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cannot believe dh

brighteyes2123brighteyes2123
in May 2013 Moms
Last night DH and I were talking after DS was asleep... and he was like so how far along pregnant are you? I said the nurse I spoke with said 12 weeks, 2 days. He says okay, then on his lap top starts counting backwards... a few secondss go by, then he asks and when were you out of town again? I said August 9th, till the 18th. I don't know if it's how he counted or what, but he figures I got pregnant when I was out of town... he didn't come out and say it, but he figures I cheated! Seriously? I told him I've never cheated and never plan to cheat on him. I think this is just being brought up and rearing it's ugly head cause of the baby momma drama with his ex and he always questioned his daughter. If he still doubts the baby is his any more during the pregnancy, he can go by a DNA test and find out he's wrong, the baby will be his! Ugh, while he's at it he needs to buy one to test his daughter, since they failed to do that last year when he sued to ex to find that out... instead they just slapped his name on the birth certificate. Anyways, vent over, cause I'm not wanting to dwell on what he supposedly thinks I may or may have not done.

Edit to say: I also havemy first u/s and doc's appointment next Tuesday, now I have no idea if he's coming... since I don't really have anyone to watch DS while I see the doc and have the u/s he wouldn't be able to come, even I wanted him too. I'll wait till next week to ask DH if he is or isn't coming...
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Re: cannot believe dh

  • trlrichatrlricha member
    I would be extremely hurt by this. He needs to work on his trust issues. It's not fair for you to be punished for something someone did to him in the past.
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  • MommaG123MommaG123 member

    Yeah I am 12 weeks 4 days and know for a fact I got pregnant on Aug 17th because that is the only day we had sex for like a 2 week period (while I was out of town) so more likely you got KU when you had "hey baby I'm home" sex with YH.

    I'm sorry he's being a douche.  Also since you haven't had an u/s yet they may change your due date once you have the u/s. 

      
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  • AM926AM926 member
    imagedoribeth851:

    imageKateRN08:
    So I'm guessing you calculated your due date by LMP so your last period was August 7 give or take... For you to have cheated you would he had to have ovulated on CD 11... Not very likely. Your husbands math sucks and I would be vey upset, but maybe I'm just hormonal.

    This exactly. Not only is his math wrong, but I'd be extremely upset if my husband questioned me just because of issues he had in a past relationship.



    Both of these things! He needs to work on his trust issues!
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    Does he understand that 12 weeks is from your LMP, and not from conception?  I would be livid with H if he started doubting whether the baby was his.  
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  • CeefomeCeefome member
    I hope he only counted back 10 weeks.  you both know that right?  The first two weeks of your pregnancy, you're not really pregnant.
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  • blush64blush64 member

    Unless he was seriously joking I would not be very forgiving if my husband even hinted at anything like this. This is not ok. I don't care what happened in his past, you are not his ex and to accuse you of something like that it really shows a lack of respect and trust. I would find it quite insulting as well. He might need to see a therapist to deal with his past. It's a happy exciting time, not a time to have to explain to your husband that you didn't cheat on him.

    About the ultrasound I wouldn't mind if my husband couldn't come. Mine didn't come to the first few I've had and may not be there next week for my next one either.

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  • geoffandkarageoffandkara member
    I'm sorry he more or less accused you of this.  :(  Men can sometimes be so insensitive.
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  • tuffytifftuffytiff

    imagetrlricha:
    I would be extremely hurt by this. He needs to work on his trust issues. It's not fair for you to be punished for something someone did to him in the past.

    This exactly! 

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  • be888be888 member

    imagetrlricha:
    I would be extremely hurt by this. He needs to work on his trust issues. It's not fair for you to be punished for something someone did to him in the past.

    This. It is very unfair to you, and I'm very sorry he is being such an a-hole. Have you explained to him how conception and timing works? My DH would be in the doghouse for a very long time for even mentioning something like this.   


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  • April!April! member

    imagetrlricha:
    I would be extremely hurt by this. He needs to work on his trust issues. It's not fair for you to be punished for something someone did to him in the past.

    +1 to this. Your husband's math is wrong, and he's being a tremendous jerk. 

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  • amoramoureamoramoure
    I would be livid. He needs a lesson on how this all works. As the pp's have mentioned, the first two weeks of your pregnancy, you're not actually pregnant. So you should count back 10 weeks, not 12. 
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  • brighteyes2123brighteyes2123
    I had my period August 2nd, we had sex the 29th of July and then again when I got back from being out of town. I was just hurt I couldn't really say anything to him, other then how dare he think something like that from me. Especially since he never doubted me when I was stuck in Canada last year for seven months. He already told me a few months back he didn't trust me, but I thought it was for something else, maybe now it wasn't. When he wakes up I'll have him count back ten weeks; my mom sent me a link that broke it all down nicely. I agree it sucks that he's letting what happen in a previous relationship come into ours, so I just gotta hope the stinkin thinkin goes sooner rather then later :'[
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  • HoolahZingerHoolahZinger member
    Weren't you worried about people thinking you were cheating earlier in your pregnancy? I don't see why everyone is looking so deep into it...sounds like a good time to clean sweep through the friends and maybe get DH into counseling. Distrust in a marriage can eat it alive. You don't deserve to be questioned just because people don't understand basic sex education! I am so sorry you have to deal with this. It is so inappropriate! 
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  • junie216junie216
    Counting back 10 weeks wont exactly work either since on CD 14 you were out of town.  Your CD 1 was August 2nd, then you got home on CD 16 August 18th.  Eggs can live up to 5 days yes, but it is more likely that you ovulated on CD 16 or later, closer to your hump day. 
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  • Crook251Crook251 member
    When men are hurt and or frustrated some of them have the tendency to be complete A-holes. Sounds to me like he is just looking for a way to relieve some stress, unfortunately, you had to be the one to receive it. Either way it's just not right. When he really sits down to think about it he's going to be for VERY sorry he even had those thoughts. Good Luck!

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  • star510star510

    My husband has "joked" about getting a paternity test to make sure the baby is really his.  I laughed, and told him to knock himself out and go for it; that it would be a waste of time.  He has an ongoing joke that whenever I go to Bible study I'm really going to visit my "boyfriend".  He has told me years ago that there is always at least some truth in a joke.  I don't know how much he is joking and how serious it is, but I can't take him too seriously because the idea that it isn't his is just ludicrous.  He is the only person I have ever had sex with in my entire life.  He on the other hand has trust issues, has a child from a previous relationship, and an ex who cheated on him. 

    I was also out of town in August.  I was gone from August 14 - 19.  He hasn't suggested yet that I got pregnant while out of town, but I've been half expecting it.  I know for certain I got pregnant on August 22 (the hey honey I'm glad your home sex a PP mentioned). 

    Hopefully you and your DH get it worked out and he realizes that you have been faithful to him.  I know my husband was scared when he made the comments to me, and I think that's where it came from.  He doesn't want this baby so thinking that it could be someone else's is just wishful thinking for him. 

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  • brighteyes2123brighteyes2123
    I could try to figure out his reasons for why he thinks I got pregnant out of town... but that'll make me go crazier then I already am ;] I saw one of my closest friends, who I think DH is still intimidated by... even though we never hooked up [he's gay, but my best friend] DH has always thought there was something there and he likes me more then "just a friend".
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