frustrated vs ppd

CnAnA · October 2012

At what point is frustration/sleep deprivation/anger/resentment PPD? Where is the line? I feel like a terrible mother half the time and a terrible wife the other half. Alice is at the fussy age and I am not dealing well. Oh by fussy I mean screaming bloody murder. I know its normal but I still feel like a bad mom since I can't fix it.

I just hate everything right now. Then again I have had high pitched banshee screaming in my ear for the last 25 minutes. That may have something to do with my mood.

Scooby2358 · October 2012

Big ((hugs)) to you. It is just so rough early on, especially with the screaming. The noise seems to just rattle around in your brain.

I don't have experience with PPD, but if you are wondering about it, maybe it's worth looking into. Is your OB/PCP attentive to your mood, or would they be willing to refer you to someone for evaluation?

Hang in there. The screaming will stop, and it makes a HUGE difference when it does. You are a great mom; if you weren't, you wouldn't be worried about it! And as far as being a good wife - you are taking care of your baby, and that's the most important "wife" job you can do right now.

IEtoLA · October 2012

I responded to one of the lady's posts on Oct2012 about this same issue yesterday. I have a history with depression so they actually had a mental health rep/social worker come and see me to see how I was feeling. She told me it was normal to have "baby blues" and my emotions to be all over the place in the beginning but after 2 weeks it should improve. If not, she said I needed to call their mental health department and they could do an intake to see if I did have PPD or other stuff going on. She gave me a number to call if I continued to feel depressed or anxious. She said at any point though, if I felt like hurtng myself or the baby to call. What you are sharing sounds normal. For me I feel like I just started getting upset/ emotional about stuff the last day or two, but we'll see how it goes. it wouldn't hurt to call and speak to someone though.

adoxyinherear · October 2012

Everything I've read and heard from my midwife about PPD suggests that it's a lot more like depression. You won't want to take care of yourself or the baby. *hugs* It definitely sounds like you are just having a rough time

JulyMomma2U2 · October 2012

Hang in there Momma.. (((hugs))) We are 3 1/2 months in and DS still screams like a banshee at times.. and it still rattles our brains!! But, the "failure" feelings definitely subside.. DS is our first baby, so naturally, when he screamed constantly, all I could think is that I was a terrible Mother.. it wasn't until later (and, many Ped visits!!), that I realized he had other things going on and that his screaming had nothing to do with my mothering abilities..

(((big hugs to you)))

Izabella22 · October 2012

Its so hard, DS had colic and I was conviced I was the worst mother ever because I couldn't get him to stop crying and there was so much frustration and resentment. I blamed myself and at one point I told DH I wanted to go to work because "At least I know I"m good at that job" - there's nothing like having a screaming child in your arms and feeling completely incompetent and unable to do anything about it other than ride it out. And as far as being a bad wife... you aren't, and you aren't alone. One night I woke DH up from a sound sleep (listening to his snoring & baby crying at 2am on no sleep... not good) saying loudly "I hate men" over and over... I was so mad he got to sleep while I sat up. That was one of those breakdown moments. It really does get better though, but the short term is seriously tough. Definitely talk to someone if you need to, and vent away here. But you do sound "normal" Hang in there *HUGS*

hopefulmom81 · October 2012

((HUGE HUGS))

https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/ask-heidi/recognizing-postpartum-depression.aspx

As someone who suffered more on the Anxiety end of the post partum issue spectrum, I can't really say much about PPD, but it seems if you are feeling guilty/like a bad mom and overall negative, it might be worth talking to your OB.

Ike, I definitely had HUGE ebb and flows with how I felt about Chelsea/motherhood/life in the first 3 months. I even had a patch where I HATED breastfeeding her and it was going WELL. It does get better. At about 3 months, I finally started feeling like myself again, and here I am at 6 months post partum and I don't even recognize the person I was those first 3 months.

I think one thing is that those of us who had losses and then a baby kind of idealize the baby and motherhood and think everything is going to be spectacular, and then we feel guilty when we are annoyed. Being a mom is annoying sometimes and we need to allow ourselves to feel that and process it. Babies can be annoying/frustrating.

You are NOT a bad mom. Talk to your OB or General Doctor.

authorofdreamz · October 2012

Usually if it lasts more than the first couple of weeks they recommend talking to someone to determine whether or not it is PPD/PPA.

For me, I knew something was wrong when I was in tears everyday for months, I didn't feel a strong bond with DD, I often wished she would go away, I didn't care when she cried, I didn't worry about her when I was away from her. I never thought I would have PPD because of being PAL and how badly I wanted her and it took me a long time to get help and I regret that now. I feel like I missed out on DD's first few months and it kills me that I will never get that time back, I didn't even take many pictures.

IMO it never hurts to call but it definitely can not to.

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