the killer nanny in NY really is such a sad story :( — The Bump
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the killer nanny in NY really is such a sad story :(

it has really shook me up, even though dd goes to daycare - I don't fear anything like that will happen

but still, it just makes me realise how far away I am from my family, and I wish at the end of the day I had family here to watch her now & then

granted she gets a lot out of daycare, and I really love the place, but we have trouble finding babysitters here as we only really have SIL and I just don't trust strangers to watch her, I wish my family was closer.

gosh it's hard to even fathom what that poor family is going through

Re: the killer nanny in NY really is such a sad story :(

  • how do the other international Mom's on here deal with finding a babysitter?

     I'm trying out a girl from dd's daycare later this year, when SIL can't come, I've known her for 10 months and I think I can trust her. I suppose if we didn't have SIL I'd just have to suck it up and interview strangers & pick someone the best I could

  • It is so sad and hard to believe.

     As far as babysitters are concerned....we have a friend of ours that I  have worked with for almost 10 years now. She is a nurse at my clinic.  She actually watches our nieces at our house when we travel to see SDs and my family.

    She occasionally watches DD. I totally trust her but I am not ready to leave DD overnight yet (and I'we are both Ok with that) and we just don't go out much. Even if I was though it would be really hard to find anyone. Anyone I would trust with DD works so that would make it very hard. She is in daycare 3 mornings a week only so that wouldn't work with anyone else schedule anyway. 

    I think I will  have a very hard time leaving DD with anyone for extended period for a while since my trusted peeps work. I would not feel comfortable finding a babysitter somewhere (like online). If I found someone through a friend I would feel Ok having them for an evening but not longer than that. ( at least not for a long time)

    So far it hasn't bothered me too much. Luckily DD travels well and usually does fine eating out so it hasn't interfered much with our lives. And like I said before we aren't big "going out" people and are pretty content just hanging at home (even before DD).

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  • Oh yes, overnight is a whole other thing

    I only have ever left dd overnight with family, and even then - only a few nights in her life

    I just need a babysitter for now & then so we can go to a movie, other than SIL as she always ends up doing it. We rarely go out though, so it's not a big drama, just hard to build up a 'circle of trust' in a new area I guess

  • It's crazy and makes me even more thankful for the position I'm in at the moment where I can stay home with DD. 

    I'm extremely lucky as DH is from here so we have his family and close friends and my parents live here. We primarily use my mum for a caregiver when I have something that needs doing or if we want to go out in the evening as she's younger (54) where as DH's parents are in their early 70's.

    If something happened and I had to leave quickly we're lucky to have a great SAHM of three living next door (Italian decent) who loves DD and I trust her enough to leave DD with in an emergency. (like if the got had to go to the vet because of a horrible accident or something like that). 

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  • Agreed. So, so, sad.

    We haven't left ds with anyone yet. My Mom's group just started a very informal babysitting co-op (six of us). We rotate homes and for two hours, two Moms watch the kids while the others do errands or whatever they want.

    I just left ds last week and it was awesome. And I was nervous about that, but he did fine.

    Having a baby does change everything, I really wish our parents were closer. Mine are visiting next month and that will be our first date night since ds was born.

    To answer your question, at some point we will use a sitter but I haven't been ready for that. I know there are other military famllies that have teenagers that sit, as well as some young military wives that don't have kids that are looking for some extra income. Someday I will do it, if needed, but for right now I won't.

    b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
    DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d

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  • I don't know which news story you're referring to, but based on the context, I think I'll pass on reading it to stop myself from worrying more.

    We have a serious problem with babysitters, not because we wouldn't be able to find any, but because DD has pretty severe stranger anxiety. When she starts to get over it, though, I'm hoping to use students from the university. DH and I are mentors for a Christian group on campus, and I'm sure there are plenty of girls/women there who would like to earn a bit of cash by babysitting and who I would trust. We haven't been able to take advantage of the connection so far because of DD, but we'll probably try it out in a few weeks. DH really wants to see the new James Bond movie, and if we go to a later showing, then the babysitter could come once DD is already in bed. She almost never wakes up before midnight, so she babysitter would just have to hang out on the couch until we get back.

    One issue we're really struggling with right now, though, is what to do when I go into labor or if I have to go on hospital bedrest / have a c/s again. Our nanny, who usually comes in the mornings, would also be available in the evenings in a pinch, but she works another job in the afternoon. So I guess if it comes to that, DH will only be able to work about 2 hours / day in the mornings and have to take the rest of the time off. There's probably some provision in German law for that being counted partially as sick days, but yeah, it's something that's on my mind lately.


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • I unfortunately read that news story...it is unimaginable.

    Living overseas from family, I have no one who I trust to leave DD with other than a couple hours here and there to go out to dinner with DH.

    DH and I recently had a blow up about this.  He bought tickets to go see Muse in Glasgow for the two of us.  We have a baby sitter that we have used twice before when going out for dinner.  We found her through the fitness club we belong too, she works at the creche there and came highly reccomended from the other families that use her as well.  I just did not feel comfortable enough leaving DD while we traveled 3 hours away to the concert...maybe as I become more settled into life here in Scotland I will change my mind.  DH on the otherhand did not have a problem leaving DD with the sitter. 

    I'm fortunuate enough where I SAH so this is not a huge issue to us all the time, but it does make it hard when trying to find time just DH and I.  With DD going to bed early, some nights we have "date night" on the couch talk and relax over a glass or two of wine

     

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  • It's tragically sad, but i wouldn't spend a ton of time worrying about it as it's a very very unlikely story. It sounded like the woman basically had a psychotic break or something, which frankly could happen to any of us, or our family who might be watching our LOs. It sounded like they knew the nanny very well.
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