya totally on this one
The bolded is exactly what I felt like saying to her. Maybe it would be better to ask, "And what kind of reward program do you need in order to get your daughter to school on time?".
Again, I'm really glad things went well for your husband today. I cannot believe that woman seriously recommended that you get rid of your dogs so that DH could pay her more. Seriously? I know my pregnancy hormones are pretty bad right now but I would have probably pummeled her. Or suggested she give up custody of SS if she's struggling so badly. It's great that things ended on a note where you can tease your poor puppies about almost being homeless
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Ok, you win....
I really hope this issue has been addressed with the Court. I can't imagine a Judge allowing this to go on.
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BM has sent similar messages to us. Prompts a lot of eye-rolling in our house too.
Just make sure your DH tells K next time he sees her "Mommy said you had a really great morning Wednesday! Way to go, we're very proud of you." It'll be nice for her to hear that her mom was bragging on her and that you guys are proud of her for doing what she should.