another CIO post- What's your definition of "CIO"

Re: another CIO post- What's your definition of "CIO"

• mkflower3000 member

  October 2012

  I think generally true CIO is when you leave baby alone for a long time (more than 5-10 minutes) while they're screaming their head off - no reassurance, no checking in, etc.

  I know some people consider Ferber CIO because you do leave LO for a few minutes at a time, but from everything that I've heard that is not the case. 

  ETA - to be honest, I have this feeling that because all LOs are so different, not all training methods work for all babies. I think that some lend themselves to cry-less sleeping solutions MUCH easier than others, just because some LOs are naturally bedtime fussers. Maybe that's a naive thought, but just like there are older children who are really resistant to bedtime because of their personalities (regardless of how much prior downtime, routines, etc, they get), I think some babies might be as well. 

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• khill86 member

  October 2012

  To me, CIO is letting your baby cry (real, true crying, not just fussing), and not attempting to soothe or reassure.

  
  

  I know there's no way I could handle doing it. But I have a friend that did CIO for naps, and her LO cried for an hour the first nap, 30 minutes the second nap, 20 minutes the first nap second day, and not at all for naps afterward. She goes down super easy for naps and easier for bedtime. It obviously worked well for them, although my friend admitted that she sat outside LO's room crying herself. So it was a draining couple of days but she has no regrets.

  

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• daisy080187 member

  October 2012

  I hate the CIO it sounds so awful.. I prefer Self Soothe (it just sounds nicer), I'm sure all us mommies can tell when your baby is crying-cause he/she is bored or fighting sleep & than CRYING when he/she is hurt/hungry/or just simply pissed.. DS started waking up 3 or 4 times a night when he's a usual 1 time a night kinda baby... also it didn't help that I was gettin bad about letting DS lay in bed with me & DH after a bottle so I think he got use to just wanting to sleep with me.. so we started self soothe.. if he wakes up & I can tell he's not really upset I let him wine/whimper/talk in his crib for a lil bit & see how he does...9 times out of 10 he's asleep within 2 minutes (& of course I panic cause its silent so either me or DH check to make sure he's okay & breathing & all)..but if I know he's hunger or i can tell he's really upset of course I go in there & take care of his needs..and so far its been working very well for me.. me & my sis was self soothed & we don't have any psychological damage due to it!

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• thatoneredhead member

  October 2012

  My LO has alot of "builder cries" then he gets to the real one. I guess what I define as not CIO is not letting him stay at that real cry for any amount of time. I will let him be unhappy, because he does need to learn how to get to sleep. 

  I read a blog (sorry no link) about babies needing to be heard instead of hushed. I really try to respond to his cries in the way that he needs responding to, if that makes sense. I like getting to the source of the problem, not just distracting him. If that takes a few minutes of grumpiness when hes just tired, not hungry, then ok. 

   

  
  

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• giraffe54

  October 2012

  To me, CIO is any method that teaches LO to sleep by letting them cry until they realize crying won't get them what they want, or it exhausts them into sleep. So Ferber, PU/PD, Extinction CIO are all CIO to me. Non-CIO methods, to me, are ones that work to make sure LO is on an appropriate sleep schedule (most books say sleep problems are largely due to overtired babies) and that gently break sleep associations (nurse to sleep, etc.). 

  That being said, I don't think CIO methods are all bad, and with older kids who have severe sleep problems and deeply engrained habits, more extreme measures may be needed. But, I do side-eye people who use CIO methods because, heaven forbid, their 4 month old wants to feed twice a night.

  I don't consider fussing it out to be CIO, if the fussing doesn't escalate. We let LO fuss for maybe 10 minutes if she wakes up shortly after bed time. The moment she gets too worked up, we pick her up and cuddle her. But usually, she zonks out within a few minutes of protesting. 

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• acbfreire member

  October 2012

  giraffe54:

  To me, CIO is any method that teaches LO to sleep by letting them cry until they realize crying won't get them what they want, or it exhausts them into sleep. So Ferber, PU/PD, Extinction CIO are all CIO to me. Non-CIO methods, to me, are ones that work to make sure LO is on an appropriate sleep schedule (most books say sleep problems are largely due to overtired babies) and that gently break sleep associations (nurse to sleep, etc.). 

  That being said, I don't think CIO methods are all bad, and with older kids who have severe sleep problems and deeply engrained habits, more extreme measures may be needed. But, I do side-eye people who use CIO methods because, heaven forbid, their 4 month old wants to feed twice a night.

  I don't consider fussing it out to be CIO, if the fussing doesn't escalate. We let LO fuss for maybe 10 minutes if she wakes up shortly after bed time. The moment she gets too worked up, we pick her up and cuddle her. But usually, she zonks out within a few minutes of protesting. 

  I agree
  

  

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• strawberrytree member

  October 2012

  giraffe54:

  To me, CIO is any method that teaches LO to sleep by letting them cry until they realize crying won't get them what they want, or it exhausts them into sleep. So Ferber, PU/PD, Extinction CIO are all CIO to me. Non-CIO methods, to me, are ones that work to make sure LO is on an appropriate sleep schedule (most books say sleep problems are largely due to overtired babies) and that gently break sleep associations (nurse to sleep, etc.). 

  That being said, I don't think CIO methods are all bad, and with older kids who have severe sleep problems and deeply engrained habits, more extreme measures may be needed. But, I do side-eye people who use CIO methods because, heaven forbid, their 4 month old wants to feed twice a night.

  I don't consider fussing it out to be CIO, if the fussing doesn't escalate. We let LO fuss for maybe 10 minutes if she wakes up shortly after bed time. The moment she gets too worked up, we pick her up and cuddle her. But usually, she zonks out within a few minutes of protesting. 

  I agree with this. If DS is fussing, we don't go to him right away, and sometimes he falls back asleep. But as soon as it escalates, we are right there.

  There have been times when we've had to let him cry, because we were in the car and couldn't pull over. The whole time I was reaching back to soothe him and reassure that we were there, and we sang and talked to him the whole time. I don't consider that CIO because we were trying to soothe him. I consider CIO to be when the parent doesn't attempt to soothe the crying child. 

  
   

  

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• gatsbygirl member

  October 2012

  We've always used Controlled Crying, which is checking in on baby every 1, 3, 5, 7...minutes until baby falls asleep. I just assumed this was the same as Crying It Out, but I guess not. I wouldn't ever leave LO to cry nonstop without checking on him, but the Controlled Crying method was a lifesaver for us with our daughter, and I'm about to begin using it to sleep train our son.

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• RioG1978 member

  October 2012

  giraffe54:

  To me, CIO is any method that teaches LO to sleep by letting them cry until they realize crying won't get them what they want, or it exhausts them into sleep. So Ferber, PU/PD, Extinction CIO are all CIO to me. Non-CIO methods, to me, are ones that work to make sure LO is on an appropriate sleep schedule (most books say sleep problems are largely due to overtired babies) and that gently break sleep associations (nurse to sleep, etc.). 

  That being said, I don't think CIO methods are all bad, and with older kids who have severe sleep problems and deeply engrained habits, more extreme measures may be needed. But, I do side-eye people who use CIO methods because, heaven forbid, their 4 month old wants to feed twice a night.

  I don't consider fussing it out to be CIO, if the fussing doesn't escalate. We let LO fuss for maybe 10 minutes if she wakes up shortly after bed time. The moment she gets too worked up, we pick her up and cuddle her. But usually, she zonks out within a few minutes of protesting. 

   I feel this way as well.  I'm certainly not an expert, but my gut tells me that babies will follow their own path when they are ready - so when they are ready and able to STTN, they will.  When they are ready and able to drop night time feedings, they will.  And my job is to just be with them on that path.  Sure, we can help them along with routines and guidance (I read somewhere that babies need to be "parented to sleep" and thought that was a great way of saying it.  So the rocking and the singing and the nighttime routines are really just parenting them to sleep).

  My LO is 5 months old and I'm fairly sure (never say never) we won't "sleep train", but will continue to just encourage good sleep habits.  I am going to make a better effort at helping her nap longer during the day, as I definitely see a correlation between short naps and bad nighttime sleep.  For me this means having her nap in the bouncer or swing so I can settle her back to sleep with motion when she tries to wake up.

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