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December 2012 Moms
beckpreg
member
Stressing about maternity leave and work issues
beckpreg
member
Let me say that I love my job and my employers and they have been wondeful to me BUT b/c one of my duties involves running the HR dept. I have seen that every woman who has gone on maternity leave, they kind of treat her like a slacker when she isnt ready to return when they want her back....this is the situation too when people state how long they want to take off and it gets approved. They still call them weeks before that time has come and ask if they can come back earlier. ITS SO RUDE!!! a lot of times the girls will feel that their job is in jeopardy (even though that isnt implied) but the sheer fact that their boss is asking them to return, makes them say yes.
So, I know going into this that will be the case. Im trying to prepare myself mentally for that call/email. Plus, my duties are those that will really wear people out who are filling in for me. They are getting about 5 people to do my job when Im out b/c after 10 years of being there I kind of do everything and a lot of what I do is pretty difficult.
Im having some serious anxiety about the fact that after 10 years and I hardly EVER take time off, that I deserve this 8 weeks with my LO and DH.
Do you think I should casually address it with them before I leave like in a way of saying "oh and dont try to call me back before 8 weeks, I wont be ready" or just wait and see what happens....although im 100% sure they are going to ask me to start working again.
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Re: Stressing about maternity leave and work issues
This. Assuming your company qualifies for FMLA, you are going back early - you are entitled to 12 weeks.
Just practice saying "no." Or tell them now that you want 12 weeks off and they'll be happy when you come back at 8.
My 4 Angel Babies.....
MC#1- 12/2008, MC#2- 05/2009, MC#3 07/2009, MC#4 11/2009
Training to become an IBCLC. BF Questions? Just ask!
I would just keep myself focused on what is important to you. And it sounds like getting all 8 weeks with your baby. Be firm and know legdally our job is NOT on the line.
Just a side note, when I had the twins, I ended up coming back 1 week early, but came back part time for two weeks (1 full week = 2 part time weeks). For me, I s was able to more slowly get up to speed and get used to being away from the girls. Not sure if this is something that your employer would be open to, but it was a great way to "ease" back into the working world.
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
I would try to talk to the people responsible for such rude behavior and explain your concerns. I had to do some explaining with my first maternity leave to my 2 childless male bosses who did not really understand. Some of the things I brought up were:
- Every birth/child is different, it is impossible to predict or compare - one mom may be ready to come back at 8 weeks, another may need 18!
- Usually the reasons you don't want to come back have nothing to do with wanting to work or not - it's about finding childcare you are comfortable with, adjusting to new routines and schedules, not getting enough sleep, trouble with feeding, etc.
- If they think they are going to struggle without you, they need a better plan for covering your work while you are out. They should hire a temp or contractor or somehow outsource what you do (or what others on the team do so they can take over for you).
Another thing I would say to YOU is that things have a way of coming together! I was SO stressed about coming back to work, really thought I couldn't do it. But once I got over the hump of the first couple days back - getting used to leaving LO at home, pumping at work, etc I realized that working a desk job is about 1000 times easier than caring for an infant! Not to mention being around adults again was so nice. So you may not feel quite ready to go back, but you may well find it's not as bad as you expect!
GL.