Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
SoxFan777
member
Re: Repeat C section or VBac?
I had a RCS. I chose it because 1. the closest hospital to me wont do VBAC, 2. I didn't want try for a VBAC only to end up with another CS and 3. I liked being able to plan for what to do with DD when I went into the hospital, I like being prepared.
I will say that I was induced which I believe is the cause for me ending up with a CS. The constipation happened with both births and I believe it happens to most women. The best thing to do is to start softeners and drink water and it will make it A LOT better.
I will say that if you think that you will regret not trying again then you should definitely try. Just keep an open mind just in case you are not able to deliver vaginally. I personally did not really care whether they got here through vaginal or caesarian. GL
I was majorly constipated after my c-section as well. I also had to have a suppository which I actually welcomed at that point. My hospital would not let me leave until they viewed my # 2. Seemed odd to me, but hey, whatever works for them. I didn?t want to go home all bloated anyway.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
I actually wasn't that constipated after my c/s. I went the day after I got home. No pain, no problems. But I was trying to eat as much fiber as possible, taking the stool softeners, and up walking as well.
As for VBAC vs C/S. It's really up to you. I'm currently pg and I would love to VBAC because I had a horrific c/s experience and I missed out on time with my son. I won't be able to, though, because I didn't wait the 18 months that the docs out here require. So for me, decision has been made to RCS.
BFP #1 5/07/11, DS 01/19/12
BFP #2 08/09/12, M/C 08/10/12
BFP #3 10/30/12, EDD 07/11/12...please stick!
I had a semi-scheduled section (no labor, scheduled the day before because of growth issues/twins) and the constipation was awful. I had to go with a suppository too and it was still awful and I wound up being engorged at the same time I was trying to have my first poop so I was super-miserable.
My plan is to try for a VBAC this time. Even though my section wasn't a horrible experience, I would like to avoid major surgery if possible. Good luck with whatever you decide!
***Twin fraternal girls born at 35w6d in 12/2008***
If your doctor is willing to do a VBAC - talk to him/her. I am currently 28.5 (ticker is wrong) & during my last appt I finally spoke to my Doc about my labor...and found out she is one of the FEW doctors that actually does VBAC's. She asked me a few questions about my first CS & at the end basically told me it was up to me.
With my son I was induced due to high blood pressure. I labored for about 24 hours, pushed for 3, his head would NOT come down, and at that point my pressure was up, i developed a fever & I actually begged for a CS. I physically was drained! Odd as it is - once I was in the OR, I actually felt some relief...knowing that my baby was almost here. Turns out he was 9.1lbs, 22 inches, and he was just NOT coming out! lol.
So my doctor basically told me that ultimately it was up to me whether I want a RCS or VBAC. Right now I have marginal placenta previa - & as long as that corrects itself by 32 weeks I'll have an option for both. After that she said at 37 they will do a sonogram to measure my little guy and see how big he is at the point....if he is close to 9lbs at that point, she recommends a RCS at 39, BUT if i want to wait to go naturally it is up to me.
I felt very good when I left her office knowing I had options. I honestly didn't think I would. I am still undecided...I in NO way regret my CS with my first, I am not the type of woman that doesn't think she gave BIRTH because it didn't come out my Hoo-Haa! I gave birth to my son....whoever doesn't think I did can basically screw themselves. Right now I am waiting for 32 weeks to see if my placenta has moved & i'll take it from there. I have looked into all options, done my research & hubby and I have spoken about it for hours. I still don't' know what I will choose, but at the end I know at least it'll be up to me.
After all my ramblings - just speak to your Doctor, see what your options are, do your research & make a choice that you can live with and not regret.