DON'T GET AN EPIDURAL! You better not get an epidural! Its caused me problems with XYZ, could paralyze you and do blah blah blah because by that point I have zoned them out. I really wanna say "listen, bee, this is MY choice. Not yours. Suck it."
And "oh, cloth diapering? You'll be over that within a week. I did that with my kids and couldn't stand it." Whatever.
Mine is breast milk is not healthier for baby it's no better than formula! I was not going to argue with my grandmother so I was just like ok, even though it is way healthier, not to knock formula fed babies because we will see how breast feeding goes. I know it doesn't always work out or there are reasons beyond your control, but here's to hoping.
"Your life is going to change." Why, thank you, Captain Obvious. I had no idea that having a baby would involve changes to my life. Better put down the wine now then, yes?
BFP: 12/20/13 EDD: 08/23/14 (discovered m/c at 8w5d)
BFP: 09/22/14 EDD: 06/06/15 (hoping for our rainbow)
My SIL told me when we first found out, "dont tell too many people or go too crazy" and then told me the percentages of miscarrying, WAM! it was awful, Ill never forget it, I know the odds but really, keep it to yourself!
DON'T GET AN EPIDURAL! You better not get an epidural! Its caused me problems with XYZ, could paralyze you and do blah blah blah because by that point I have zoned them out. I really wanna say "listen, bee, this is MY choice. Not yours. Suck it."
And "oh, cloth diapering? You'll be over that within a week. I did that with my kids and couldn't stand it." Whatever.
This. "How gross.. You wont last a month, three months etc. I cant believe you want to deal with the poop." Uhm. Well. You're not the one washing them. i am. All you gotta do is change them if your baby sitting.. Just like a normal one.
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"Stop buying things for her!" People wanting me to wait until after the baby shower and even Christmas due Dec 9th. Instead of spacing it out I ended up buying a huge amount of stuff in the last month after the shower. As a FTM, I want to feel prepared and do not want to wait until after Christmas to finish buying necessities. If its anything like the showers, only so much will be bought and I'll end up having to buy everything else myself after Christmas when we have no extra money left!
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"Your life is going to change." Why, thank you, Captain Obvious. I had no idea that having a baby would involve changes to my life. Better put down the wine now then, yes?
This! People said it to me about my first and they are *still* saying it about my second. STFU!
Jude Wayne - Born 4/23/10
Violet Patricia - Born 12/5/12
Breastfeeding, baby-wearing work-at-home mom of 2 living in Rockville, MD
"Don't paint your walls" (since you'll have to repaint when they draw on them)
And
"You might want to think about getting your hair cut."
Plus, my hair doesn't even touch my shoulders! Ha!
Also, at the gym locker room a woman thought it was okay to question what I would be doing in there. She was only comfortable with me walking. As if she has a say!
It's not really advice, but I'm so sick of people telling me off in the grocery store for lifting a 12pk of pop or sack of potatoes. No, it will not hurt the baby. No, you do not need to lift it for me. I am pregnant, not disabled. Thanks though!
It's not really advice, but I'm so sick of people telling me off in the grocery store for lifting a 12pk of pop or sack of potatoes. No, it will not hurt the baby. No, you do not need to lift it for me. I am pregnant, not disabled. Thanks though!
Ahh! This! I'm like, please, I lift 45lb bags of dog food. If my husband isn't around to do it...someone has to get the dog food from the store.
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"You'll never sleep again". Ohh no...so what do you do to function then? I realize that my sleep will be inpacted in the begining, but I know lots of moms that get their plus 8 hours a night. My neice has been sleeping 12 hours a night since she was 2 months old.
"Make sure his face is always covered or he will get colic". I wish I was kidding. First, that is NOT how they get colic and second he's due December 19th - OF COURSE his face will be covered when we are outside for the seconds it takes to get to the car.
"Ohh you don't want to breastfeed". No?! Ohhh okay thanks. Actually yes I do. Honestly the thought of it right now kind of weirds me out a bit but I'm going to do it and once it happens it will feel natural. So piss off.
I could go on and on and on. As a FTM there is no shortage of advice. Solicited or not.
My favourite is one particular lady at work who always wants to talk to me about baby stuff, then informs me ominously that I have 'no idea what you're in for' and that when it comes to being tired during pregnancy, that after baby 'it only gets worse' SHUT UP already!
"You bought a crib? You're never going to use that! All your stuff is going to end up in storage. Cradles. bassinets, rockers, bouncers, etc are all a waste of money because you'll end up cosleeping anyways...."
Umm.. just because your baby did not like those things doesn't mean mine won't! Also I'm firm with not cosleeping with LO. It's like people forget what it's like to be pregnant and the constant irritating "advice" people give.
When they see my 22 month old DS running around terrorizing everything:
"You're going to be soooo busy!"
No sh!t. Thanks for pumping me up. I can't wait.
This is the same for me. If it makes you feel better, adding #2 wasn't that much of an increase in being busy - a toddler is a lot of work with or without a new baby! The baby was actually the easiest part of having 2u2
My favorite was when I would tell people was was pg with #3 - and the response was "Don't do it!" Last I checked, it was too late - how about some positive advice, people!
Oddly, I got less advice when pregnant with my first than I do now, pregnant with my fourth. What bothers me most is advice from women pregnant for the first time telling me about the wonders of natural childbirth and how superior breast feeding it. Actually, I've experienced natural childbirth and can say I enjoyed my epidural births more. And, I've also breastfed and formula fed and there is zero difference in the health of the baby I breastfed over the ones I didn't. So while I think your homebirth plan is wonderful, along with your plan to breastfeed for two plus years and co-sleep and home school........I'll stick with my way of doing things and ask that you respect that.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
My SIL told me when we first found out, "dont tell too many people or go too crazy" and then told me the percentages of miscarrying, WAM! it was awful, Ill never forget it, I know the odds but really, keep it to yourself!
My MIL said this to us too! This is my 3rd pregnancy, and thank goodness I have never had or been at risk for a miscarriage. Things not to say to a pregnant woman.
My favorites that I now respond to - I used to ignore but it's way too irritating to say nothing:
"Oh I remember when I was 33 weeks pregnant, it's so exhausting!" ....or...
"I had a big baby - he weighed almost eight lbs when he was born so I know how you feel."
Um, no. No you don't. You and your ONE baby have no idea, at 33 weeks, what it's like to be measuring 46 weeks pregnant with babies estimating over 5lbs each and still have five weeks to go (God-willing). I'd rather have you say NOTHING than try to empathize when we both know that you have no idea.
My friend told me to go ahead and get rid of my cats b/c my pediatrician will "make me" get rid of them as soon as LO arrives...um no...they are apart of my family and as long as DH and I are responsible human and pet parents, they'll be fine. Sure, they'll have some jealousy issues at first, they're cats and they're spoiled, but plenty of people have babies AND pets and everybody gets along just fine.
**edited to add more**
It's not really advice, but just as I was posting this, another friend texted me and asked me if they decide to induce me to please schedule it on Sunday, Monday, or Tues b/c those are the days she's off and would be able to be there...um...thanks but a) i doubt i'll have a say on the date, they'll just tell me when and where to be and b) i'm sorry, if i need to be induced i won't be scheduling it around other people's schedules, esp people who won't be in the delivery room (meaning anyone but me and DH)
Last night, I was at the store just after dinner with my 2 youngest. 4yo was being difficult at best. Random woman walking past says, "Just wait til you have 3, Mama!" Considering this is #6 - I just go back to how ignorant people are to even think they need to make comment to pregnant people/parents of young children.
When they see my 22 month old DS running around terrorizing everything:
"You're going to be soooo busy!"
No sh!t. Thanks for pumping me up. I can't wait.
This is the same for me. If it makes you feel better, adding #2 wasn't that much of an increase in being busy - a toddler is a lot of work with or without a new baby! The baby was actually the easiest part of having 2u2
My favorite was when I would tell people was was pg with #3 - and the response was "Don't do it!" Last I checked, it was too late - how about some positive advice, people!
Thank you:) that does make me feel better (even though, deep down I feel you're lying to me! lol).
"Your life is going to change." Why, thank you, Captain Obvious. I had no idea that having a baby would involve changes to my life. Better put down the wine now then, yes?
This exactly. People think they've discovered life on Mars when they tell me this.
most annoying that I've ever gotten was, "You're really not going to need that or that or that, if I were you I'd just return them and get something better."
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was a little itchy, and my friend told me it was all in my head, when in fact, itchy skin is a symptom of pregnancy.
I don't have any specific advice that annoyed me, but I hated the fact that everyone assumes your baby is going to be just like theirs and hate the swing, bouncer, swaddle, etc.
I think that motherhood is just something that we have to go through with a trial and error mindset. Everything that we try isn't always going to work and we will adjust to make it work.
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"You're not going to like cloth diapering. Cleaning up the poop is going to be a nightmare"
My husband's cousin cloth diapers both her kids and she loves it! She's going to teach me everything she knows and she says its just as easy as disposable once you get the hang of it. Plus, they have diaper sprayers to get the poop off the diapers. No dunking needed!
It's not really advice, but I'm so sick of people telling me off in the grocery store for lifting a 12pk of pop or sack of potatoes. No, it will not hurt the baby. No, you do not need to lift it for me. I am pregnant, not disabled. Thanks though!
I've gotten most of the advice above too, but my favorite lately has been about names. We're due in December, so clearly we MUST be naming her something related to Xmas. Noel, Holly, ... The list is pretty long. Sorry, but Isabella has a name already. :
I've gotten most of the advice above too, but my favorite lately has been about names. We're due in December, so clearly we MUST be naming her something related to Xmas. Noel, Holly, Carol... The list is pretty long, and often is offered in the grocery store line. Sorry, but no...
I also love my mom who keeps insisting that my dr should give me meds for the discomforts of pregnancy... I guess they handed out steroids for itchy skin back in the 70s. Personally I'm going to believe my OB when she recommends nonmedicinal treatments and says that the others aren't safe.
"do you actually plan on breastfeeding because i bet you'll not make it long" yes, this was said from my lovely mother-in-law who i can't stand in the least!
"You should be getting your sleep now, before the baby comes."
If I could sleep through the night without waking up 3-4 times to use the bathroom, I would. Sleep is my favorite thing in the world. Aside from chocolate.
Re: Most annoying "advice"...
And "oh, cloth diapering? You'll be over that within a week. I did that with my kids and couldn't stand it." Whatever.
Why, thank you, Captain Obvious. I had no idea that having a baby would involve changes to my life. Better put down the wine now then, yes?
"Don't reach up.... if you do, your baby's umbilical cord will wrap around his neck and kill him".... UGH!!!!!!
****OR****
Buy a television, put it in the baby's room and play Sesame Street all the time. He will be so SMART! ............. LMAO
This. "How gross.. You wont last a month, three months etc. I cant believe you want to deal with the poop." Uhm. Well. You're not the one washing them. i am. All you gotta do is change them if your baby sitting.. Just like a normal one.
This! People said it to me about my first and they are *still* saying it about my second. STFU!
"Don't paint your walls" (since you'll have to repaint when they draw on them)
And
"You might want to think about getting your hair cut."
Plus, my hair doesn't even touch my shoulders! Ha!
Also, at the gym locker room a woman thought it was okay to question what I would be doing in there. She was only comfortable with me walking. As if she has a say!
On cloth diapering:
"Good luck with that, you'll get tired of them and good luck with your water bill."
On the baby's floor bed:
"But where are you going to put her when you need a break? If she has a floor bed, she'll be able to crawl right out."
On not buying a travel system:
"You'll get tired of wearing that baby around all the time. You're going to regret it."
On shoes:
"You better only buy her the expensive shoes while her feet are growing!"
UGHHH. Now I'm getting angry just reliving it.
Ahh! This! I'm like, please, I lift 45lb bags of dog food. If my husband isn't around to do it...someone has to get the dog food from the store.
Comment: "Just wait until they can walk".
Reality - It's amazing and SO MUCH easier!!! Whoever said this did NOT have twins. I am certain of that.
"You'll never sleep again". Ohh no...so what do you do to function then? I realize that my sleep will be inpacted in the begining, but I know lots of moms that get their plus 8 hours a night. My neice has been sleeping 12 hours a night since she was 2 months old.
"Make sure his face is always covered or he will get colic". I wish I was kidding. First, that is NOT how they get colic and second he's due December 19th - OF COURSE his face will be covered when we are outside for the seconds it takes to get to the car.
"Ohh you don't want to breastfeed". No?! Ohhh okay thanks. Actually yes I do. Honestly the thought of it right now kind of weirds me out a bit but I'm going to do it and once it happens it will feel natural. So piss off.
I could go on and on and on. As a FTM there is no shortage of advice. Solicited or not.
This! I'm so tired of hearing about how many things people use to do differently and how we're all still alive.
"You're going to be soooo busy!"
No sh!t. Thanks for pumping me up. I can't wait.
My 4 Angel Babies.....
MC#1- 12/2008, MC#2- 05/2009, MC#3 07/2009, MC#4 11/2009
Training to become an IBCLC. BF Questions? Just ask!
"You bought a crib? You're never going to use that! All your stuff is going to end up in storage. Cradles. bassinets, rockers, bouncers, etc are all a waste of money because you'll end up cosleeping anyways...."
Umm.. just because your baby did not like those things doesn't mean mine won't! Also I'm firm with not cosleeping with LO. It's like people forget what it's like to be pregnant and the constant irritating "advice" people give.
This is the same for me. If it makes you feel better, adding #2 wasn't that much of an increase in being busy - a toddler is a lot of work with or without a new baby! The baby was actually the easiest part of having 2u2 
  
My favorite was when I would tell people was was pg with #3 - and the response was "Don't do it!" Last I checked, it was too late - how about some positive advice, people!
Make sure you eat enough to gain ten extra pounds per boob for when our milk comes in
Just because the AAP says...
A nice gem from MIL: Make sure you practice your Kegels
Cloth diapering will be a PITA and won't save you money so you shouldn't do it.
Don't CD yourself, pay a diaper service. Even though half the reason for CDing is to cut down on expenses.
And the argumentativeness
Maybe if you didn't slouch the baby wouldn't kick your ribs.
Babies don't REALLY break ribs
It's silly not to use a bumper just because the AAP recommends you don't. SIDS isn't that big a risk.
You're out of breath because you're out of shape.
Wow, I never had any of these problems or pains. WELL LA DI FRICKIN DA FOR YOU!!
Oddly, I got less advice when pregnant with my first than I do now, pregnant with my fourth. What bothers me most is advice from women pregnant for the first time telling me about the wonders of natural childbirth and how superior breast feeding it. Actually, I've experienced natural childbirth and can say I enjoyed my epidural births more. And, I've also breastfed and formula fed and there is zero difference in the health of the baby I breastfed over the ones I didn't. So while I think your homebirth plan is wonderful, along with your plan to breastfeed for two plus years and co-sleep and home school........I'll stick with my way of doing things and ask that you respect that.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
My MIL said this to us too! This is my 3rd pregnancy, and thank goodness I have never had or been at risk for a miscarriage. Things not to say to a pregnant woman.
My favorites that I now respond to - I used to ignore but it's way too irritating to say nothing:
"Oh I remember when I was 33 weeks pregnant, it's so exhausting!" ....or...
"I had a big baby - he weighed almost eight lbs when he was born so I know how you feel."
Um, no. No you don't. You and your ONE baby have no idea, at 33 weeks, what it's like to be measuring 46 weeks pregnant with babies estimating over 5lbs each and still have five weeks to go (God-willing). I'd rather have you say NOTHING than try to empathize when we both know that you have no idea.
My friend told me to go ahead and get rid of my cats b/c my pediatrician will "make me" get rid of them as soon as LO arrives...um no...they are apart of my family and as long as DH and I are responsible human and pet parents, they'll be fine. Sure, they'll have some jealousy issues at first, they're cats and they're spoiled, but plenty of people have babies AND pets and everybody gets along just fine.
**edited to add more**
It's not really advice, but just as I was posting this, another friend texted me and asked me if they decide to induce me to please schedule it on Sunday, Monday, or Tues b/c those are the days she's off and would be able to be there...um...thanks but a) i doubt i'll have a say on the date, they'll just tell me when and where to be and b) i'm sorry, if i need to be induced i won't be scheduling it around other people's schedules, esp people who won't be in the delivery room (meaning anyone but me and DH)
BFP #1 12/02/11, M/C 12/08/11
BFP #2 04/06/12, DD born 12/20/12
BFP #3 06/09/14, M/C 06/15/14
Thank you:) that does make me feel better (even though, deep down I feel you're lying to me! lol).
My 4 Angel Babies.....
MC#1- 12/2008, MC#2- 05/2009, MC#3 07/2009, MC#4 11/2009
Training to become an IBCLC. BF Questions? Just ask!
This exactly. People think they've discovered life on Mars when they tell me this.
most annoying that I've ever gotten was, "You're really not going to need that or that or that, if I were you I'd just return them and get something better."
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was a little itchy, and my friend told me it was all in my head, when in fact, itchy skin is a symptom of pregnancy.
I don't have any specific advice that annoyed me, but I hated the fact that everyone assumes your baby is going to be just like theirs and hate the swing, bouncer, swaddle, etc.
I think that motherhood is just something that we have to go through with a trial and error mindset. Everything that we try isn't always going to work and we will adjust to make it work.
"You're not going to like cloth diapering. Cleaning up the poop is going to be a nightmare"
My husband's cousin cloth diapers both her kids and she loves it! She's going to teach me everything she knows and she says its just as easy as disposable once you get the hang of it. Plus, they have diaper sprayers to get the poop off the diapers. No dunking needed!
  Plus, they have diaper sprayers to get the poop off the diapers. No dunking needed!
This!! Ugh!
Gee thanks. I wasn't afraid the pain would kill me, but thanks so much for projecting your own fears onto me!
I also love my mom who keeps insisting that my dr should give me meds for the discomforts of pregnancy... I guess they handed out steroids for itchy skin back in the 70s. Personally I'm going to believe my OB when she recommends nonmedicinal treatments and says that the others aren't safe.
I mostly lurk and it isn't advice but I couldn't help myself...
"When is your due date? The day after Christmas?! Aww that poor baby. She'll never get a real birthday!"
Seriously?
Already thinking about baby #3
"You should be getting your sleep now, before the baby comes."
If I could sleep through the night without waking up 3-4 times to use the bathroom, I would. Sleep is my favorite thing in the world. Aside from chocolate.