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Natural Birth
I <3 you guys! =D
So I've been lurking on this board for a while; pregnant with my first, due in early May. I hate all things medical (doctors, hospitals, needles, etc.) and giving birth in a hospital is so not my style. I am dead set against any medical intervention (iv, medication, epidural, epistomy, surgery (unless something goes seriously wrong) and love the idea of a natural homebirth. I managed to get Spouse on board with hypnobabies, though he's still skeptical about the whole thing, but he said if this is what I want to do and it will help me then he will be there every step of the way and do whatever he can.
However, he was insistent that we have a real doctor and go to a hospital because he's terrified of something going wrong and losing me (which is sweet, how can I be mad?!). I did convince him that I want to stay home as long as possible before going to the hospital and he did nicely request that I not entirely rule out the possibility of getting an epidural (though honestly, the idea of a huge needle in my spine is way more scary to me than the actual giving birth!).
So I keep seeing people on here mentioning the documentary "The Business of Being Born"... we were just sitting on the couch today relaxing so I turned on Netflix and found it. He rolled his eyes at me and stayed on the laptop while I watched, he made a few comments about it being biased early on, but as it kept playing I could tell he was actually paying attention. A few times, I snuck a look at the laptop and saw that he was doing his own research! I didn't say a word, didn't even ask him to watch it with me, just let it play in the background for him and let it sink in. About three quarters of the way through, he said to me, "ok, if you really want to do this, we are definitely doing it here because it will be all way too much in a new place" (we have been considering moving out of state because of a great job opportunity for him and have been discussing if before or after the baby comes is better), and I glance over and he's already trying to find us a midwife!
I still haven't said anything, haven't insisted that we have to do it this way or that this is definitely what I want, but I feel like something clicked for him and he's now trying to work it out for himself to see what our options are, and I'm beyond thrilled. Though he did make a comment about how "what Ricki Lake isn't telling you is the thousands of dollars she spent on having an ambulance outside at the ready in case something went wrong" - LOL! But he started asking me about the water tub and who brings that and how it works, and looking up how you can get a midwife that actually has medical training... YAY.
So, a huge THANK YOU to everyone here for the suggestion! Just sitting here watching it went even better than I could have expected or planned. Nothing is definite yet, but I have a really good feeling that the birth experience that I want is much more within my grasp now, which includes him feeling confident about the process and not being stressed and worried about something going wrong!
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Re: I &lt;3 you guys! =D
That's really cool that your DH did his own research!
That is great to hear. He sounds like a great husband.
We watched that movie too and it is what got my DH on board with natural childbirth and convinced him that we should hire a doula.
Good luck!
I LOVE this post! My husband was the same way. He thought I had lost my mind when I decided to switch to midwives when I was 37 weeks pregnant with our third baby. However these midwives were at a hospital. I did compromise for him but I still had my natural birth! After the birth we ended up watching The Business of Being Born and he couldn't believe it. Even though we had just experienced a natural birth in a hospital he was still floored by the statistics and of course he has seen, firsthand, how it all works since my first two births I did have epidurals.
He is now a huge supporter and advocate for natural birth and outside-the-hospital birth. We actually go to a birth center now but at one point he even said, "If we had to have this baby all on our own we could do it!" Unassisted isn't my style and I'm not dogging it but I do know that if we were caught in labor on our own we'd rock it.
Anyway SO EXCITED FOR YOU! Sometimes men do need to "figure it out" on their own or in their own way or speak to someone other than their spouse (for some funny reason it comes easier from another dude than their own wife!).
Wow, at 37 weeks?! That must have been a pretty intense time being so close to your edd! That's wonderful. I love that he is completely on board now and would even feel confident with just the two of you!
Spouse mentioned that he saw on Netflix they have a sequel to the Business of Being Born documentary... I was like yup- so we may watch it later (last night was too crazy lol). But I'm just so glad he is finally getting on board. We scheduled an info session at a home birth service center near us for this weekend, and I'm trying to schedule another in the same day, both are places that he found on his own and wants to go see what they are all about and talk to some people. I'm beyond excited.