- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Adoption
Going through a really hard time
My FIL has been battling pancreatic cancer for two years and we just found out that it has spread to his lungs. He is leaving tomorrow for AZ (from MI) to see if he can get on a new trial treatment at Mayo. It looks like this may be FIL's last Christmas. DH is a mess and so am I. Between our adoption and FIL's cancer we are feeling so exhausted and emotional. We are also worried about MIL as this has obviously been really hard on her.
FIL's dad died from this cancer when FIL was a young man and he met his first grandchild (a boy) once before he died. FIL called DH yesterday and said through tears he thinks the same thing is going to happen to him... that our son will come home and FIL will only meet him once and then die.
DH and I are so stressed and we don't know what to do. For attachment purposes, flying out to AZ with our son only one month after he comes home is far from ideal. However this is probably FIL's last Christmas and we really want him to meet DS and have Christmas together one last time. It feels like an impossible decision.
I know people probably won't have advice, but did anyone travel with their adopted toddler so soon after coming home? I have no idea what we should do. We will probably have to decide last minute. Prayers for wisdom appreciated.
TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
SA February 2011: Normal
RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI
Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption
Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
Court trip October 2012
Home November 24 2012!
Back to RE Summer 2013. TTC journey continues:
Dx DOR, endometriosis, low sperm count
Clomid + IUI#1, #2 = BFN / IUI #3 = ???
Laparoscopy scheduled December 2013
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Going through a really hard time
TTC since March 2010, BFP #1 11.09.10, ectopic, m/c 12.14.10 (10w)
Clomid + TI=BFN, IUIs 1-6= BFN
Application for domestic adoption submitted 4/18/12, matched 8/12/12, DD born 10/31/12
Oh Jill, I'm so sad for your family! Prayers for healing are being sent to Heaven for your FIL!
Obviously that's not ideal, but kids can do a LOT of bonding in a month (or even a few weeks!). There is hope that even though his routine will be knocked out of whack, he'll cling to you during the stressful time.
I'll also pray your little guy will bond supernaturally quickly to you!
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
Thank you that is a wonderful prayer.
TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
SA February 2011: Normal
RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI
Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption
Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
Court trip October 2012
Home November 24 2012!
Back to RE Summer 2013. TTC journey continues:
Dx DOR, endometriosis, low sperm count
Clomid + IUI#1, #2 = BFN / IUI #3 = ???
Laparoscopy scheduled December 2013
Sorry for all you have been going through. Sending prayers your way.
No personal experience with taking a toddler on a plane, esp. after adoption. Maybe after the Russia trip, he will be so used to it and think you guys are jetsetters!
No advice here, just prayers. ((HUGS))
I have no advice, but I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer 8 years ago this November. If it were me, I would make the trip if not for YFIL than for YH and YS. It's a nasty disease and it would probably mean a lot to him to meet his grandson.
best of luck in your decision.
6 medicated cycles, 2 pregnancies, 1 ectopic April 2011, Early Miscarriage August 2011
7 more cycles, 1 IUI, No success after last pregnancy
7/1/2012 No more fertility coverage
8/17/2012 started pursuing domestic infant adoption!
11/26/2012 HOME STUDY APPROVED!!!
When relaxing didn't work is my new blog!
Oh Jillian- I am so sorry. I will keep your FIL in our prayers. Mayo Clinic has some AMAZING results with their trials, so many prayers that he is accepted!
If you do venture out here, please, please let me know if you need anything. I know with your son just coming home, it will be stressful, so if I can help you with supplies (for DS), bringing your family (& FIL) a meal, please don't hesitate to ask.
Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.
^^^^^Ditto!!!^^^^
I don't live in Phoenix anymore but my family does and we will be there for Christmas. I would be more than happy to help out with meals if you are there. If there's anything else I can do, please let me know.
Mayo is wonderful and I hope that your FIL feels the healing love there. Praying for your entire family right now!
Ditto.
I'm so sorry for this difficult situation! I can't imagine the stress you guys must feel right now. That's so hard. I have no idea what I'd do either. Probably travel, despite the craziness.
At least you can try Skype during those first weeks so that your LO will recognize them a little, and FIL can see him more than once. DD is 18 months, and she figured out how Skype works pretty quickly. She talks to the camera, holds toys up to show her grandparents, and asks to call people regularly.
Once again, so sorry for this hard time. Praying for you and your family!
Our Adoption Blog & Fundraising Efforts
Heading to China in November 2014 to bring our son home!
Ditto what Jenn said. If you do come out here please let us know what we can do to help.
Also sending you good thoughts and love. No advice either, but I do agree that kids are resilient and I hope everything goes smoothly.