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stay at home DH anyone?

ambrvanambrvan member
in Working Moms
Does anyone else have an SO that stays at home? Mine does not intend to be a STAHD, but he has been out of work since Sept 1st and things don't look to be changing anytime soon. So we pulled DS out of daycare for now, and DH keeps him. He is still looking for a job, and he already has a contract to work for the county ambulance service upon graduation of EMT school in May. So this is only a temporary arrangement, and I am perfectly fine with it as long as the bills are paid. My question is this: is anyone else sharing this arrangement right now? What are the biggest strains on your relationship as a couple because of it?
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Re: stay at home DH anyone?

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    runrinserepeatrunrinserepeat member

    Yup, DH SAH. He really likes it. 

    The biggest strain that I've noticed is that I don't feel like I do enough around the house. I get home and I'm pretty exhausted. DH feels like he has to tall me all the things he's done around the house during the day (I think maybe he feels like he has to justify SAH, which isn't true, but ...), and I just want to sit back, relax, and spend time with DD. So yeah, by the end of the day I don't feel like I've contributed much. I've talked to him about it and I think we're in a good place, but it's going to take some getting used to.  

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    adenney23adenney23 member
    My DH is a SAH and he loves it. The issue we have is that when I get home from work he wants a break, I don't blame him but it sometimes makesnme feel like I'm always working. This has gotten better the longer we've had this arrangement though.
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    AnxiousmamiAnxiousmami
    I sorta consider my OH a SAH cause he is a fulltime student and I wk retail and am gone a big chunk middle of the day, both of our parents help in keeping kids if our schedules clash and he is in charge of colecting kids, getting home, doing baths,dishes and dinner and usually have them in bed once I get home. Not always but on my days off I do what I can, I just had our LO 4 days ago and will be off atleast 6wks so ill be doing a lot more but I think just the same as if the woman was a SAH just keep the respect for eachother. Try to find balance the best way you can just like everything else in life. GL
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    kristenndkristennd member

    imageadenney23:
    My DH is a SAH and he loves it. The issue we have is that when I get home from work he wants a break, I don't blame him but it sometimes makes me feel like I'm always working. This has gotten better the longer we've had this arrangement though.

    That was an early challenge for us as well. Even more so, perhaps, because DH is a completely voluntary SAHD. But of course it was more work/stress/boredom than he expected, just like many SAHMs experience.

    He also has no internal motivation (ie, social conditioning) to keep the house clean, so that's another source of contention now that LO is old enough to play happily on his own for extended periods and takes four hour naps. DH does have an evening/weekend job, so that tends to make him feel he has fewer obligations around the house.

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