DS being "beat up" at daycare, help!

KTdidit · October 2012

Hi everyone, I usually just lurk here, I'm a little more active on the blended families board, but I need advice. The past two days DS has been crying and screaming when I drop him off at daycare in the mornings. He does this sometimes on Monday because he's used to the 2 full days with Mommy and doesn't want me to leave. So when he did it even worse this morning it hit me hard. My fiance told me that he got another accident report yesterday because a kid scratched him. That makes 4 accident reports in 2 weeks: twice a kid bit him, once a kid hit him on the head with a block, and now he gets scratched. Daycare won't disclose which kid is the agressor, but they did say the same kid is biting and that DS doesn't provoke it at all. I will be calling the daycare and letting them know this has got to stop. But what can I really demand/expect of them? I can't stand to take DS to a place that he is scared to go. Help me

Netty_3 · October 2012

I would ask the teacher if the child in question is hurting others as well...and if the other child might be put on an action plan to curb the behavior by getting parents and possibly professionals involved in case there is something more going on there. I know of a child that was hurting others in his class...but the situation at home was that the parents were recently divorced, and then the mother was in the hospital literally fighting for her life for a 6 months...and wasn't able to have contact with her child that whole time...that all led to her child acting out and being aggressive. Sometimes there are more things going on. So I think being sensitive to what may be leading to that behavior while also protecting your LO by making sure something is being done. Please be sensitive though, you never know what's going on behind closed doors.

kmz885 · October 2012

I would schedule a meeting with the teacher(s) and director about coming up with a plan that will keep your kid safe.

ASmallWonder · October 2012

The block thing is totally NBD to me and the scratch follows closely behind. So that leaves two biting incidents in two weeks. I get it - my kid got bit at his last center and it sucks. But before you go in, guns drawn, take a breath. Ask them if they've determined how to keep on top of the issue. That's going to go over a lot better than "This has GOT TO STOP!" They know it's got to stop but it's not something they can immediately put a stop to with a snap of fingers. So, like I said, go in with concern and questions, not anger.

1026pumpkin · October 2012

I wouldn't totally be freaking out, as most of that behavior is typical for kids that age. I would ask the teacher if you could talk with her about it, and let her know that you're concerned it seems to be an increasing problem, and if one kid is constantly the "aggressor" what are they doing to prevent it from recurring.....I think it is common to assign someone to shadow the aggressor and intervene. I would only get concerned if they're not doing something to address it.

KTdidit · November 2012

Thanks for the suggestions, I called daycare the other day and talked to DS's teacher. I just said that I was making sure he calmed down from the morning and that led into a discussion about all of his accident reports. Basically she reassured me that no one is picking on him specifically and that DS is handling things well. I know that they are toddlers and are learning social skills and how to interact with other kids so I wasn't accusing the kids or teachers of anything. Just making sure there isn;t anything I need to be mroe aware of.