First Time Dad In Need Of Some Advice
Sorry for the intrusion ladies but I'm hoping some of you pro's can sort of guide us in the right direction.
First, I am 46 and my g/f is 40. She currently has two children from a prior marriage but this will be my first. After lurking for a few weeks now to try and gain some knowledge and understanding of what to expect I have found myself kind of at a crossroads with my g/f's OB.
A little background information first. My g/f went to her OB on 10/17/2012 to have a pregnancy test performed after missing her last period which was due on 10/05/2012. She received confirmation that she was pregnant so the doc did the whole background thing on her and I and told her to come in the following week for an ultrasound. The following week, we went in for the ultrasound and the tech dated her to be a little over seven weeks pregnant. While performing the ultrasound the tech found a gestational sac with just a small, what looked like a grain of rice inside. The tech asked us if maybe we had the dates wrong because she should be farther along than what the u/s showed. So, after the u/s was finished we were led into an office around the corner where the doc came in and told us that she had a blighted ovum and that she wanted to discuss our options with us. We were told to come back the following week for one last u/s and to make an appointment with another doc who would perform the d/c. After leaving the office we were both devastated by the news but to me something just didn't seem right. So fast forward to today. We went in for what we thought would be our last u/s only to find our little bean with a heartbeat. The tech seemed caught off guard once she saw it as we were. The emotional swing was quite a bit to take in for the both of us. The tech had told us our bean had 73 bpm and then dated her to be about five weeks and one day pregnant. The doc was not in the office today and my g/f was told to call tomorrow to find out what to do next.
So, here is my dilemma ladies. I am wondering if it makes sense to switch to a different OB. After reading post after post about hcg levels and what not, it seems as though these levels should be monitored especially with a woman in her 40's correct? She has never had her blood drawn, no betas, no nothing. It just seems as if you go in,,the do an u/s, take your money and say we'll see you next week. I don't feel comfortable with this OB and since this will be my first child I want only the best care for my g/f and hope to be first child, so I'm left wondering if we should switch OB's or stick it out with our current one. My g/f has been going there for her normal checkups for years now so she's not sure if we should switch. Thank You all for taking the time to read this and for your suggestions.
Re: First Time Dad In Need Of Some Advice
A) Welcome to the board! And congratulations!
C) My personal and professional opinion is that you both feel comfortable with the doctor who's caring for your gf and little bean. As an admittedly biased person (I'm a woman after all, and very territorial about my body), I do believe that the woman's opinion and comfort level with her doc is more important than yours, but that is not to say your opinion shouldn't count either. (And I think it's AWESOME that you are so protective of both your gf and your baby already-- good man!) Have you spoken to your gf about this? I would definitely bring up point B above if she's on the fence. I just feel it's absolutely crucial that you and she both trust the medical professional who will be guiding you through this very exciting-- and also scary!-- journey!
Good luck! And again-- congratulations!
<br /> My Ovulation Chart</a>
First I think its great that you are concerned and seeking advice this way. I too had a blighted ovum. At the time I should have been 8 weeks and it was a completely empty black sac so it was no question. It sounds like your dates were off and luckily you did find a heartbeat today, that is great news!
Alot of OBs don't do betas if there is no loss history, I don't know if age factors in for that or not. At this point I would just expect her to wait a week and get another ultrasound to confirm growth.
If you aren't comfortable with your doctor then absolutely find someone you are comfortable with. I don't think what you have described seems negligent though in any way. Doctors don't always get it right with their diagnosis of early pregnancy. They did the right thing by waiting a week to make sure and get another ultrasound.
I have found through 3 losses that this is really out of my control and what will be will be. All the bloodwork and ultrasounds in the world aren't going to keep a pregnancy viable. I hope all continues to go well for you and your g/f
BFP #1 - missed m/c 4.18.11 found @8w3d, d&c @13w
BFP #2 blighted ovum found 8.2011 @8w, misoprostol
BFP#3 - missed m/c 6.11.12 @ 9w3d, d&c revealed extra chromosome 15
BFP#4 8.10.12, DD born 4/26/13
Thank You all for taking the time to read our story and for your advice! I guess the OB we are currently seeing does not do deliveries any longer and they refer you to another doctor for that. After talking it over between us and my g/f's mom, we have decided to make a switch to an OB my g/f's mom had recommended to us. The new OB's office is next door to the hospital my g/f would like to deliver in as well so it's a bonus for us.
Once again,,thank you all for your advice and hope you all have a Healthy and Happy 9 months!!