Preemies

Balancing NICU and Home

Hi ladies,

Thanks for all the welcoming and supportive responses to my intro earlier in the week. I love this board already!

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I'm pretty new, so please excuse the repeat! My son, Jack, is 8 days old. He was born at 32.5 wks. He's doing well; he just needs to start taking a bottle.

What kind of time did you spend at the NICU? I've been visiting once or twice a day for about 3-4 hours at a time. I feel super guilty when I'm at home, but we have to get almost everything ready for when he comes home. I've heard of other NICU moms who spend the majority of the day there. How did you balance NICU and homelife?

Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

 
 

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Re: Balancing NICU and Home

  • I felt awful all the time. If been on hospital bedrest for 35 days and only got to see dh and ds1 a few hours each day. I missed them terribly. And then we went straight into NICU life with ds2, born at 32w3d. I spent about 6 or 7 hours a day there, from 8a until 2 or 3p. I bf'ed and pumped three times while there. Then I'd come home and see the family I'd been neglecting for so long all the whole thinking I should be in the NICU. It was hard and thankfully we only had to do it for 21 days. I don't think there's a way you can win with this, unfortunately. Just know you're not alone!
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  • I agree with what everyone else said, but to answer your question directly, I was there twice a day, once for about 1 hour (just one feeding) and once for 3+ hours (two feedings). With the two feeding time, H and I would often leave to go get dinner in between, though. It's hard - when I left the hospital, I had been there over 3 weeks and needed time at home for my own sanity, but as soon as I got home, I started sobbing about not being with DD. It's impossible not to feel guilty, but it's only temporary and all you can do is your best. GL!

    Daughter born at 34 weeks due to PPROM, July 2012

    Expecting baby #2, May 8, 2015

    May 2015 signature challenge for January: "You had ONE job!"

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  • I am up there about 4-5 hours every day and trust me, I get the guilty feeling all the time...especially now that he is being more active and is feeding so well. I make sure to stay through shift change and that I get a chance to do his cares and get a feeding in.

    I also, got the guilty feeling when I saw the moms who were up there all the time, 24/7 with their babies. I talked to one mom who finally this weekend, went home after being up there the entire time for almost a month. I know for my own sanity, I would not have been able to do it.

    On Friday, I got to the hospital later than I wanted because I had taken a nap and slept through my alarm. I was telling the nurses how guilty I was feeling that I got there later than I wanted to.  The nurse told me that I needed to take care of myself b/c if I didn't, I wouldn't be any good to my baby.

    I do not think the guilty feeling ever goes away until the baby actually comes home. 

     

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • I spent about 3-4 hours in the evenings. It was what worked for our schedule but it was definitely hard. I always felt guilty. Thankfully it feels like a distant memory already. We were in for a little over 3 weeks. And we've been home for a month. 
    Chelsea; 7/22/2005 Carissa; 4/9/2011 Cassidy; 9/6/2012
    Baby #4; 7/7/2018
  • Totally personal to you.  What your comfortable with.  My boys were my only children and they were in the NICU together.  I spent almost all day there... I'd go around 8am and leave around 2pm, go home, make dinner, and go back in the evening with my hubby.  There were a few times we skipped going back at night to go out to eat or get stuff done around the house.  

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