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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
tmwishful
member
impossible to take LO anywhere
tmwishful
member
These days I feel it's impossible to take my LO anywhere. She's 15m and just started walking. I try to limit her time that she's confined to a stroller/car seat, so we stay home most of the time so she can practice walking, or trips to the little gym or playdates. With the holidays coming up, we are invited to numerous places where there won't be any other children. I'd rather stay home. It's so tiring and more work than it seems worth to go to other people's houses. I rarely enjoy myself anymore. Anyone else in this boat?
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Re: impossible to take LO anywhere
Our DD is 15 months old and has been walking for since she was 12 months...she is VERY active. This is a difficult age because they do not want to be contained, yet too young and "clumsy" to let free.
We used to go outside to play all the time, but now that the weather has turned nasty we really struggle to find things to do with DD.
We do go to the mall or to Target. After she's been contained for a while, we let her "run around". She just looks at everything and plays with the toys.
As for taking her to other places where there aren't any children....I guess it all depends on the crowd and their tolerance for kids. If we were going to a party, then we would either find a sitter or not go. If it was just to a get together with friends than we would take DD and let her run around someone else's house for a while! It would totally depend on the type of event and who would be there.
Can you get a sitter so you can go and enjoy some of the holiday events that may not be suited for kids?
The events I was talking about are my family, but my sister has no children and we usually get invited to her inlaws house, and they are lovely people but all their children are teen and older, so not a kiddie environment. I think you put it well - that it's a difficult age because they don't want to be contained. And they shouldn't be. If there was an adult party, I would get a sitter. And DH and I are due for a night out anyway.
Last week we had to stay at my folks due to a 3 day power outage from Sandy. We were fortunate compared to many people, but it was hard with DD at my mom's house. It's an open floor plan, so her house is one big room downstairs and it's impossible to gate off any area. So we had to confine DD to the pack and play for much of the time. Once we got back home she started walking better than ever. Just frustrated lately. Thanks to anyone who read my rant.
Whenever we go to family or close friends houses I go through right away and move things out of LO's reach. When she was younger I also brought duct tape with me to put over electrical sockets. For my mother-in-laws house we bring a small gate to put at the bottom of her stairs (she has an open floor plan), this keeps her downstairs and contained for the most part.
I have been known to take table clothes off of tables, flower vases put on top of the fridge, picture frames and other little things in a bedroom. It only takes a few minutes to move things up higher or into other rooms (and nobody has ever minded, they always comment on how sorry they are that they forgot to move stuff) and it allows me to have a much more relaxing time.
We have one of those gates that has 6 connected sections and can be completely closed. We will take this with us when we go to peoples houses this Christmas so we can put it around the tree.
Good luck! It is a very trying time right now. They get into everything! and they are very good at finding things you didn't...
I sometimes have issues taking DS to family events where the whole family is invited.
I just bring a bin of toys for myself. Make sure to carve out enough space for him to play at. And apologize to the host or hostess in advance for not socializing enough. If its mainly my family DH takes on more of a parenting/playing role and I socialize and vice versa with his side. But it is exhausting taking and packing everything with you, and ensuring there is some food for him to eat. And watching him in a non kiddie proof home.
I may be the outspoken one here, but I think exposure to a variety of people & environments is good for children. New experiences, even just taking in new sights/smells/sounds etc, are developmentally stimulating and will help your daughter get used to life outside the home. Not everything you do needs to cater to her demands; i.e. be "kid friendly," babyproof, etc.
I'm a single parent and I'd go crazy if I didn't drag my LO along with me to places MOM wants to go -- and I've found that more people & places can accomodate a baby than I originally assumed. My daughter has tagged along everwhere from five star restaurants to art gallery openings to theatrical performances to dinner parties. And no, I don't bring outlet plugs or buckets of toys & food with me. I stick her favorite lift-the-flap book in the diaper bag and grab her sippy cup, but that's pretty much it. I feed her whatever the adults are eating. I let her explore the environment she's in and she's plenty entertained just by the new faces and things to explore. Sure, I'll redirect if she goes for something dangerous or breakable, but it's also a good opportunity to reinforce rules & boundaries with regards to her behavior.
Also, I wouldn't worry about "practicing walking." Kids learn to walk just fine in their normal activities -- going for a ride in the car or the stroller will not thwart her natural development.
Any chance of hiring a sitter for some of these holiday events? Or if you have a husband around maybe he could stay home with the little one so you can get out and socialize sans-baby a bit. Sounds like mom could use a break!
I wish I had the guts to do all that with DD. I originally wanted to, but now it feels like a lot of work. Yes I need a break!
As a mom who has been in this stage for a while now - just go. Just do it, and see what happens. You may not enjoy it as much, you may not socialize as much, but it will be good for you and your LO to be out with people. Talk to your DH ahead of time (assuming he's going to the event with you) and have a plan for taking turns keeping an eye on LO, what you will do if she melts down, when you'll leave, etc. Be prepared with a favorite toy or two, a special snack and a sippy, and then go. You can let your LO explore without being right on top or her or containing her, as long as you have a watchful eye out. And I honestly find family gatherings LESS stressful, because my family will all keep and eye out for the girls. The girls are 100% free to roam my parents house because there is almost always someone in every room who will drop everything to spoil them rotten
And don't be afraid of containing her in a stroller, car seat or cart. If you need to go to Target, go to Target. You're child will develop just fine at her own pace whether she rides in the car a lot or not, and you will feel more sane and less stressed if you get out when you need to!
DD1 Feb 2010
DD2 Sept 2011
ITA with all of this, except that I never really go to 5 star restaurants or gallery openings. We take DD everywhere, and we travel with a little clutch of a diaper bag - diapers, wipes, hand sanitizer, and maybe a little book or doll or something if we're going somewhere where I want to be able to socialize in peace. She eats what we're eating and rarely snacks at all. If we're going to be out past her bedtime, like dinner at a friend's house, I might bring PJs and her PnP to put her to bed wherever we are. Kids need the opportunity to be exposed to new environments and people in order to develop the social skills to behave appropriately in various situations. If you don't give them a chance, how can they learn?
I also agree that it sounds like you could use a break, and maybe it would be good to consider hiring a sitter for a night out or leaving LO with your husband for a girls night sometime soon.
I guess I should have mentioned that I used to take her to many different places and always to Walmart, etc. Gotta eat, right? It's just lately now that she's on the move that it's exhausting. Also, maybe it's that I don't want to do Thanksgiving at my sister's again because I find her house kinda....icky. So I guess it's ok for us to pass on that, but will do Xmas at my parents. Maybe pass on other invitations this year so we can get some rest.
Anyone else want to return to the newborn stage? Boy was that easy!
I've got 2 going in opposite directions and touching EVERYTHING! It is hard at times but the more they have experiences the better they get.
The first few times DS would walk with me he would try to run away (in a store) and I would grab him tell him to stay with mommy...he would cry, people would look, DD would be grabbing stuff but then the 2nd or 3rd time of being consistent he stayed with me.
At people's houses DH and I split or take turns. One of us eats while the other watches then switch. I move people's breakables, and if things start to get out f hand (tantrum because they want yo play with a lamp or something) I take them outside and wait until they calm down!
It really isn't rocket science and the more you do it the better you and they are! We go to the zoo, park, beach, anywhere really!
Sorry, but I have to call BS on some of you... either that or your children aren't nearly as high energy or high needs as others.
OP: Everyone's child is different. Do what you need to do. If you can get a break once in a while, take advantage of it. Just know you are not alone.
I personally think it is an outlook on life. Yes I had 2 kids 16 months apart due to mini pill fail, ebfing and never getting AF but having a bad attitude wasn't going to change my situation. Staying positive and having a life is important!
Life is REALLY hard and most people couldn't manage what I have to manage in a day but try to find the humor and comedy in everything does help. I have 2 very active toddlers who don't stop moving, touch everything, throw massive tantrums, DH who works 60+ hours a week (sees the kids for 15 min in the morning and comes home long after they are in bed) but I refuse to be a prisoner in my home! There are days when I don't know how I get through but somehow everyone is safe, fed, happy, and sleeping and tomorrow is another day.
To be blunt...and kinda snarky....I laugh at people who say it is "so hard" with their one kid. My SIL won't go to the grocery store with her 4 year old because it is too difficult. My kids are often pulling every magazine or candy bar off the shelf as I am unloading the cart to pay, someone is often crying or running around, snacks are being eaten, toys are being dropped and I still do it alone every time! I do discipline and we do have order/schedule in the house but they are toddlers so things are just a little out of control at times.
And you want to bring up "high needs" Both kids had colic, severe reflux for the first 9 months-1 year, sleep training was a nightmare but thankfully they STTN and nap great now, DD is constantly in motion...bouncing, jumping, climbing, sliding off furniture, and DS is into everything and has the touch of death breaking every toy we ever get! lol
My point is...find the positive in life, try to enjoy what you can and LIVE. Don't let your kid control and limit what you do. My close friend with 3u3 (twins and a toddler) said to me once "this is my life and they happen to live in it!"
I agree with this. I don't really understand the issue. All toddlers are on the move all the time. No, it's not easy to be on the go constantly chasing them, but that's part of the deal with parenting. If your sister's house is dirty, that's one thing. But cooping your kid up in a PnP for hours at your parents house because it's an open floor plan? What were you doing that you couldn't watch her/follow her to make sure she didn't get into things?
I am sorry for being judgmental, but I have no sympathy. It's tough, but zillions of parents have done it successfully before us. If you want to stay home and let your kid miss out on socialization and seeing family because it's too "tiring" for you to watch her, that's your prerogative. But like one pp said, you just have to do it. They won't need to be watched nonstop forever.
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
My LO has been walking since 11 months so he is all over the place, and honestly unless it is a "child" friendly event (early and other kids) if the hubby and I want to we get a sitter. I really am not big in bringing him, A.) Its not fun for him and B.) then it is less fun for me to be chasing him around.
LO hasn't even been to a restuarant with Hubby and I because I see it as a disaster and no fun, so why not get take out and stay home. We go out without him and have a calm night :-)
You are not alone.
Aren't you a peach. I have two kids, 19 months apart, and my younger started walking at 10 months. These girls never.stop.moving, even in their sleep some nights, so they sure are high energy. It still doesn't stop be from getting out with them, taking them to events, or enjoying time with our family. I find it actually more necessary with full of energy toddlers to get out and enjoy all those things. It just takes a little preparation and some teamwork with DH.
DD1 Feb 2010
DD2 Sept 2011
I think the more normal you make it now for your LO to be around other people, in new surroundings, testing & learning boundaries, the better you would be in the long run. It would be less of an adjustment later if they were always used to different environments and being a little bit outside of their comfort zone. As long as mom or dad is still within sight (for their comfort) and quick reach to prevent anything dangerous from happening (for their safety), give your LO some freedom & independence to explore and experience new things.
I'm not willing to budge much on sleep schedules, but I don't want to feel trapped at home. I feel like I might start to resent DD if that were the case. Pack a toy, a book, a sippy, and a little patience, and go have fun together!
I definitely feel you! We are taking LO to MIL's for Thanksgiving and my parents for Christmas, and while I'm so excited for her to spend time with family and make some memories, I keep thinking about how we're going to run after her for the 4-5 days we'll be in each of these places. DD also loves to run around and wants to get into everything, and both of these places have lots of knick knacks right at baby level!
It's exhausting to think about, and I'm sure it'll be exhausting to actually do, but know you're not alone, and I'm sure there'll be some enjoyment in there!
Good luck!
I agree. IMO the more you get out the easier it becomes. Sure you'll still have tantrums but that's life with kids.
Logan - 11/09, Lander 08/11, Baby #3 ~It's a girl!!~ EDD: 04/10/14