anyone with an infant too? — The Bump
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anyone with an infant too?

DS1 just turned 4 and DS2 is 8 months.  I'm so tired of constantly telling DS1... be gentle, quite pulling on him, keep your hands out of his mouth, be gentle, stop jumping over him, don't yank on him arm, quite screaming in his face, BE GENTLE!!  It is litterally constant and I don't know how to get it through to him that he is a baby and he can't be so rough with him.  What else can I do? 
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Re: anyone with an infant too?

  • Not yet, but DS2 is due just as DS1 will be turning 4. 

    We have cats, so DS has some experience in being told and reminded to be gentle and not to yell. He has also been told to be gentle when he is on me. Sometimes the message seems to get through, but it doesn't stick around for the long term.

    We will be moving into a house with a back yard just before the baby is due. DS lives for playing outside, so I'm hoping he can go wild and crazy out there for hours, while DS2 and I cuddle together from the porch or the other side of the window. 

    The big thing with DS is not letting his energy get pent-up. So playing outside, family walks, maybe DH or me taking him to the park for some serious run, jump, and climb time, while the other parent stays home with the baby. If DS can get his energy out, then he will be more able to have some low key fun around and with the baby. 

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  • I do, or did. We are now in the stage where baby is more rough most of the time. Pulling hair and grabbing toys...

    I did have to start putting DD in time out because she kept kicking him when he would get too close.

     

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  • Yes, it is a non-stop mantra of "be gentle," "not in his face," and "don't feed him that" around our house.  I tell her sometimes that he is a person, not a toy, and that makes her pause for a minute, but it doesn't really stop.  If you find the solution let me know!  I am so very sick of saying the same things over and over and over...
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  • At 4, I think he knows what he is doing. Otherwise he would be treating you or your H the same way. He can regulate this physical behavior, because there are already areas where he does so.

    Does he have a baby doll he can practice with? Does he like doing some of the more nurturing stuff for your younger child? 

    I have a zero tolerance policy for any sort of physical agression, only because I want DD to feel safe in her own home. Obviously DS will still attempt to occasionally push her and they squabble over toys, but nothing too serious.

    Whatever approach you decide, as long as your are consistent with your approach, he will learn how to interact with him without always being physical. I would also encourage him to try and interact in a playful physical way with his brother, with you right there to supervise. Show him how to tickle him, or play peekaboo, and then guide him when he starts to get too rough. 

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  • imageldcoffel:

    I do, or did. We are now in the stage where baby is more rough most of the time. Pulling hair and grabbing toys...

    I did have to start putting DD in time out because she kept kicking him when he would get too close.

     

    I swear we have the same kids....

    Mommy of two girls: DD1 4/14/9 DD2 4/15/11
    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/1zzndkl.jpg[/IMG]
  • Raises hand.

    Sounds like our house.

  • I have a 6 month old, 4 yr old and 5.5 yr old.  With the new baby we bought a playpen (remember those?).  I put the baby goes in the playpen and the older kids can't get to him.  Otherwise, I'm constantly reminding the girls to 'be gentle', 'no hands in his mouth', 'don't touch', etc..  I think sometimes you just have to keep the baby away from the preschooler so you can do other things and not worry about baby getting hurt.
  • imagehocus:

    We did time outs for the serious stuff but I ignore a certain level of rough housing for now (though my baby is older).  Have you considered something like 1,2,3 magic?

     

    What is 1, 2, 3 magic?

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