WWYD early announcement to family? **Updated***
Ok need some opinions. I am in my cousins wedding next summer and will be 8 months pregnant if all goes well. My cousin is aware of my loss and that I will probably be pregnant at her wedding. The bridesmaid dress fitting is next weekend and OOT. I am going. I have some anxiety over fitting into the slim fitting bridesmaid dress, even with alterations. The final dress order is due middle December. I mentioned to DH about telling my cousin when I went down next week so I could hash out the details of the dress with the bridal shop and hopefully not feel as anxious about it. DH doesn't want me to because he thinks too many people from my family will be around and the cat will be let out of the bag before we even told our parents. I understand this, so I suggested we call them this weekend and break the news. They are OOT. DH still wasn't crazy about the idea. Would you pretend to not be pregnant and then just call the bridal shop in December? Or would you tell now? I am also just talking about letting family know. We don't plan on announcing to friends, work, etc for a looooong time. Edit: I will be 6 weeks at the fitting. And the bridal party is HUGE so I don't know how much alone time I will get.
Update: I decided to give the bridal shop a call and they said they gave me some options on how to deal with ordering the dress (extra length and a bigger size, and then extra material if it still doesn't fit). They said they deal with this all the time and they don't think it will be a problem fitting into an altered dress at 8 months pregnant. This makes me feel MUCH better. I think I am going to tell my cousin, and then wait to the rest of my family 2 weeks later at Thanksgiving. Thanks everyone!
BFP#2 6/29/12 - M/C 7/23/12. BFP#3 10/26/2012 - EDD 7/09/2012 - U/S 11/20 with HB of 156, U/S 11/27 with HB 180!
Re: WWYD early announcement to family? **Updated***
I would tell them now. You don't want to be a thorn in the side of the shop, or cause additional expense by risking a rush order/extra fitting. You can give a discrete note if you're worried about eavesdroppers. Put "SECRET" in bold at the top, and maybe they can pull you aside to discuss what's needed.
Personally, we've been telling family as soon as we get a BFP. They enjoy being excited with us, and are aware that it may be fleeting. We originally weren't going to tell anyone until 2nd tri for BFP#2, but decided it would be good for "staying positive". (Plus, I have horrible fatigue and nausea, and our families are local and aren't stupid. :P )
BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
Natural Miscarriage 8/4/2012 at 7 weeks
BFP #2 10/26/12 - Baby Jack - Due 7/6/13 - Born 6/7/13
(born prematurely at 35w 6d, perfectly healthy with no NICU time needed)
Yes, I don't think this will be a problem. I already told her before my BFP that I was worried about how to order in case I got pregnant.
I'm with you. We originally said we weren't going to tell anyone until well into 2nd tri. That changed the minute we got a BFP. I was so excited and nervous that I NEEDED to share the news. Our friends know about our loss and were really a great support system. If Gd forbid something happens again I would want them all to know.
As for the bridal party dilemma, I'm in the same boat....sort of. Our fitting was supposed to be December 9th for a June 1st wedding. June 1st I will be 9 months! I would suggest pulling the sales associate aside and explaining the situation. Are you all wearing the same dress? If so, you may HAVE to tell your cousin as the dress she has chosen may not be able to be altered into maternity. You may need a different dress. If you do tell her, just remind her how personal it is and how important it is that she keep quiet.
Good luck!
I would call the bride, tell her directly, make it very clear that you are not telling anyone else yet but are telling her because of the fitting.
For the sake of saving face in front of the rest of the bridal party, I would probably still go and try on the same dresses they are. But, maybe your cousin will already have an idea for you in regard to a dress solution (i.e. choosing a different dress in a more maternity-style, or something along those lines) since she already has a good idea that you will probably be pregnant at the time.
I would see what suggestions she has, maybe she will have you wait a while longer before choosing a dress size, or maybe she will make arrangements for you and her to go alone to a separate dress fitting another time, something like that.
You say OOT, but how OOT are they? If it's within an hour or two, it shouldn't be a problem to make another appt. another time for just the two of you.
And trust me, I was in a wedding at 7 months pregnant with DS, and while we did have to change the entire structure of the dress, it is absolutely amazing what a seamstress can do.
Good luck!
BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
Our little man is getting bigger every day!
My BFP Chart