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Had the most insensitive thing said to me...

SJ&Beanie810SJ&Beanie810 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
About two weeks ago I found out I was going to miscarry but it has not happened yet. So today I went in for another ultrasound and just as the doctors thought, there was only an empty sac so unless I miscarry on my own this week, I will most likely have a dc next week.
My MIL called to see how I was doing and I told her the situation. She then went in to tell me I was probably experiencing pseudocyesis a false pregnancy and basically told me I should talk with a therapist.
I couldn't believe she said that... So I guess all those pregnancy tests, nurses, drs and ultrasound techs were wrong and I'm not pregnant?? Thanks for letting me know!!
After the day I had, to be told that this pregnancy was made up in my head by my MIL was truly the icing on the cake... I just don't understand some people.
Thanks so much for letting me vent...
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Re: Had the most insensitive thing said to me...

  • CaliforniaDream87CaliforniaDream87 member
    HUGS

    So sorry about the things your MIL said to you. Geez..some people just don't know what to say sometimes.

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  • edgiaedgia member

    I am so so sorry for your loss, and for the incredibly insensitive things that your MIL said. It breaks my heart that you have to deal with this on top of all the sadness that you are dealing with now. It is hard enough to go through this loss, but to have people discredit it is just terrible. Sending you a lot of (((hugs))) to you tonight.

     

     

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  • AnjaOAnjaO member
    I'm so sorry, that is definitely one of the worst things I've heard!  At least most of the crappy things people say are trying to make you feel better, that one's just cruel.

    BFP #1 8/14/10, DS born 4/30/11 
    BFP #2 9/30/12, M/C 10/23/12 
    BFP #3 12/16/12, CP 12/20/12 
    BFP #4 1/20/13, DD born 10/9/13
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  • kmichlnkmichln member

    I'm so sorry for your loss and your insensitive MIL. My MIL has said some pretty shitty things too. With both losses she said it was gods way of saying I shouldn't have more kids. With the second loss she said see I told you. She came over last night and stuck a baby swing in my garage so she could get rid of it since I'm not pregnant now?? I don't know, but sometimes MILs suck.

    I'm so sorry hun 

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  • kdr1120kdr1120

    Our situations sound similar. So I guess I was imagining being pregnant too? Hmm....that wasnt nice at all.

    Through everything I went through...my BF mother NEVER called me to say she was sorry to hear about my loss aka her grandchild. She talked to him about it. In fact when we first got the BFP and he told her she thought he was joking? Why would a 37 year old man joke about a pregnancy? Then once I confirmed, she didnt ask how I felt, say congrats, etc All she said was "when I was pregnant I didnt have anyone there for me. no sister and my mom had already died." So b/c I have both you need to tell me your sob story?

    Sorry again she said that to you. But no you dont need therapy.

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  • cold0009cold0009 member
    I am so sorry that your MIL is being so insensitive, some people just don't get it.

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  • SJ&Beanie810SJ&Beanie810 member

    Thanks so much for your support ladies. I'm so sorry for all of your loses. And I'm sorry that some of you had similar things said. It just feels so horrible to go through all this and then have someone tell you that you were never really pregnant. I guess some people just don't know how to handle things or what to say...

    Thanks again for your support. I truly appreciate it...

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  • plaidgirl117plaidgirl117 member

    I think it is a shame what people say to women at times like this. A therapist may not be a bad idea (sorry, have to throw a bone in for my profession) but for support and grief, not because you are lying or delusional.  Hold on to your truth and know that we are here for you.

    Wishing you peace... 

    "And just know that your sun will shine just as sure as this world can spin, and I know you'll find that it's almost time for that love to come 'round again." -David Wilcox "Almost Time"
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  • BastisWifeyBastisWifey

    It is not nice when we have insensitive people around us at these times. My MIL also said something sort of like that, I had a missed MC, and she said, "if someone has a miscarriage, they WOULD KNOW IT!" maybe it's not so bad, but it really bothered me. I had no clue I had miscarried, except for sickness going away, but I just thought I was far enough to be rid of it. 

    Sorry hun. ((hugs)) 

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