BIL Vent - worried about keeping my sanity!

Hello fellow bloggers!    My husband and I both work demanding jobs and have an 8  month old son.    While our son is the joy of our lives, we have had a lot of other personal and professional challenges and stressors in our life lately that have put a strain on our marriage.    My husband started his own business after we relocated three years ago and I have been the primary breadwinner since our move.    My company is reorganizing and going through layoffs so it had meant an increase of work in the evenings and sometimes weekends after putting DS to bed.   DH has been working crazy hours to try to help with our finances, but it leaves little family time and very very little couple time.

 That said, my BIL is planning to relocate to NC from South FL and wants to live within 10 minutes from us.    My BIL is not respectful of my home and space when he visits.   I went on a business trip in September when he was visiting to come home to a house that was a mess.   Him lounging on my couch, eating chips, drinking a gallon of rum and coke in a few days and otherwise making himself comfortable without a clue that he is a pig.   He also has had finance troubles in the past and has asked DH for money for an online gambling debt.     He had a good job in South FL but was let go.   He is now on a two month vacation and spending $$$$ like there is no tomorrow.   He plans to move to an expensive apt here and doesn't have a job or prospect of one.    He didn't go to collage and doesn't have any idea what he will do.    That said - I feel like my DH and I have enough issues and having his brothers issues become our problem may push me over the edge.

I was told by my MIL that BIL currently spends most of his off time alone on the couch eating and drinking, but he now expects to spend a lot of time (as much as possible) with us after relocating.    He also wants to spend a lot of time with our son.    I am most concerned on this front too because BIL is very immature and ADd and I don't think I would EVER trust him alone as a babysitter.  He and my DH once let go of baby's stroller going down a hill on a busy city street when they were walking in front of me.    They started jogging along side of the stroller but were not holding on.    I yelled at both of them and grabbed the stroller before anything could happen but BIL lost my trust forever.   Also was not happy that DH seems to act like an idiot at times whn BIL is around..  

 I know this is long, but just wanted to provide some background.    I decided to talk to DH last night about the fact that I would like to set boundaries when BIL moves here next month.    I basically said that I don't want unannounced visits and that if he really screws up and can't find a job and pay his bills that he can't move in with us.    I choose my words carefully and tried to explain my feelings in a sensitive way to DH.    However, he was still dissapointed and felt like I was being unnecessarily worried and that this wasn't even worth discussing yet.    I felt like it was a better idea to let him know how I felt before we potentially end up with a mooching, lazy irresponsible squatter that wants to infringe on the precious little free time we have as a family.     After a long discussion I think he finally understands how I feel, but don't have a good feeling that he plans to have any discussion with BIL or plans to set any boundaries - just see how it goes.    From prior visits I am pretty sure what will happen without intervention and it will lead to a lot of stress.     Not sure what to do not but wait until he comes and try to put my foot down or maybe be a little bitchy when BIL tries to take over my home.    

I know this is long, but thanks for listinging to me vent.   I have not been able to sleep the last few days thinking about this.   Also should note that the MIL and FIL came to visit last weekend and told me more about BIL's issues and their own worries about him relocating without a job prospect and financial concerns.    I just want to focus on my family and and keep my sanity.    At this point it feels like it will have to get worse before it gets better.      I see him dropping by unannounced all the time and expecting to take over my couch, tv and kitchen and I may lose it before DH does anything to help.

I am open to any suggestions or advice!   Thanks.