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My suspicions were not unwarranted

Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member
in Blended Families

DD got in the car at the meet up spot tonight and immediately said that her dad and SM had been fighting. I told her that some people do that and not to worry. She said they are talking about divorce. I asked her if she stayed at her grandparents this weekend or at her dad's. She said at her dad's but that her dad had been staying with her grandparents for the past week and they only stayed at his house this weekend in case was the last time she got to see SM. That comment alone made me feel HORRIBLE for DD. So I asked her if they talked to her together or if her dad talked to her and she said her dad talked to her. She told me they did all go to the mall together and walked around though.

So I have no idea if this means they are really filing or not or if they are just contemplating. I would hope they wouldn't mention divorce to DD if they weren't serious about it. I would hate to ask about any of it at this point. I think I will wait to find out if he really moves out or not before asking any thing about the fact that SM is currently carrying DD's insurance. So I will see where it stands in 2 weeks. SM is the one who usually pays the CS because BD can't seem to hold down a FT job so I'm guessing the CS is about to stop for the most part. I would hope they are going to tell me if/when DD's coverage ends so I can resolve that because I know BD has no insurance available himself because he's working PT. This sucks.

ETA:sorry for weird formatting..

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DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

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Re: My suspicions were not unwarranted

  • Holly_1007Holly_1007 member
    ugh. I hope they aren't dumping their drama on the kids, that is so frustrating :-/
                           
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  • PhantomgirlPhantomgirl member

    Poor DD, how confusing for her.

    If they talked to her then I imagine they are pretty serious. 

    Sucks for you thought, as you say SM carries insurance and pays CS.

    Hope DD is ok in all of this.

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  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member
    Yeah, I'm pretty sure this means visitation is going to get interesting.  I wonder how him having 2 kids from 2 BMs is going to impact his visitation. Meaning, BD worked most weekends and he doesn't make sure he's not working when he has her even though it's 2 weekends a month. SM used to be with the kids most of the time so I can see him either not picking either of them up or trying to get his parents to watch them but with his mom's MS getting worse I don't think that will be happening alot.
    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member

    I'm so sorry this is potentially happening.  It's not only hard on BD and SM, but it's hard on your DD as well.  I'm also sorry for you, as you will end up being the one trying to help DD navigate through her feelings in all of this.  I hope that BD and SM didn't directly tell DD about a possible divorce and that she just overheard them talking. 

    I'm not sure what the relationship is between you and BD, but is it possible to mention what DD told you?  Maybe the 2 of you can start trying to figure out what changes (if any) will need to be done to the visitation schedule so that DD will still get to see him.  Also, I hope SM is willing to work with BD and coordinate the visitation schedules so that the siblings still get to maintain and nurture their relationship.  I think that's going to be the hardest thing in all of this: making sure the kids grow up knowing each other.

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  • twister22twister22 member
    imagejobalchak:

    I'm so sorry this is potentially happening.  It's not only hard on BD and SM, but it's hard on your DD as well.  I'm also sorry for you, as you will end up being the one trying to help DD navigate through her feelings in all of this.  I hope that BD and SM didn't directly tell DD about a possible divorce and that she just overheard them talking. 

    I'm not sure what the relationship is between you and BD, but is it possible to mention what DD told you?  Maybe the 2 of you can start trying to figure out what changes (if any) will need to be done to the visitation schedule so that DD will still get to see him.  Also, I hope SM is willing to work with BD and coordinate the visitation schedules so that the siblings still get to maintain and nurture their relationship.  I think that's going to be the hardest thing in all of this: making sure the kids grow up knowing each other.

    That's so important. I could be wrong, but I think typically when a second CO is established for one person with a different BP, that they will try to coincide the times so that the siblings will see each other. DS has seen his little sister from BD/BM2 once from mid-August to present because BM2 keeps changing if/when she is allowing BD to see his DD. I would be flexible whenever possible with BD when it comes to the kids getting to see one another.

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