I have tried to fire my shrink for the last two weeks

luvboston · November 2012

and I have yet to succeed, she agrees we are not accomplishing anything yet she keeps wanting me to come back. Please suggest a nice way to give her the boot? My mom thinks I should just leave a voice mail canceling my appt.

BTW I have intro'd in the past and bopped around the IF board where I felt comfortable but no longer feel like I belong. And to top off a fantastic month I had my 6th m/c.

Mrs.McIrish · November 2012

I would just not make a new appt. Do you make them while you are at an appt? Next time just say "oh I don't have my calendar so I'll have to call later to make one". Just never call. Passive agressive, yes but if you can't just say I'm done, it's an option!

interzone · November 2012

***TICKER***

If she's not helping and knows it but keeps you coming back, she's being unethical at worst and irresponsible at best. There's no need to break it off with her nicely or gently. Depending on whether you want to go to another treatment provider, there are a few ways to handle this.

1) Just stop going--no scheduling additional appointments and cancel whatever's already on the calendar.

2) schedule a 'final appointment' and make it very clear that is what you are dong when you make the appointment. Use this appointment to get copies of records/tests/etc that you think would be useful to another provider (if you are interested in seeing one).

Dont let her guilt/bully/coax you into staying if you aren't making progress!

luvboston · November 2012

Mrs.McIrish:
I would just not make a new appt. Do you make them while you are at an appt? Next time just say "oh I don't have my calendar so I'll have to call later to make one". Just never call. Passive agressive, yes but if you can't just say I'm done, it's an option!

Yes I have a standing weekly appt, that is why my mom thinks I should just call and cancel because this week was supposed to be my last appt and she weaseled another one.

PurpleIris30 · November 2012

luvboston:
Mrs.McIrish:
I would just not make a new appt. Do you make them while you are at an appt? Next time just say "oh I don't have my calendar so I'll have to call later to make one". Just never call. Passive agressive, yes but if you can't just say I'm done, it's an option!
Yes I have a standing weekly appt, that is why my mom thinks I should just call and cancel because this week was supposed to be my last appt and she weaseled another one.

Sounds like a good plan to me. Having a therapist you "click with" is really important!

glueck · November 2012

PurpleIris30:
luvboston:
Mrs.McIrish:
I would just not make a new appt. Do you make them while you are at an appt? Next time just say "oh I don't have my calendar so I'll have to call later to make one". Just never call. Passive agressive, yes but if you can't just say I'm done, it's an option!
Yes I have a standing weekly appt, that is why my mom thinks I should just call and cancel because this week was supposed to be my last appt and she weaseled another one.
Sounds like a good plan to me. Having a therapist you "click with" is really important!

Agreed- If you've already told her its not working and you are trying to leave, it will come as no surprise when you dont come back.

Welcome to the board love. Big hugs on surviving your m/c anniversary hon. Its never easy.

Gregermis · November 2012

[[hugs]]. I am so sad you are still struggling. Always thinking of you lady!!

BeccaLandes · November 2012

***ticker warning***

that is weird- why won't she let you stop?

can you say, "i won't be back next week. thank you for your help, but as we've both acknowledged, this isn't working."

i am a therapist and i am usually the first to acknowledge feeling "stuck," and then asking what ways i can help/change to help the therapy. i wish she would do that for you!

Scoop77 · November 2012

I'm sorry, that stinks massively. I agree that if you've been clear you need to move on from treatment with her and she is still trying to weasel you back in there, maybe just cancelling the appointments repeatedly will get the message across. Never seen a reverse "What About Bob?" moment, but I'm sorry it's happening to you.

Also, so sorry to hear about your losses. My condolences.

BzeetyD · November 2012

I'm in therapy too.

Are you wanting to continue therapy elsewhere?

Can you cancel the appointment with her and say you're looking into seeing someone else?

Can you ask for some time off of appointments?

In my heart though,I'm kind of in the "be really straightforward" camp and I like the PP's idea of having a final appointment. This also allows you closure on the situation, and allows you to handle it in a very professional way.

Sophistikitty · November 2012

PurpleIris30:
luvboston:
Mrs.McIrish:
I would just not make a new appt. Do you make them while you are at an appt? Next time just say "oh I don't have my calendar so I'll have to call later to make one". Just never call. Passive agressive, yes but if you can't just say I'm done, it's an option!
Yes I have a standing weekly appt, that is why my mom thinks I should just call and cancel because this week was supposed to be my last appt and she weaseled another one.
Sounds like a good plan to me. Having a therapist you "click with" is really important!

Agreed!

...I?ve been wondering what had happened to you! I am so sorry you have to be here but it is nice to see another familiar face!

luvboston · November 2012

glueck:
PurpleIris30:
luvboston:
Mrs.McIrish:
I would just not make a new appt. Do you make them while you are at an appt? Next time just say "oh I don't have my calendar so I'll have to call later to make one". Just never call. Passive agressive, yes but if you can't just say I'm done, it's an option!
Yes I have a standing weekly appt, that is why my mom thinks I should just call and cancel because this week was supposed to be my last appt and she weaseled another one.
Sounds like a good plan to me. Having a therapist you "click with" is really important!
Agreed- If you've already told her its not working and you are trying to leave, it will come as no surprise when you dont come back.
Welcome to the board love. Big hugs on surviving your m/c anniversary hon. Its never easy.

Thanks! It was another m/c unfort not the anniversary

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