Potty training question — The Bump
Pre-School

Potty training question

I want to know if anyone has had a similar experience as me - everyone I know IRL potty trained their girls when they're like two months old...

My girl just turned three.  She's been pooping in the toilet for a long long time now (I'd take her when she looked like she wanted to go, but it hasn't been too long since she actually says she needs to poop).  But I just can't get her to stay dry.  I haven't worried too much because I use cloth diapers and it's not costing me much, but now I'm worried as she's three years old.  She knows what to do when I put her on the toilet, and I've set an alarm to take her every hour, but before the hour is up she's always wet her diaper.

Sigh.  I'm so frustrated and discouraged, I don't know if she's just not ready.  But she's THREE!!  I've read that one of the signs that she's ready is if she stays dry for a couple hours at a time and that's not the case. Should I just keep trying?  Or back off? 

Re: Potty training question

  • It sounds like her bladder just hasn't developed enough to hold the pee yet. Does she drink a lot of liquids?
    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
  • Not more than what she should I guess, about 10oz milk through the morning, and then a 7oz sippy or two through lunch & dinner, plus fruits.  Doesn't seem like a lot to me.

    If she's not holding the pee, should I not be trying to potty train her? 

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  • Personally I would take her out of diapers. I'd go cold turkey with big girl panties so that she knows when she's wet and can start associating the sensations with the outcome. It may be that she could hold her pee longer she just doesn't have the motivation to do so. If she's in panties she may want to avoid being wet more.
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  • I'd take her diapers off.
    promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am
  • imageju.vanderw:

    Not more than what she should I guess, about 10oz milk through the morning, and then a 7oz sippy or two through lunch & dinner, plus fruits.  Doesn't seem like a lot to me.

    If she's not holding the pee, should I not be trying to potty train her? 

    I think that's pretty close to what my 2 yo drinks, maybe a bit more. She will hold it for hours though, especially if she doesn't want to use the potty after I suggest it. I'd say she easily goes 2-3 hours.

    I agree with the others who said I'd try undies full time for a few days and see if she starts to get it. If you don't have any success after that, you may want to talk to your pedi.

    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
  • Try taking her every half hour.
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  • She was in training diapers...  But if you go completely underwear, do you just let her wet her clothes every hour everyday??  Also, what about naps and at night?  I thought you only put no diapers on once they're somewhat trained..
  • We left DD2 (and DD1 for that matter) naked.  I think we have had about 3 accidents since August (she wears underwear now).  I put her in diapers for nap and bed.  Actually I was really lazy about it (she's the one who wanted to PT) and would put her in diapers when we went out and she would pee in them but then when I left her naked, she would go in the potty.  Once she was going in the potty pretty consistantly being naked, I started putting underwear on her.  Eventually I got brave enough to put her in underwear when we go out.  I do have about 4 extra outfits in the diaper bag though.  I think we are pretty far from night training since she wakes up soaked but I am comfortable enough to let her with other people in underwear. 
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  • We use diapers for naps and bedtime. DD2 usually wakes up dry from her naps. She's soaked in the morning. When we started with undies, I bought plastic covers to help contain the mess until her accidents were smaller.
    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
  • Back off, she is not ready.  I found that the more I pushed, the less interested my girls were.  My older DD trained at 2 years 9 months and my younger DD could have pee trained at 16 months but refused to poop in the potty so it was right before her 3rd birthday that she started wearing undies and even then, it was about 6 months before she went accident free for longer than a week or so.  She was the kid who just never wanted to stop what they were doing for free that someone else would take the toy (at daycare) or just plain miss something.  When I pushed her, she refused to go but when I backed off and just didn't talk about it, she went.  I put her in pull-ups at around 2 1/2 during the day so she could go if she wanted on her own without needing help.  She knew it was not a diaper per say and called it her big girl diaper and she knew that if she started keeping it dry, she would get her big girl undies but we left it at that.  It gave her independance in this and I knew she would go if she wanted and if she didn't, oh well, it would not make a mess.  Once she was really ready, she was great. 
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • imageju.vanderw:
      But if you go completely underwear, do you just let her wet her clothes every hour everyday??  Also, what about naps and at night?  I thought you only put no diapers on once they're somewhat trained..
    Sitting in wet undies never worked for my younger DD as an FYI - I find that this option is gross and only makes a mess personally.  No one that I know IRL had success with this or the 3 day method that people on here swear by.  When kids are ready they train plain and simple.  3 years old is not uncommon to be not potty trained yet these days.  At my girls old day care the kids could move up to the 3 year old room only once they were potty trained and they had a decent number of kids held back for this reason.  As far as nights and naps, they have nothing to do day training and should not be treated the same.  Keep her in diapers or pull-ups (or whatever you use) while she is sleeping until she wakes up dry or wakes herself to go potty.  Kids are often not night trained until a year more after day training takes place.  My younger DD did not night train until just before she turned 4 and she was basically day trained at 3.  My older DD was the exception in that she night trained first.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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