September 2011 Moms

Something a little personal

Something a little personal

My parents got divorced when I was in college and my mom got remarried fairly quickly to an older man, who has since passed away. Lots of drama there, because his kids are greedy, rude, and plain ole dumb. But that's another story.

My dad has dated a bit and has been with someone for a couple years, who is my age! Ok, 2 years older... When he first told me about her, I asked where she went to high school, and it was not mine, I didn't know her. I think that made it easier, since it wasn't somebody I knew. I decided I want him to be happy, so I would accept her, but I still feel a little weird about it. I guess it's hard for me to understand how someone wouldn't want kids. My dad has been fixed. She is always good with mine, but there are none in her future.

I feel like she is shy around me, or maybe feeling judged, even though I try to include her. Truth is, i feel judged when we are out. i dont know how to introduce her...Does anybody have a similar experience.  Are my feelings of being awkward still valid?

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Re: Something a little personal

  • Wow, you have a right to feel awkward - definitely valid. I would have trouble with my dad being with someone my age, it would just feel weird.

    For introductions, do you know what she would prefer to be called? I would probably introduce her as your dad's girlfriend or partner.

    On the being judged side, I'm not sure what your question is. Do you think other people judge your group because your dad's gf is really young? Or is she judging you for having children?


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  • I bet that would be a little awkward. That's nice that you choose to let them be happy. 

     

    Well it's not about me...

    One of my best friends started dated this guy who is in his mid 40s. Well he just got divorced and has 4 children (all girls)-- two are gone to college, 2 are in high school. My friend by the way is around the same age as one of his daughters. Lets just say *** is going to hit the fan when his family finds out... They already have their marriage drama from what I have heard. Right now they are keeping things a secret....

     

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  • Oh my gosh, my parents are in almost identical situations to yours, except my stepdad is younger than my mom and is alive. But my dad's girlfriend is 3 or 4 years older than my older sister (we are 19 months apart so we're all fairly close in age). To add to the awkwardness, my sister, dad, and his girlfriend all used to work together! My sis has since switched to a different department in a separate building, thank goodness. My dad is not "fixed" but I know he will never have more children, and his gf has none of her own. Honestly I don't see them ever getting married, probably my dads choice more than his gf.  The thing I try to focus on is if they're happy that is all that matters. I will admit that it is awkward at times, but just try to brush it off, make the gf feel as comfortable as possible, and carry on. We don't go out all that often together so I guess I don't feel judged about it much. When other family members (my moms side) say something (which they typically are curious more than anything), I just kind of say "eh whatever makes them happy!" and move on. 
  • I usually just introduce her with her name, and no label. This is my dad, K-, and S-.

    I don't know why I feel judged. Maybe thats not the right word, maybe just awkward, or confusing to people who don't know us.

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  • I have no experience, but you have every reason to feel weird lol.

    H works with a guy, who is older than we are, I think he is 47, anyway he has 2 kids that are around their mid 20s, his wife is in her mid 20s also! I find it weird when we go to their home, she's really nice and he is too but you know, it's like she's as old as your daughter!!  

    oa1
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  • imageldcoffel:

    I usually just introduce her with her name, and no label. This is my dad, K-, and S-.

    I don't know why I feel judged. Maybe thats not the right word, maybe just awkward, or confusing to people who don't know us.

    our dads and their girlfriends also have the same initials, I feel like I'm in the twilight zone! Lol.  

  • imagecarolyn6609:
    imageldcoffel:

    I usually just introduce her with her name, and no label. This is my dad, K-, and S-.

    I don't know why I feel judged. Maybe thats not the right word, maybe just awkward, or confusing to people who don't know us.

    our dads and their girlfriends also have the same initials, I feel like I'm in the twilight zone! Lol.  

    hehe, perfect for Halloween! 

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