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Parenting after a Loss
WearingRed
member
BFing checkin
WearingRed
member
So its Friday ladies! Let's hear it. How is bfing going? Any accomplishments and or failures? Big problems you need help with? What about a goal you want to make?
GTKY: sex drive do you have one or is it gone? [ no I am not some kind of pervert I am just wondering what others are feeling. ]
GTKY: sex drive do you have one or is it gone? [ no I am not some kind of pervert I am just wondering what others are feeling. ]
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BFing checkin
It's been a good week! I've got 120 oz. in the freezer and I'm working on correcting my morning oversupply... I think I may need to start pumping before I go to bed, as DD's bedtime is shifting earlier and there's about a three hour break between when she last nurses and when I go to sleep. Hopefully that helps.
I think a goal I really *need* to make is to start jazzing myself up to working through BFing while teething... I am really committed to BFing for at least a year, but DD's got a chompy latch and I'm terrified of her teeth coming in.
GTKY: Between BFing and taking the mini-pill, I've got a pretty limited sex drive. I just have an incredibly hard time getting in the mood, which is frustrating for me and for DH. If only he wanted sex once a week instead of every other day... I could so handle that.
I don't think I checked in the past couple of weeks, so I can report my news now that I officially made it to 1 year! Yay! My body is also doing okay-ish with not pumping during work hours (I stopped pumping at work the day before his birthday). I still sometimes have to pump in the morning after DS eats and before I leave for work because I have to be pretty darn empty in order to make it through the work day without feeling like I'm going to burst. Hopefully my body will figure it out pretty quickly.
So now I need to give more thought to the weaning process. I have several hundred ounces frozen, so I'm thinking I'm going to continue to send that with him to DC and transition him to the sippy with dethawed breast milk at home during the day on the weekends so that we're only nursing first thing in the morning, before bed, and maybe one other time in between. Although I've always dealt with an oversupply, I start to feel such anxiety about my milk completely disappearing if we cut back too much! I'm not ready to completely wean him yet.
GTKY - I don't currently have one but honestly that's not much different than before BFing. Maybe I'll find it for the first time after DS is weaned though.
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
Hello, this is my first time with the check in- but it seems appropriate as right now I'm Bumping and Pumping!
Breastfeeding is going well, I really feel it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I think the biggest problem right now is how DH feels about it. He has never totally been on board with it, just more gone along with it because it is important to me. I'm pretty sure that he thought I would have quit by now. Lately he has just been bugging me about switching DS to bottles all the time. I think partly because he has some anxiety about not being able to know how much DS eats during a feeding, but I suspect it is also partly becuase he just thinks formula would be easier and wants me to quit.
So I don't know what to do. He wont buy into any of the health benefits of breastfeeding so that argument is lost. I tried to explain again last night that bottle feeding is more work for me becuase then in addition to pumping, I have to wash the bottles. Right now I'm just going to keep on keeping on. My goal is still exclusive breastmilk for 6 months and food/breastmilk until a year.
Any advice for dealing with DH?
BFP#1 10 wk missed mc
BFP#2 DS born at 40+2 on 8/14/12 BFP#3 DD Born at 39+3 on 5/13/14
DS is 10 days old and so far so good! I BF DD for a year and that's my plan for DS also, even longer if he wants. I stopped with DD because she was losing interest and I had recurring clogged milk ducts. Only problem with DS is my oversupply he chokes and coughs during let down and he spits up a lot. I think he needs a pacifier and that has been helping to reduce spit ups. I think my oversupply will regulate soon. He needs to suckle to be soothed ad I am pretty sure he was getting too much milk. Though he was keeping most if it down, he gained 12 oz in 6 days! Crazy. He's a little porker.
Sex drive is non existent at this point, he was born on the 23rd of Oct, so I am still healing from stitches and the other fun post partum stuff.
M/C Nov 9, 2011 at 11 weeks.... We love you & miss you
Things are going pretty well - I returned the hospital pump Weds and the new one is working pretty well. I miss the quietness of the big pump but its nice that I don't have to cart around that monster. My supply has responded to additional pumping (yay) and I'm feeling more commited to keeping it up till 1 year. I'm encouraged at actually being able to pump enough for a bottle at least one pumping session a day, and I'm cutting back his DC bottles every so slightly to try to rebuild my freezer stash.
I'm actually starting to get my sex drive back just recently. I had some pretty severe damage so between that and BFing its been completely nonexistant.
Russalka: My ds was really chompy too and while I've had a couple of nips when I wasn't paying attention at the end of a feed, its actually gotten better with teething. Weird. So it might not be as bad as you think!
We're still going strong here. DS loves his milk (from the source, that is) but I think his super-fast weight gain has slowed a bit in the last couple of weeks. I didn't drink enough water earlier this week and was rewarded with an immediate drop in my morning pump from 8+ oz to 2oz. I'm trying to drink more water and was back up to 6oz this morning. I realize this is a bit of an oversupply but I want to have a good freezer stash in place before I reduce the morning pump.
Accomplishment: I think we defeated the thrush, finally!
Problems: DS does not like bottles. I go back to my PT job on the 13th (sob) so we'll see how DC feedings go.
GTKY: Ehhh...not so much. We've DTD twice. We both hate condoms, so it hardly seems worth the effort. I think I'll be switching to the mini pill when I go in for my annual exam next week. Has anyone on the mini pill noticed supply issues?
Yay, congrats!
Finally Friday! BFing has been going pretty well this week. No real complaints. My supply is slowly retuning to where I'm comfortable with the amount I'm producing and pumping.
We're playing around with the idea of DH taking over bedtime routine. He doesn't get a whole lot of time with L and I think it would do them both good if they had a set time every night to spend together. That means another bottle for her and pumping session for me, though. And more pressure to pump enough without having to dip into our freezer stash. I think we're going to try it out this weekend and see how it goes.
GTKY: My sex drive is zero. I have no interest at all, but DH's drive is in full gear. I try to muster up some intrest once a week, but TBH it's just another chore I have to do. Not to menchion it still hurts like hell. A barbed wire penis comes to mind... So yeah, sex sucks right now.
BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience." Let it Be (blog) ♥ My BFP Charts
This time I'm not leaving without you.
achievement this week is baby boy is back to his birth weight plus one oz! Woohoo no more night alarms. I can let him sleep and let me sleep. Ahhhh sleep!
Failure forceful letdown is killing all my pillows at night. I am going to have to buy some tennis balls so I can wash them soon.
No real problems.
I haven't been cleared for sexy time but I have to say at least the idea of sex doesn't repulse me this time like it did last time. So hopefully by the time I am cleared I might want to.
What doesn't he buy about the health benefits? You and your LO stand to gain a lot by a BFing relationship! Maybe you could have him talk with your OB or the pediatrician? It sounds like you're doing most of the feeding anyway, so I'm curious why he's pressuring to switch to bottles.
My supply seems fine! My midwife actually said that it's more likely to cause a slight increase than a decrease.
Woo hoo! So glad it's going well.
I was also TOTALLY ready about four weeks after I had DD, and it didn't hurt until I started thinking too much about it.
Nothing big to report. DD no longer sleeps through the night with is rough - for a while she was sleeping 7pm-7am but now with teething she's up 3-4 times a night.
Sex drive wise - I have as much of a sex drive as I ever did. DH and I probably have sex once a week which is normal for non-TTC times. One thing I do notice is that I'm a lot drier. I have Mirena which is nice because it doesn't affect my sex drive like the pill did.
Missed m/c 10/25/10 @ 11.5 weeks
Hi ladies! Although my supply dipped a lot last week, it seems to be back up this week with the help of more water and Fenugreek. I made my initial goal of 6 months, and now I'm trying my best to make it to a year. I will have to stop pumping at work then and I am counting down until I don't have to cart the pump with me everywhere.
GTKY: My sex drive has always been on the low side, but with BF it's pretty much completely gone. But I know I need to make our love life more of a priority so hopefully my sex drive will come back soon.
Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
My goal this week was to transition to complete BF during the day instead of BF followed by pumped supplement. I'm about half way there. It works in the mornings, but she doesn't feed as long in the evenings and is still hungry. Since we still have weight issues, I give her the pumped too at that point. One step at a time, I guess.
My goals for this week are to keep working on the transition and to stay hydrated. My suppy's been a little low the last couple days. Long term, I want to BF 6 months, then wean slowly until 9, maybe 12 if I have a freezer stash.
GTKY: I'm still less than 4 weeks pp, and sex is off limits until at least 6, but I have had a few sex dreams this week, so I think the desire may be returning. We'll see.
Sorry your hubby hasn't been on board and that he doesn't buy-in the health benefits. I say keep doing what you're doing and he'll get over it or not and just ignore his pestering about the bottle. My hubby was concerned about not knowing how much DS ate a time when I breastfeed but I told him, DS will get his fill so not to worry about it.
That being said we also give him bottles and we are still unsure about how much he should get, not how much he's getting. So that's the next step ok we're giving him x via the bottle but is that enough or too much.
Good luck.
Things are going well. I've gotten into the groove of pumping at work twice a day but I'm still not pumping enough for his three bottles a day at day care. I still need to get my supply up so I'm working on that constantly.
My short term goal is 6 months and the lil guy will be 6 months on the 21st so now I have to think of my next goal when I think will be 9 months.
GTKY: I didn't have a huge sex drive before the baby and DH was excited when we started TTC because we had it more than once a month. I honestly don't have one now and I feel bad because it's been months (I think the last time was in August). I really need to do better about this.
I do have 2 question for everyone
For those who are pumping for day care and building your freezer stash...how are you doing it? Maybe I can't picture it because I'm barely making enough for what he needs the next day.
For everyone - how are you making sure you get enough water in a day? I'm not much of a water drinker or a drinker of anything. I can go hours not drinking anything and I know that's not good for me or my supply.
Congrats on hitting the one year mark.
Ladiebug710, what is your DH responsive to? Reading, listening, researching? When I was getting my DH on board for BLW I had him read sections from a book that were his style. If he were a listener I'd have an expert talk to him --- actually that's interesting, my DH was really impressed by both the lactation consultants that taught one of our prenatal baby care classes and one showed up for DD's birth BF consult --- I bet that made a difference. If he were a researcher ... well, show me YOUR research! It could be something you and your DH agree to disagree on and you make the call unless he has a compelling reason otherwise. GL.
Unexplained IF/RPL
TTC#1 2003 BFNs, 2004-2009
5 angels above
2010 IVF-PGS-FET#1, DD b. Aug-2011
TTC#2 2012 BFNs, 2013 FET#2, DS b. Nov-2013
TTC#3 2015 BFNs, FET#3
(my 6th and last angel above)
Journey Complete.
DD (near 15 mos) is skipping bedtime BF - either for molars, supply and/or ? Morning BF is going ok. My sex drive has ebbed and flowed over the past year.
Unexplained IF/RPL
TTC#1 2003 BFNs, 2004-2009
5 angels above
2010 IVF-PGS-FET#1, DD b. Aug-2011
TTC#2 2012 BFNs, 2013 FET#2, DS b. Nov-2013
TTC#3 2015 BFNs, FET#3
(my 6th and last angel above)
Journey Complete.
I can orgasm, but would be totally satisfied to have noninsertion sex.
Bfing is going well. Still nursing both kiddos. DD nurses twice a day and then I give her a bottle of pumped milk before bed.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
Not all kids bite. DD has only bit me when she tried to talk with a nipple in her mouth. Never while teething. So you may be spared!
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
I have trouble with this too. I have a big 40oz water bottle that I try to fill 3-4 times per day. I just don't like plain water, so if I'm having trouble getting enough water down I use the powdered drink mix packets. I find the whole packet for 40oz to still be too strong sometimes, so I use just enough to make it taste like something. The liquid drops (Mio, I think) are more convenient but more expensive.
Breastfeeding is going pretty good. Charlie is more than a pound over her birth weight but she seems to want to "snack" all day rather than nursing for a long time in 1 sitting.
Sex drive has been through the roof for the last week or more. Unfortunately I don't see my dr until Thursday next week so that's out of the question.