Find out the gender or no? — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Find out the gender or no?

I got bad news today and will be going in for a D&C tomorrow (or later this week). Did any of you opt to find out the gender and if so, did you find it helpful? I'm leaning towards finding out, but not sure if it will make me feel better or worse.

Re: Find out the gender or no?

  • I did find out the gender and my sweet angel was a girl. Right now it hurts so bad I can't stand it. I always wanted a girl and I feel like my chance was stolen from me. With that said, I really think it will give me closure in the future. MH and I both agreed it was the best choice long term for us. I am so sorry you are going through this.
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  • I never got the chance to, but ic I did I probably would so I could give the LO a gender specific name.

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  • I am so sorry you are going through this. I think that if I was farther along and had to get a D&C I would like to find out the gender. On the other hand I haven't had to deal with that so my advice is probably not super helpful.

  • We didn't find out. I wasn't given that as an option, so I'm not sure it was even possible given how far along the embryo was (6 weeks).

    I am glad I don't know, personally. I think knowing would make it harder for me. 

    First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  I was not able to find out because we opted not to do chromosomal testing, but before surgery I told them if there was any way they could tell I would like to know.  
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