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Baby Showers
AlyDenee
member
Shower for LO #2?
AlyDenee
member
in Baby Showers
I say no.
My mom says yes, if its the opposite sex, and no if its the same.
Friends say yes, a small one no matter what.
Opinions?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Shower for LO #2?
I agree, I would say no. Just because you had a boy the first time and you are now expecting a girl (and vise versa), I think it is extremely rude to your friends and family to have them buy all new items in pink or blue.To me, it looks extremely gift grabby.
Generally, I am against second showers unless with extreme circumstances (like a 10 year age gap). Showers are really a gift to welcome a new mom into Motherhood.
Would your mom and friends settle for a sip and see or meet the baby party?
Showers are for first-time Moms. A no-gifts event, like a coffee, is fine.
However, my opinion is no.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I hate the argument "if it's a different sex." Poor 2nd kid...too bad it's got the same genitalia as the first.
However, I think showers are for first time moms. If your friends want to throw you a small party, then go for but NO registries and keep the guest list REALLY small. But, if you're not comfortable with it don't do it. I wouldn't do it myself.
I agree.
In my circles of friends we celebrate all babies, regardless of sex or age of previous kids. I wasn't expecting a shower at all for baby #2, and two different friends said they wanted to throw one for me. I've been to numerous showers for 2nd or 3rd babies in the last few years, as all of my friends are now on their 2nd or 3rd kids. I typically do smaller gifts for the later showers, so that's what I was expecting, and I was shocked that my friends were so generous this time around!
So, for baby #1 I had 4 showers total, my Mom's friends/family, MIL's friends/family, my friends (about 40 people total), and a small work shower. For baby #2 only had a smaller shower, with 22 people invited and 18 came. It was a blast and we all had a really good time.
I agree with this. If you are really not into even a small sprinkle then go with a "welcome baby" party.
And to Jen...who feels all babies should be celebrated. I couldn't agree more...BUT...the baby has to be born to be celebrated! That can be done at a sip n see or a welcome baby party NOT a shower (unless it is held after the birth). BTW...18 people is a lot of people to have at a shower for a 2nd shower IMO.
I don't think it should have anything to do with the sex of the baby.
We celebrate all babies in my family. I was given a large, traditional shower for my 1st. My mom threw me a 2nd shower for these babies. It was a small brunch at her house with 6 people (all close family). No friends or extended family. Just a small celebration.
As opposed to mothers whose kids are born within weeks of each other?
Okay, for one thing, if a shower is for the mom, then how come all the gifts are for the baby?
That being said, I had my son nearly 5 years ago. I had 2 very small showers (one work, one family - each with about 8 people there).
I was not planning on a shower at all with this one (a girl, due in January). But my dear friends at work are insisting on throwing me a bigger shower this time than I had 5 years ago. I feel awkward but I'll admit, I'm grateful. Not because baby NEEDS all new things, or because I deserve anything just for being pregnant but because we have so little of my son's stuff since it's been so long (his crib is now his bed, his infant car seat is expired, etc). They asked me if I'd be willing to set up a registry, so I have - should I be ashamed? I don't think so. I have also made it quite clear that no one needs to bring a gift, and that second hand items are just as welcome as new!
I just found out last weekend that my mom and SIL want to throw me a sprinkle too. And while I'd prefer at least one be AFTER baby is born, logistically that's not really possible for the family shower since they are planning it for during the long Thanksgiving weekend and it will be the last time many of them travel to our area for months.
The fact is that showers or "sprinkles" for second time moms are getting more common. I think it would be one thing if a mom was trying to plan it for herself, but if her friends are doing it for her out of love and excitement for the new baby, then that's fine.
The gifts are for the mother's convenience. The baby doesn't care if it is rocked in a swing or your arms. The baby could also care less if you use Pampers or paper towels. Heck, my child prefers a box of tampons to the million expensive toys that she has.
That's just completely incorrect. What a stupid argument.
STM and more usually have a Sip n' See to meet the baby. People usually bring gifts [because who doesn't love buying baby stuff?] but its not expected.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
So throw in 2 or 3 extras that had to be
invited to spare hurt feelings, and
there were 22 invited. It's not always possible to have a "small shower".
Again, it's common in my area and circles of friends. That's fine if it's not common in yours, but when 2 different friends say "hey can I throw you a party cause we want to celebrate you being pregnant and eat some cake" I don't see a problem with that.
The only problem I could see with showers for STM or more is that Showers, by definition, are a gift giving occasion. In some views a mom having a shower for baby number 2,3, or 4 could be perceived as greedy. You already have what you need and asking for more gifts is what seems to be the issue.
If it was just a party to "celebrate being pregnant" then why not forgo the shower label? If you are not out for gifts then its not a baby shower. A sip and see or meet the baby party would be the exact same thing with the bonus that the baby is there.
I see this justification of "celebrating being pregnant" as a thinly veiled way to cover up that you are hoping for more stuff.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
So are panhandling wedding guests via a "honeymoon registry" and sending pre-printed thank-you notes. Being more commonplace does not make it OK, it's just that tackiness is more widespread.
Eh...I guess I see it the same as a birthday party. If someone wants to throw me a party and provide food, booze, and cake to celebrate, then I'm all for it.
I would think it was gift grabby if someone was like "oh I'm pregnant, you need to throw me a shower!" but at least in my circumstance, one of my BFF's and one of my "mommy friends" approached me seperately about it, within days of each other, so I gave them the go-ahead. I was honored that they wanted to do it. I certainly didn't "need more stuff" but it was nice to get sweet gifts from my girlfriends. I know that we all had a great time at the party.
It's just common in some circles, and not common in others...not that big of a deal really
Well to you it doesn't but to some people it does. To my family, it equals celebrating the impending birth of a child... not a woman going into motherhood. Just because you don't seei t that way doesn't mean others can't feel that way.
I say no unless:
1. There's a big big gap between kids. My cousin's wife had a 16 year old when she was pregnant with her second child.
2. If it's the first child for the father. Again, in the case of my cousin, his wife had a kid before they met and our family wanted to celebrate my cousin's first child.
Your're NOT suppossed to invite all your friends. It's suppossed to be CLOSE family only like sisters, mom, mil. You're trying to make it sound less gift grabby but it isn't working sorry!
Lol! Ok dear, first, please show me where this "law" is written, I'd love to see it. Second, this was my very close friends, not even close to "all" of my friends. Like I wrote above, we all get together on a weekly/monthly basis, it wasn't a bunch of randoms. Lol that people care this much...
If you see these people on a weekly/monthly basis, what do you need to do a shower for? Make a toast at one of your dinners saying, "Yay, Jen's pregnant". Done.
Which is her way of saying that you couldn't possibly fathom how many friends she has---she's like Oprah.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Because I'm not the one that planned it, lol...? Also, for the same reason that we get together and have birthday parties, bachelorette parties, divorce parties, first communion, etc. Maybe my group of friends just likes to party more than the average person? Ha.
Anyway, not trying to argue with anyone, I was just sharing my experience with 2nd showers. They are a common thing in my circles of friends, and I don't understand why people get so up in arms about them. If you (the collective "you") hate them so much, then don't go. It's not that big of a deal, IMO.
My friends and I use any excuse to drink... we would just cheers at our normal weekly get togethers and any gifts would be brought over once the baby is born.
Sounds like your friends and my friends would get along famously!
Like I said, I didn't plan it! I have co-hosted or attended many of their showers (for 2nd babies none the less!) in the last year, so I'm assuming that's why they wanted to plan one for me? We didn't play any games, just got dressed up on a Saturday afternoon, drank sangri and mimosas, ate some delicious food, and opened presents and ate cake. It was awesome.
I actually can't think of anyone in my group of friends (even random people on FB that I'm not close with) that didn't have a shower for a 2nd baby.
The only exception I could see to this rule is if the two children are very far apart in age. I knew a lady who had her 2nd baby 15 years after her 1st and had gotten rid of all her baby gear. She had trouble TTC and truly didn't expect to have any more children. Her friends threw her a surprise shower, which I thought was nice.