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Blended Families
Phantomgirl
member
Court on Tuesday
Phantomgirl
member
BM is taking DH to court on Tuesday for CS readjustment.
It was adjusted last year and filed with the court BUT BM was never happy with the agreement. Since DH refuses to discuss it with her again she is taking him to court.
I honestly don't care. I honestly feel absolutely nothing about this. In fact I haven't even read the papers DH received.
Get this - BM served him lol. She actually asked for the papers to be sent to her so she could hand them to him herself. He only got them last friday as I was running late so couldn't do pickup and he went up there.
Not sure what her plan was if he didn't???
Also, DH knew how I would react so he didn't tell me until Tuesday (it was a holiday weekend here and we had a lovely day Monday). My response was 'knock yourselves out' and I moved on.
So here is my questions...
Since he is actually my DH should I be supportive in some way. As in ask him how he feels, reassure him, hug him, call him throughout the day on Tuesday??? I mean he is going to court.
OR
Seeing as he is as much to blame as she is for ending up in court should I just get up Tuesday morning and go to work as normal and leave them to their own devices.
Either way I am not going with him BUT I can't decide if I should support him out of a sense of wifely duty or if I have every right to be sick to death of the two of them.
I am totally happy for the court to review all and decide on CS so I am not worried. I also think that BM does not believe that he has had the drop in wages he has since he closed the business so this might actually be a good thing in that she will know he is not lying to her.
They are both being super nice to me though. BM sent me pics of SS at Halloween and I called and talked to her for a while etc.
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Re: Court on Tuesday
It doesn't sound as though he appears super stressed or worried. Maybe just kiss him and tell him good luck?
When something is bothering MH, he tends to internalize and get really quiet and worried. After we deal with it, I try to act as normal as possible. If I act worried or overly supportive/affectionate, it seems to just kind of perpetuate his stress or worry.
So maybe if you act like this isn't a huge deal, it'll help him?
I'd go with somewhere in between. Wish him luck beforehand and ask how it wen afterward. You don't have to be overly supportive.
I haven't asked him if he is super stressed or worried.
I am sure he is at having to deal with this by himself, court, paperwork etc. In the past I would have jumped in and took over that end of things.
He has not asked me for any financial info which worries me a little. I have a very organised filing system that he would not figure out in a million years lol.
I have a feeling he is just going to show up on Tuesday. I think he thinks he will just explain to the judge and the judge will believe him and. Its family court so he does not need a solicitor - so he says!
O well, by Tuesday evening he will know how the system works.
I think he thought he could just be a azz to her and there was nothing she could do.
And thats the thing, I'm kinda secretly glad she is taking a stand because he is never nice to her.
When she handed him the papers she told him she did it because she is sick of fighting with him.
They have a long history of being horrible to each other. BUT DH is for sure the stronger personality and I have always said he kinda steam rolls her on decisions and in conversations.
She is more of a 'wow is me' complainer but generally goes along with things while he is more upfront agressive and has a tendency to say 'no' no matter what the questions is.
If i'm totally honest she is most likely to do what is best for SS, while he is more likely to let his anger at her cloud his judgement.
I think that is why I always kinda liked her and always made an effort with her. She is not always nice to DH BUT she is a good mother.
^^This. Get up, wish him luck and then go to work. As you said, he caused this and has been a jerk to BM for a long time. She's finally standing up for herself and that's a good thing. A little "wake-up" call never hurt anyone. Yes, he's your husband and you love him. But you've been in the middle for far too long, and you're allowed to step aside and say, "This is your mess, deal with it".
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I think you have spent far too much time being the go-between for the two of them - making peace when they fight, etc. Step back and let your H deal with the consequences of his actions. If he doesn't find the paperwork he needs....oh, well! Should have looked that up beforehand!
You got your azz chewed out by the judge/magistrate because you came to your hearing unprepared? Too bad, so sad!
This exactly.