2+ moms with toddlers: adjusting?

MsNessa · November 2012

Just wanted to check in with other 2+ moms who have toddlers to see how the older LO is adjusting to the baby now that our babies aren't brand new anymore.

Mine is still having issues with sharing attention, jealousy, and unfortunately hitting.

She loves DD2, but now that DD2 is mobile and playing with toys that she sees and goes for, things have either stayed the same or gotten worse, I can't tell for sure. I really thought the adjustment period would be almost over by now.

sunnydays99 · November 2012

DS didn't have too hard of a time at the beginning. Now that we're pulling out his old toys for DD to play with there has been some jealousy. He hasn't wanted to share me lately either. He's been good overall and really does love his sister. It must be such a big transition; I feel really bad sometimes!

okate0213 · November 2012

My boys are a year and half a part. I haven't seen any jealousy from older lo, he can be a bit rough sometimes since he doesn't get that he is stronger that little bro. Now that he is crawling, he has been a bit more protective of his toys but will move away from his little brother.

FusionLMT · November 2012

there is no jealousy, and he is fiercely protective over her around other people. He'll give her toys and pat on her if she is upset, and he always makes sure I grab her when we go places and that I go and get her out of the car when we get home, lol. They are only 18 months apart though, so he has already forgotten what life was like pre-beebee.

Torani · November 2012

Things are going surprisingly well. I thought there would be a lot of jealousy and sharing issues, but not so much. He does get a lot of extra attention from Daddy, and that seems to help. He laughs when DS2 plays with his toys, and get soooo excited when the baby smiles at him. He even let DS2 play with his beloved lovey, which greatly impressed me! The baby is very popular at DC (he's the only baby), so that may help too! He only sometimes wants to play "I'm baby" so I indulge him so he gets some Mommy time too.

Patella1129 · November 2012

It kind of depends on the day. It's still rough most of the time for me though. DS is really frustrating right now--I think we hit the terrible 2's early!

WildcatPrincess · November 2012

DD is like a 2nd mother, it's adorable. She uses my verbiage and lately asks to hold him and offers to take him if he cries lol. There is some jealousy here and there when it comes to toys, but she's good at taking turns and offering him something else before she takes whatever he has that she wants. Mostly she laughs at him and tells me how cute and funny he is.

ally-cat · November 2012

Torani:
Things are going surprisingly well. I thought there would be a lot of jealousy and sharing issues, but not so much. He does get a lot of extra attention from Daddy, and that seems to help. He laughs when DS2 plays with his toys, and get soooo excited when the baby smiles at him. He even let DS2 play with his beloved lovey, which greatly impressed me! The baby is very popular at DC (he's the only baby), so that may help too! He only sometimes wants to play "I'm baby" so I indulge him so he gets some Mommy time too.

Your siggy pic melts me. How adorable!

ally-cat · November 2012

It's been a little rough. in the beginning, he didn't really understand. Then, when he wasn't getting all the attention (he's a total AW) it was difficult. It broke my heart and I cried daily the first month.

But then he got better. He loves his baby sister. but lately, he's been obsessed with her hands. Grabbing them while I'm holding her, and sometimes squeezing them too hard. Plus, he's always in her face when she is playing. He's definitely territorial with his toys, but sometimes doesn't care (when there is a distraction).

So I guess, to put it simply, yes, we are having a bit of a jealousy, behavior issue with Max right now. It's really frustrating, but distraction and lots of love and attention seem to help.

MsNessa · November 2012

ally-cat:
It's really frustrating, but distraction and lots of love and attention seem to help.

That's what we've found too.

I think some of it comes down to personality of the older LO. My niece and nephew are 2 years apart and they didn't have the problems we've experienced. The older one (my niece) has an eager-to-please personality and was very loving/motherly towards her brother.

I also wonder if there is a sweet spot for age difference. My sister & I are 14 months apart and my mom told me she didn't have to deal with any jealousy issues.

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2+ moms with toddlers: adjusting?

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