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Blended Families
+just+j+
member
I think we have an agreement.
+just+j+
member
So I think H and I have an agreement on the divorce and material things.
It's not so much that I want things, it's that I want it clear who gets what and what the agreement is so that while he's packing things up and moving things to his friend's place I know what he's taking, and what he agrees to leave. He even wants less than what I was willing to give him, so he will get more than he was expecting.
My only irritations is that my father loaned us money, and I put up some of my money to start the business with my own personal savings. The business survived, but barely, and now it's just time to shut it down. H thinks he should keep it all in order to continue to make money on the side. I am okay with this, but feel like my money is now really being thrown away. So I got him to agree to pay back half of the debt to my father. Lawyer's putting it in the agreement too, so if he does not pay - I get to go after him for the money. Dad was listed in the bankruptcy so dad can't pursue it, but now...I can! That is if H signs. He will more than likely not get a lawyer, but mine says that even if he did, more than likely he will not get much. He has a small chance.
There is also no way in hell that he will get 50/50 custody. Lawyer says with H's history and family, H has no chance of it. I have felony records on his son. I have medical papers from SD's diagnosis of mental instability, and then there is MIL's drug induced accident. I may even have H's aunt testimony that MIL is an addict if I need it. It's all in my favor. I do not have to worry about paying H alimony or child suppport.
My lawyers also think that I could potentially stay in this home up to a year. The bank is waiting for the bankruptcy to close before they file foreclosure. History has shown with other clients it takes them up to 6 months to do the paperwork and file. And then my lawyer says he can ask for an extension and delay it up to 6 months. This will be huge for me and I will save on a mortgage/rent. I can start paying my dad back, pay my school loans off that I've been deferring, and be 100% debt free! I will also feel like I have re-couped some of my losses dumping money into H and his family.
My god, how the stress and pressure seems to be so much less! I'm actually making plans to go travel a little. Nothing big, just very affordable trips to do some things I've not done since I've been burdened with everything and everyone else.
It will be nice to live again free of the guilt trips and insecurities of another dragging me down.
I can't tell you how much happier I am and how free I am already starting to feel. Imagine what it will be like when this is all done!
"he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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Re: I think we have an agreement.
You're doing great, hang in there!!
Unreasonable is relative. I'm still getting guilt trips and head games about my divorcing him. I have given up on him ever understanding or ever getting it.
Her other debt was to her Dad, I see why she does not want to leave him hanging for money he lent her.
You can?t put student loans into a bankruptcy. I?ve got a little bit left and I want it PAID.
As littlejen said, even tho dad is listed in the bankruptcy I still intend and can pay him back. H agreed to do this as well so we are going to try and right it in to the agreement. Still waiting to get a confirmation that we can do it without issue or being ?unfair? to our other debtors. If not, we are going to try and write it as H?s debt to me. Either way, I?m going to try and get that money from him to repay my dad. Doesn?t matter how it?s written as long as I can get H to pay some of it.