DD too small, CPS called. Fed up...please help

arcook0307 · November 2012

We moved in May when DD was almost 5 months old. She was born at 7lb 9oz but since then has been deemed a small/petite baby in general, not plumping up like most babies I see. We went to her 6 month appt. here in our new town where I expressed concern about her size/weight. The doctor said as long as she was gaining, she was fine. Well, I switched doctors (due to what I thought was poor care/judgement) and she saw someone new for her 9 month check up who diagnosed her with "failure to thrive". I expressed concern over her slow weight gain at this appt. too. He decided to refer us to a developmental specialist since Tricare did not cover a nutritionist, which was where he first wanted to send us. The developmental specialist showed me how DD was in the 50th percentile when born but has since gone to the 3rd percentile in weight for a 10 month old. By LAW he has to call child protective services due to this. I get it but it was very upsetting you feel like you could be so ignorant in feeding your child that you caused her not to gain weight....

I breastfeed and before this appt. she was also eating a lot of solids. Every one that knows us always comments on how she is always eating. In the last week since all the doctor's appts, I've realized my milk supply seems to have decreased drastically. I started supplementing with formula last week (to help her gain weight) and she is only breast feeding a total of 20-30 min a day and taking 15-17oz of formula and not really much solid food at all. I'm worried she's not getting enough food yet after she drinks 5 oz of formula, her tummy is so tight and she has spit up 3-4 times from being so darn full. I feel like she isn't eating what most babies her age eat and that she should be eating more.

I'm so frustrated. I don't want to overfeed her but there seem to be no set guidelines for what to feed a child her age. Please help....

lageorgiapaperie · November 2012

https://www.theaccidentalwallflower.com/2012/10/11-month-olds-eating-schedule.html

I recently did a blog about DS's eating habits. He is a little older than your DD but he's been on this schedule for a while now. Just this week I replaced his afternoon bottle with about 8oz. of WCM though, so now he just gets 8oz of formula a day. DS is in the 50th % for weight, 90th % for height.

HTH, and good luck with your DD, hope she starts gaining weight!

buddrfly421 · November 2012

I know how you feel! We are dealing with something similar. DS is small for his age...he goes between the 5th percentile and the 10th usually. He eats a TON, and breastfeeds, and we give him WCM a couple times a day. He has never lost weight, but they always treat us like he isnt being fed. I am guessing you are also military since you have tri care? (DH is in the Army...so we get to deal with those lovely military doctors

) I know DS is healthy, he has always gained weight (even if its just small amounts), and he hits all his milestones so I am not worried. We go to weight check ups every 2-4 weeks which is a pain, but like I said I try not to stress over it anymore. I just think its weird that according to my doctor there is no such thing as a small baby. You can PM if you ever need to vent or anything!

arcook0307 · November 2012

Thank you for the blog post. I really like your blog!

And yes, we are military. I forgot to mention she is only 14 pounds at 10 months if that helps any.

MesmrEwe · November 2012

So much of the time things like this bug the H out of me because "mandatory reporting" then the HELL that CPS puts parents through just out of assumption is uncalled for and undo stress! DS had a freak accident his first day home from the hospital and we went through this with CPS. Here's hoping instead of blaming you they realize that some babies are just more efficient with what their intake is!!

As long as you know that you're feeding your LO as much as they'll take in that's all you can do. As for the hard tummy, you might want to try a different formula to one of the sensitive options. It's not as easily digested as BM but at least with DS it was easier on him and he had far less spitup.

ellimac608 · November 2012

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with CPS. My mom told me all her babies were small and that she had to be put on WIC. My dad is French and she tried to tell them that's why and that it was not from lack of feeding us. She saved my baby book and at 10 months I was 14lbs 6oz and 26.5 in. (My DD was 20 lbs at 10 months! She is almost 1, and she eats about 18 oz formula and maybe 10-12oz food) I'm sure you are feeding her enough...my parents also joked that my sisters and I didn't like to eat very much when we were younger and now we are perfectly healthy adults. Hang in there! I'm sure that if CPS does investigate, they will see that you are a great mommy and doing everything you can.

Jen0204 · November 2012

You can't really compare what your daughter eats to other babies her age because she needs to gain weight. 15-17oz of formula a day isn't a lot (from what little research I've done it seems like 18oz is the minimum), but you also don't know how much she's getting from breastfeeding. I don't know anything about TriCare, but do they cover lactation consultants? If you go to see one they could weigh your LO before and after a feeding to help figure out how much she's getting from nursing, and they could help you increase your supply.

My girls were preemies and have always been on the small side, and until recently their size and how much they were eating was always a huge concern for me. I'm so sorry that your previous doctors didn't have their act together. There is no way that you should be getting a diagnosis of failure to thrive now when you've been expressing concern about her size all along and have been given no guidance - that makes me so angry for you! I agree with others that a sensitive formula might help, but also keep in mind that it could take her body some time to adjust to having formula and to adjust to drinking until full if there was previously an issue with your supply. It sounds like before she was eating solids to get full, and now she's filling up on formula instead, which could be good and help her gain weight. And if your supply is poor and BFing is adding additional stress for you don't feel guilty about stopping - do whatever you need to in order to help her gain weight and make you feel better, whether it's exclusively FFing or BFing and supplementing.

Is this doctor one that you trust? I would definitely call him for guidance on how much she should be eating and if it's okay that she's not really eating solids now. What is the plan going forward? Do you have appointments for weight checks scheduled? In the beginning we were at the doctor every week for weight checks. Going weekly allowed us to come up with a game plan and see quickly if it was working or not, make adjustments, and move forward.

Good luck!

PrimRoseMama · November 2012

CPS frightens me, and the mandatory reporting thing is equally frightening. DD was born at 6lbs 11oz. She is still small but has been consistent in her weight gain. I'm sorry you are going through this.

I would see if she will eat some fortifying solids like avocados, greek yogurt, bananas. DD is a cheese eating monster. So see if she'll take cheese. She may just have a high metabolism. DD always seems to be eating too. Snack snack snack.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope the CPS investigation is over quickly.

Leap08 · November 2012

My oldest daughter has always been a light weight. She was 5lbs 6oz at birth. At 1 year she weighed just under 19lbs. At nearly 3, she's about 28lbs. And she's always been relatively tall - usually around the 80%. Most of the time she's stayed on her own growth curve, but at one point she dropped a few weight percentiles and was at about the 8%. I thank God for our wonderful doctor who never really showed concern about it. He actually calmed me down and convinced me to stop worrying. We did talk about how we could boost her caloric intake. I started giving her more fats as solids - things like avocados, greek yogurts, cheese. I also use generous amounts of olive oil when cooking, and will put a generous amount of butter on toast or waffles. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think there is only so much you can do. You can't force a baby to eat. Don't be too hard on yourself. Some kids/babies are just small.

Rosebud2587 · November 2012

arcook0307:
Thank you for the blog post. I really like your blog!
And yes, we are military. I forgot to mention she is only 14 pounds at 10 months if that helps any.

I had a post similar to this a few months ago. We are also military and also have a petite baby. DD isn't even on the charts. She's 11.5 months and 15 lbs. We are supposed to do monthly weigh ins but I never go. I know my daughter is healthy and thriving she's just a very active baby. She started walking before 9 months. I still nurse her about 8x/day (including night feedings) and I make sure to feed her foods such as full fat yogurt, avocados, tofu, etc to make sure she gets healthy fat/calories and protein. We haven't had CPS called on us but maybe that's because I refuse to go to the monthly weigh ins...

superpregnant · November 2012

I don't have any advice but just wanted to tell you that I support you and I hope you get through this!, I wish this Dr's where more empathetic with parents and apply more of the common sense and actively listen to the parents instead on focusing of following their stupid charts which only cause more stress to parents, everybody is different, and they should lean more towards that than anything,

Sending my prayers to you and your DD!

rlyttle · November 2012

Can you start offering more snacks in between her large meals? Try stuff with high fat/calories.

-avocados

-yogurt

-cheese

kali55 · November 2012

Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this. Talk about stressful!

I agree with PP about offering cheese and avocado.

jburdet1 · November 2012

I second not to worry about overfeeding. DD was ebf until 2 months and then continued to receive bm until 3 months. At her 2 month appt, DD was only 8 lbs and her birth weight was 7 lbs. Once I began supplementing, she began growing and since then has been in the high 90's for both length and weight.

DD drinks about 20 oz of formula a day, eats about 25 oz of baby food, a handful of puffs, and eats bits of DH and my food throughout the day.

I'm sure I may be overfeeding, but I'm comfortable feeding DD on demand.

I would try to increase DD's formula intake if she isn't interested in solids yet. My DD just began really eating solids well, and before that she was drinking 35-40 oz of formula. However, I would still keep offering the solids and allow her to taste what you're eating.

GL!

octbride1234 · November 2012

So sorry you are going through this. I agree with some of the others, I would try to increase the amount of formula she is getting at each feeding, start off with adding an extra ounce and see how she does. I personally see no harm in giving her up to 8-9oz at a time if she will take it. Also, if you are worried she is not getting enough food after she drinks,try waiting an hour after each bottle before giving her solids. Some higher calorie/fat/protein snacks: Avocado with bananas, sweet potatoes, soft cooked beans & edamame, orzo pasta, cheese, whole milk baby yogurt, eggs, sometimes I would put baby cereal like Barley in her veggie or fruit purees just to make it a little more filling too, I would make a quick version of bread pudding, in a bowl put a slice of bread without the crust, warm formula or warm milk and some cinnamon and mash it up, sometimes I would add a mashed banana too, they loved eating that. .... good luck!!

sassyfirechick · November 2012

I would say if she's spitting up the formula she either can't handle dairy and feeding more will do her no good, or her stomache just isnt' that big so feeding more per meal, well, will do no good! Frequent small meals are better in the long run for any baby. My daughter was opposite in weight gain - up til 6mos she was off the charts at 99% and up, but since then hasn't gained as much weight, just slow and steady and lots of height. She's turning a yr and is 23lb and something like 28". People will always criticize. I HATED being told I had a chubby baby - talk about starting kids early on self esteem and weight! Chances are your LO will just be petite. Offer her lots of foods, or if you're worried she can't eat enough at once leave out a snack tray for her that she can get to when ever she's hungry and remind her it is there if she gets wrapped up playing.

Healthy fats: avocado, nuts, coconut oil, flax seeds, tofu, salmon

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DD too small, CPS called. Fed up...please help

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